Someone I Lost
by Lady Gisborne 15
Summary: Annie was his child-hood friend, and dare he believe, his first love? But she was gone now. Whether she was dead or alive, she wasn't coming back...or so he thinks. For the woman he lost will once again return to his life and she will haunt him more in the present than she ever did in the past. Ben/Annie
1. Chapter 1

_**Initially, I wasn't going to even put this story up until the New Year. But...just...I couldn't wait! I am so excited about it!**_

_** Basically I decided to write this for two reasons. One. What the heck ever happened to Annie, anyway? Like. Seriously? And two. There are so few completed Ben Linus stories out there that I just had to help expand the fandom. **_

_** Not to mention, I'm simply in love with Benjamin Linus from LOST. **_

_** I hope you all enjoy this story!**_

_** And many thanks to my friend Jillian who designed the cover art! Love you girlie.**_

_** Disclaimer: I don't own LOST. Obviously. I don't own the Island. Gladly. I don't own Annie. Sadly. And I don't own Ben. Unfortunately. Sorry.**_

_**XxxxXXXxXXxxXXxx**_

_ 49 days after the crash..._

"Why did you do this?" She accused as she tried to contain the many emotions within her that were bubbling to release. "Why did you bring me out here?"

"What?" He scoffed. "You mean instead of his wife?" He knew. Dear God, how long had he known of the affair? She watched as he turned to walk back up the hill.

Anger surged within Juliet. What if this hadn't been just another accident? What if Goodwin had died for a reason? "You did this," she let slip out. He turned back around, surprised that she should say such a thing. "You brought him out here because you knew this would happen!" She continued to accuse, her voice rising to a crescendo before she ended in a whisper. "You wanted him to die!...Why?" For all her reasoning, she could not understand.

"Why?" Ben seemed shocked that she did not know his motives. How could such a beautiful and smart woman not be able to deduce such a simple explanation? "You're asking me why?!" With each step back down the hill, his voice rose. "After everything I've done to get you here, after everything I've done to keep you here, how could you possibly not understand-" Dare he admit his innermost thoughts and feelings? "- That you're _MINE_!"

His thoughts were out in the open and there was absolutely nothing he could do to take them back. Juliet just stared at him in horror.

Just as quickly as his anger had come, it dissipated into nothingness. He refused to think of himself as in the wrong, as unjustified, for his actions. No matter if Juliet looked at him with hate or fear, he would never let her see him as anymore unnerved than she just had.

"Take as much time as you need," he told her softly, before he walked away so that she could grieve over her lost love and her lost life combined.

Ben had taken away her family, her life, her past and future, and her lover. But did he feel sorry? Did he feel guilty? Remorseful? No. Because Benjamin Linus hardly ever felt anything anymore.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben lifted his head to smell the exotic island breeze. It carried along the rich aromas of dirt, rain, and the ever-shining sun. Two days he had been on this island. In all that time, he had hardly seen his father. With new employment, he knew his dad was busy, too busy even to check and see how his own son was adjusting to the change.

Ben was nine years old. He hadn't had many friend back home. Quite honestly, he hadn't really had _any_. So, moving from Portland, Oregon to the island really didn't affect Ben too much. He was just as alone here as he had been back in Oregon.

He was sitting idly on the swing, letting his legs dangle as he swung back and forth. He leaned his head back and smelled the air again. There was something Ben liked about the smell, something that felt warm and inviting.

"Hi. I remember you," a small voice interrupted his thoughts and he sat back up as fast as he could, all feelings of relaxation and comfort gone as he stared at the newcomer before him. "You were the boy who came on the submarine, right?"

Ben recognized her immediately as the girl he had met when his dad had been enlisted into his working assignments. How could he not remember her? She was one of the small hand-full of people who had actually made an effort to talk with him, and here she was again. All he could do in reply was nod his head. This seemed to be a good enough answer for her, though, and she smiled as she sat down in the swing next to him.

"Is your dad working?"

Ben, still staring straight ahead, nodded again.

"What do you do all day?" She was answered with a shrug. She didn't seem perturbed. "Well, you should come to our school. You would like it. The teacher's really nice."

Ben turned to face her and saw that she was grinning at him. He watched as her red hair blew in the breeze. He was speechless, tongue-tied. He had never really been involved in a conversation before. He never really opened his mouth. So, he just nodded.

She cocked her head. "You don't talk much, do ya?" Ben began to inwardly panic. She was accusing him of his silence, she was finally realizing that something was wrong with him, just as everybody, at one time or another, realized about him. But, then, the girl surprised him again. "That's okay." She smiled. "I'll just talk and you can listen." Then, she kicked her feet up and began to swing.

Ben smiled in thanks and kicked his feet up too. For the first time in his life, he had found a friend.

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_** I hope you loved it! Please tell me how much you enjoyed it by writing me a review!**_

_** And for all of you who are not aware, me and funnygirl00 are heading up a petition demanding the right for the writers on this site to be able to delete any reviews that they wish to not appear on their stories. Many of us, including myself, have recently gotten hit by an onslaught of disgusting and pornographic spammers. If you wish to add your name to the petition then PM me and show your support!**_

_** Thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm not expecting a ton of feedback from this story, considering it's such a small fandom anyway. But I'm proud to be posting and I figured that since the last chapter was so short, I needed to post another!**_

_** Please leave me a review, guys! They honestly mean the world to me :)**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

___51 days after the crash..._

Ben closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he found the small mercy was not afforded to him. He tried to concentrate on the black nothingness around him. But the silence was too silent. It was stifling.

Throwing his head back against his pillow, he groaned with frustration. He couldn't get Juliet's voice out of his head. It rang clear and true through his skull. And the more he ran the voice through his head, the more uncertainty began to course through his veins. Uncertainty that he had perhaps done something wrong.

Guilt began to slowly creep into his soul. Guilt for ruining yet another person's life. And that person was the woman he had thought he had loved. For that love, that _need_, he had destroyed the man she, in turn, had professed to love. Guilt was not foreign to Ben, but it certainly wasn't frequent. He didn't allow himself to feel such a trifling emotion, but sometimes it crept up on him unawares.

So, he quickly pressed back the feeling until it was only a small throbbing. It became dull and next to nothing.

Instead, he found that when he closed his eyes again a new face flashed before his mind and a new voice rang in his ears: the face and the voice of the one woman who had caused him more quilt and more remorse than anyone else. The woman with soft red curls.

Annie.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Mr. Linus? Sir?" The nurse called the man out of his dream-like reverie. It was slow and painful, but he began to come back to the land of the living. To Roger Linus, being conscious was far more painful than being asleep, in his mind he could be locked away from all death and loss and grief. Being awake was like a living hell. He said nothing to the nurse, nor did she expect him too. After all, she had just told him only an hour ago that his wife had died. She smiled comfortingly at him, but Roger was numb and indifferent. "Mr. Linus, you have a beautiful, health baby boy. He's a little small, but that's to be expected for someone who decided to come into this world a little early." Roger still said nothing, just stared blankly at the wall in front of him. The nurse frowned slightly at his lack of response. "Would you like to hold him?" She pushed.

For the first time, Roger looked over at her. He noticed the small bundle in her arms and was silent for a moment, staring at it as if it were something foreign to him. Finally, he gave a small nod of his head, and the nurse smiled at his acceptance, before gently laying the baby in his arms. Roger looked down at his son for the first time and he physically flinched when he noticed just how much the child resembled Emily. It was like a slap to the face. Because Emily was dead, and this baby was all that was left in her place. They would have made good parents, they had been overjoyed at the news, and had anxiously anticipated the birth of their first child. It was awful, Roger thought, how things could change in nearly an instant.

"What's his name?" The nurse interrupted his cloud of thoughts yet again.

"Benjamin," Roger whispered, almost gently for a second. Then, his face grew hard and emotionless once again. "Now take him away," he commanded coldly.

"Excuse me, sir?" It was clear that she didn't understand.

"Take. Him. Away." Roger growled through clenched teeth as he thrust the baby, a bit too roughly, into the woman's arms. Benjamin began to cry. The nurse shot Roger a look of surprise and disgust, which Roger didn't see because he had once again taken to staring blankly at the wall, and then she walked away, taking the waling and unwanted baby away.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

_ 54 days after the crash..._

Juliet still wasn't talking to him. When he did see her, which was very rare anyway, she wouldn't so much as look at him. She would bow her head and avert her eyes. If Ben didn't know any better, he would think that she was afraid of him, which wouldn't be a huge surprise. Ben acted as if it didn't bother him, just kept walking, ignoring her as much as she ignored him, and pretended as if it didn't hurt him to see Juliet treating him as if he were dead. He was grateful though that the guilt he felt on her behalf had numbed to nonexistence. Ben really couldn't afford to feel guilt over his decisions. It would never get him anywhere.

Ben groaned in pain, straightened up, and groped at his lower back. He winced. A sharp stab of pain, and another groan. The bouts were becoming more frequent. He heard a shuffle of feet coming down the hall and quickly masked the expression of pain. Just in time too. He picked up a book and pretended to read.

"Dad," his daughter appeared in the doorway, "I'm going now." She turned to leave his office but he stopped her with a question.

"Where are you going?" He placed his book down and took off his glasses.

She hesitated before shrugging. "Just out."

Ben raised his eyebrows and was silent. She seemed to grow uncomfortable under his gaze and she quickly turned to leave. "With Karl?"

She groaned when she heard the very obvious hint of disapproval in his voice. "Please, Dad," she begged, "Can we _not_ do this?"

"Alex, you know how I feel about you going out alone with that boy."

"Dad," she protested with irritation, "I like Karl and he likes me! Can't you just let it go already?" She crossed her arms and frowned angrily at him.

He sighed. "Some day you will understand, but for now you have to trust mr." He was pleading with her to understand and back down respectfully. But this was Alex. He should've known better.

"Trust you?" She scoffed. "Dad, how many people actually trust you on this island?" He didn't answer and she continued. "I'm not a little girl anymore! Maybe it would help if you told me why you don't like Karl." When he still didn't respond, her eyebrows shot up and she groaned in frustration.

Ben watched, feeling useless, as she stormed off and he heard the front door slam shut. And he knew she had disobeyed him. She had gone to see Karl. How could she not see that he just wanted the best for her? That he wanted to give her something that he had never had. A father who actually cared.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

His father walked through the doorway. His shoulders were slumped over, his disgustingly tan workman's outfit was muddy and looking grim. He didn't even look up at his son when he walked through the door. Roger walked right past the dinner that Benjamin had prepared and straight towards the fridge. With his still grimy hands and dirt-stained fingernails, he grabbed two cans of Dharma Beer and made his way to the couch, before unceremoniously plopping down with a groan. Wasting no time at all, Roger opened the can of beer and raised it to his lip, taking a deep gulp of the dark-colored and strong-tasting brew.

Ben didn't know what to do when nights like these came around. His father would drown himself in drunkenness, drowning away all of the hard work of the day and the hard times of the past. Never taking notice of his son, or of the warm meal Ben had taught himself to cook, or the need the son had for a father. Roger Linus didn't care. He _never _cared.

So, he did the one thing he could do. He tried to be as quiet as possible, making next to no noise, intent on not bothering his father. When his father got into these moods –Ben didn't know if his father was in these moods more frequently or if he was just growing old enough to realize them now – Ben didn't like to get in his father's way. Then the abuse would come. Ben grabbed a plate from the cabinet and scooped the pasta and sauce onto it. He had learned so early on, as early as six, how to cook, to make sure that he didn't starve. His father certainly never really fed him anymore. His food still was barely on the verge of edible, but it was food nonetheless. He picked up a fork and a napkin and began walking back to the living room. He was practically tip-toeing. His sneakers were treading so lightly against the floor that all he could hear was the occasional squeak of the rubber against the floor, his own blood drumming in his ears, and the heavy breathing of his father.

When he approached the couch, Ben carefully set the plate of food down on the coffee table and then waited patiently for his father to reach for the food, to acknowledge it..._something_. But nothing.

"Dad?" Ben's voice nearly trembled. He hated to have to wake his father out of his stupor. But he hated, just as much, to see him sitting there and staring at the wall. So, he tried again. "Dad? I made you something to eat."

Roger stirred and his tired eyes fell on his son. "Did you, eh, Ben?" That was all he said and the boy was left wondering what he should say next.

He nodded. "Yeah, and you should really try eating something-"

"You know what I should really try, Benjamin?" His father interrupted and Ben winced. He knew he had said too much. His father was becoming more and more heated, waving his hands about, the beer already beginning its effects on him. "I should try something else. Workman? WORKMAN!" Ben jumped as his father shouted the word. "You know what I was told, Ben? I was told that I would be given a chance here." He laughed bitterly. "I really thought we would have a chance. An actual chance! Well-" he smirked as he downed another gulp of beer, "Remember this, Ben. There are no chances. Nothing ever works out the way you think it will."

"Dad," Ben ventured to continue the conversation. He was shaking inside, but he tried not to show it. "You don't know that. You just have to give this place a chance."

"Didn't I just say there are no chances, boy?!" Roger roared and threw his empty can upon the floor.

"Yes, sir," Ben muttered under his breath. How could his dad think his life was any better here? All that mattered to Roger was how his life had turned into mopping floors and unclogging latrines. He didn't care how his son was coping. Ben was lonely and frustrated. His dad had assured him that things would be better, but that, like everything else his dad had ever promised, had been an absolute lie. So, before he could say anything else that would upset his dad, he turned away and walked back into the kitchen. Taking a tupperware container, he scooped out some of the pasta and then replaced the lid onto it.

By the time he was back in the living room, his dad was deaf to the world, his eyes glazed over and the second can of beer empty and laying on the floor. But he was still conscious enough to notice that his son was making his way to the door. The moment Ben's hand touched the doorknob, his father asked in a low, burly voice, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Out," Ben replied without looking behind him.

Ben ran out the door as quickly as he could and slammed it behind him. As he ran away, the tupperware held tightly in his two hands, he let the tears stream down his nose, his cheeks, his chin. He blinked them away just enough so that he could see where he was going. It was dark outside. There was no moon, and it was the orange glow of the lamps in the other windows that led his way to the swing-set. The swing-set was his place of solace. And he ran to it, as if he were running for his life. But, then he stopped abruptly, for there were two other figures on that swing-set in the dead of night, in the silence. A man and a woman by the looks of it, and there was just enough light to see that they were in a close embrace. The sight made him feel even more lonely. He wished he could have just one person to actually care about him. Well, there was one person who at least _seemed _to care. So, he went to her home.

She had told him where her room was and so he knew what window to go to when he reached her home. Steeling any courage he had left he knocked gently upon its glass. Within seconds a light had turned on and she had come to the window. Her hair was slightly mussed from sleeping, but the moment she pulled back the curtains and saw him standing there she no longer looked the least bit tired. Very slowly and carefully, she unlocked the window and began to slide it up so that her parents could not hear it. Judging from the lights that had been on when Ben had gotten there, her mom and dad were still awake. Regret swarmed in his stomach. He hoped that his foolish decision wouldn't get her in any trouble.

"Ben?" Annie seemed confused at his standing outside of her bedroom window when it was nearly ten o'clock at night. "Are you alright?"

He tried to respond and say that he was fine through a nod, but then he sniffled at the same time that she shifted so that the light could fall on his face. Annie could see the torrent of tears running down his face and her eyebrows crinkled like they always did when she was concerned.

"You're crying," she stated simply, but her voice was definitely worried. "What happened?" Ben didn't answer, he just looked down at his sneakers. Annie looked towards the door to her bedroom and then back at him. "Wait just a minute." He did, not really knowing what she was doing. But the next thing he knew, she was boosting herself up over the sill and climbing out of the window. She had changed out of her cotton pajamas and into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a blue sweatshirt. Her hair had been brushed and pulled back into place too. Taking his hand, she led him away from the house. "C'mon."

They walked for about fifteen minutes, gauging as best as they could where they were through the dark, until they were away from the bungalows and had come to the line of trees bordering the Dharma Initiative. Annie sat down first and rested her back up against the trunk of a tree and motioned for Ben to do the same thing. Once he had, she handed him something that she had been carrying the entire time. When Ben felt it, he noticed that it was one of her sweatshirts. He nodded his head in thanks, although she probably couldn't really see the movement, and then he put his arms through the sleeves and hoisted it onto his back. The island was a warm and humid place, but the nights were definitely chilly. He sunk into its warmth, but he was far from relaxed.

The two sat in silence for many minutes. Every once in awhile, he would sniffle, but everything was absolutely quiet.

"Was it your dad again?" Annie asked. Her voice sounded loud in the silence around them. Ben didn't really have to answer. He knew she knew that his father was the cause. He always was. Had been for the last three months they had been on the island.

Suddenly, she moved to his side and took the sleeve of her sweatshirt in her hand, using it to wipe away the already-dry tears on his freckled face. "You're alright," she cooed softly, calming him down with just her voice. "What was it this time?"

He was quiet and she let him be, knowing that he would speak when he wanted to. And he did. "My dad hates it here. This was supposed to be our chance for a life, and he's ruining it. He always ruins it!"

Annie flinched a bit at the outburst. Ben rarely even spoke, much less shouted. But he looked angry through the dark. And he certainly sounded it. Annie moved her hand to his shoulder. "Do you like it here, Ben?"

He shrugged. "It's not that bad, I suppose."

"You're lying to me."

Ben's head shot up to look at her. How she always knew what was going on through his brain, he would never know. She was only eight, and he was only nine, but she seemed much older than she really was. "How do you know that?"  
"Because you always look sad." Her reply was simple and made very little sense to Ben, but he looked at her again.

"I don't mind being here when you're here." He was absolutely honest. He meant every word that came out of his mouth and he didn't regret it, even though he felt strangely out of his comfort-zone at admitting something so simple and yet so secret. This time Annie didn't say anything, which Ben was grateful for. Instead, she decided it was best to just change the subject.

"What did you bring?" She pointed down to the tupperware container that was laying at his side.

Ben looked at it and then picked it up. "Oh. My dinner."

"You haven't eaten yet?" Her eyes widened and he shook his head. "Well, then, you should. And I'm a little hungry too."

He shook his head. "I'm not a very good cook."

"Well, I doubt that." Annie remarked before taking the container from his hands and peeling back the lid. There was no fork so she stuck two fingers inside and pulled out a macaroni. She popped it into her mouth and chewed. When she was finished, she grinned. "Not a good cook? Ben, this is amazing." She may have been exaggerating slightly, but he still smiled at the compliment. And she smiled in return because she had made him do something that he rarely ever did because Benjamin never smiled. She passed the container and he took out a couple of pieces. The macaroni was cold and slightly sticky, but they ate the entire meal together. By the end, Ben was feeling like himself again. And, just for the heck of it, he gave Annie another smile to thank her when she climbed back through the window of her room.

_**XxxxXXxXXXxxXXxx**_

_** So, what did you think, eh? Please, please, please let me know!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_ **I logged into my email last night to see that I had gotten 1 review and 2 followers. Thanks so much, guys! It may not seem like a lot to you, but to me, it means so very much! **_

_**I hope that I always continue to impress with this story. LOST, in general, is difficult to write for, but I'm going to work hard at it. I figured it was high time I tried something new!**_

_**The song I have chosen to kinda be the theme for this story is:**_

"_**Far From Home" by Five Finger Death Punch.**_

_**Honestly, this song was just written for Ben. Just...sighs.**_

_**So give that a listen when you can!**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_ 56 days after the crash..._

"What do you know about this man?" Ben pointed to a file with the name 'John Locke' stuck to it and proceeded to flip it open for Richard to read.

Richard took the file into his hands and read it, but it was when his eyes fell on the face that he realized he was looking at someone whom he should know, or _had _known, once. "Who is he?" He asked as he handed the manila folder back to Ben.

"His name is John Locke. He crashed here fifty-six days ago."

"Well, that much I can guess, Ben," he said sardonically, "But _who _is he?"

"You met him," the man explained, "You visited him when he was just a little boy..."

Richard's eyes widened with recognition. "John Locke. Of course, now I know. I went to his home when he was...what?...ten years old?"

"I believe you meant to test him to see if he could be the next leader of the island, am I correct?" Richard nodded and Ben smirked. "Obviously, he wasn't the man for the job."

"He's no threat to you," he tried to assure him but Ben only chuckled.

"Believe me, I know that."

Richard rested both elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Then why are you so interested in him?"

"Because, Richard," Ben spoke in a dry, emotionless voice, "John Locke was pushed out of a window and crippled from the chest down. You ask why this is so important... Well, how's this? John Locke flew from Sydney in a wheelchair. Flight 815 crashed. And now, Richard, he can walk." The man's eyes widened with surprise and shock. Ben didn't seem very moved by the information, but Richard was smart enough to know that he was interested enough to bring it up. "Something about him makes this man special, Richard, and I want to find out what."

"What are you planning, then?"

Ben smirked. "I'm going to get him and bring him here. Then, we'll really know _who _this John Locke is."

XXxxXXxx

_ 57 days after the crash..._

If there was one part of the Island that Ben hated it was the jungle. It was sticky with humidity, dirt-filled, sweat-stained, insect-infested, and filled with all manners of infernal creatures making infernal sounds that threatened to break all of Ben's conscience and force him into a state of madness. He would gladly go to any part of the Island if asked, but to enter the jungle took a great deal of coaxing, either that or an amazing amount of motivation. And to Benjamin Linus, the prospect of trapping John Locke and bringing him back to the barracks was all the coaxing and motivation that he needed. To him, this Locke was important, special even, and there were many questions Ben wanted to ask and have answered by this living miracle, this man who had defied the laws of nature. His back had been broken, his legs paralyzed, unable to move, and now he could walk. It caused Ben to marvel, not so much as to how he had survived the fall and come out perfectly healed. The Island was known to do incredible things, but this John Locke could be of great use to Ben in unlocking the deepest and most kept secrets of the Island. That was why he needed this miracle man, and that was why he was suffering the long, sticky, hot, and exhausting trek through the dense jungle.

That's when he realized it. He was far too concerned with his own thoughts. He was too concerned with the mission and he was not focused enough on the trial at hand: getting through the jungle to the beach. Ben could swear. Well, he did swear. Because now he was in a situation that he had no way of getting out of. So caught up in his thoughts, Benjamin Linus, the man with the plan, the man with a head squarely placed on his shoulders, didn't realize the strange pattern of leaves. Had he looked closer he would've seen the trap, but he hadn't. The moment his foot had landed in the exact spot, Ben noticed his error too late, and up he went. A net encased him, about eight feet off the ground, and he was caught. Benjamin Linus was caught like a wild boar. Probably one of Roussaeu's contraptions. _Damn that woman. _

Within minutes, Ben had accepted the fact that there was nothing he could do. He didn't carry guns. He didn't carry knives to cut the ropes. He was left hanging, swinging back and forth until even that movement stopped. So, he waited. Someone would come eventually. Whether it was Roussaeu checking up on her catch of the day or someone else who had strayed too far from the beach, someone would come, and then they would cut him down. And once Ben was safely planted on the ground once again, he would be able to defeat anyone who came up against him. Even an insane French woman or a frightened victim of a plane crash. Then, he would find John Locke. Sure, this might be a disturbance, a small set-back, but give it a day, maybe a day and a half, and he would be right back on track.

Ben settled himself in the net casing and tried to get as comfortable as was humanly possible. The rope bit into his back and chafed his legs, but he sat down nonetheless. To anyone watching, it would appear that he wasn't even really trapped in a net suspended eight feet off the ground because Ben was cool, collected, and normal, as he always was. He pretended that the humidity didn't leave his throat parched and dry. He ignored the fact that the pesky little gnats were beginning to fly. He just shut his eyes and he waited. Listening. Not moving. Barely breathing. Always thinking.

That was what he did.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Why don't you talk, Ben?"

He turned his neck so that he could see her and then shrugged. "I like this better."  
"What?"

"Thinking."

Annie moved closer to him and he forced himself to open his eyes and listen to her instead of tuning her out. He always tried his best never to tune her out. "What do you think about?"

"A lot of things," he explained patiently, "I think about school, about how the teacher should've written 'a-squared' instead of just 'a'."

She giggled beside him and knocked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You _would_ be the one to correct the teacher."

"She was wrong! I couldn't help it!" Ben defended. Annie just giggled all the more.

"What else do you think about?"  
Ben smiled slightly. "I think about the Island."

"What about the Island?"

"I think about all of the smells and the tastes. About the color of the sunset. The trees. And the smell of the air. Can't you smell it?" He asked as he threw his head back and inhaled. Annie did the same, just glad to actually be able to get him to talk like this. She doubted she had ever heard him talk this much in just one sitting. In just five months on the Island, Ben was beginning to grow more and more comfortable around her.

So, she just smiled and sniffed. "Smell what?"

"It smells like warmth and sunshine and coconut. Yes, I think it smells like coconut. Do you smell it?" She nodded and he grinned. "I like that smell."

"Me too." She inhaled again and relaxed. They were sitting in the shade of the trees, their homework forgotten in the beauty of the nature and in the comfort of their friendship. When Ben was around her, he truly felt like he had a friend. Annie looked at him and realized he had become quiet again. Thinking. Never stopped thinking. Her voice was quiet, as if she feared to disturb him again. "What are you thinking about now?"

Ever so slowly, Ben opened his eyes and turned to look at her. There was no trace of a smile. His eyes were sad and Annie swallowed, wondering if she had said something wrong. But Ben just simply answered with two words, two words that made her heart lurk for him. "My mom."

Not a day went by when Benjamin Linus didn't miss his mom. It left him wondering how he could miss someone so much that he had never even met. But to Ben, it was the very fact that he hadn't known her that made his heart ache all the more. Every young boy needed his mother. They needed the comfort, the warmth, the love, and the care of a mother, and Ben had never ever had that.

"Where is your mom, Ben?" Annie asked softly. It was a question, not bred of curiosity, but rather, it was asked out of concern.

Ben spoke and he choked on the word, one small, four-letter word that always left him ready to sob when he thought of it. "Dead." He was nine years old. He shouldn't cry. His father would always just tell him to toughen up. But how could he when it had been his own mother who had died? "She died giving birth to me. I was early." He didn't cry, that much he was proud of. But his throat burned as he forced back the sobs and his eyes blinked fast in the hopes of preventing any tears from falling down.

"I'm so sorry, Ben." Annie scooted closer to him so that she could wrap her arms around his shoulders, but he shoved her away.

"It was my fault."

Her eyes widened with shock. "No, it wasn't. How could you say that?"

"My dad says it was."Annie gasped. She knew Ben's father was an awful man, but how could he ever say such a thing? "That's why he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Ben," she argued, but even as the words left her mouth, she doubted how much truth was in them. Did Mr. Linus really hate his son?

Ben shrugged and forced himself to sit up straight. "Yeah, he does. We never even celebrate my birthday because that's the day my mom died."

"No birthdays?" Annie asked sadly. How awful it had to be to never even have a birthday. She wrapped her arms around him again and this time he didn't push her off. He was rigid for a moment before he finally relaxed and hugged her back. He sighed as he started to feel better. "When's your birthday, Ben?"

"December 19th." His voice was muffled by her shoulder.

"That's in only eight days."

"So?"  
She smiled. "So," she answered as she released him, "I promise I won't forget."

Ben was doubtful. Everyone always forgot his birthday and he had always been left to celebrate alone. Not that he had ever celebrated. Most often, his birthday had ended with a tirade of verbal abuse from his father before Ben would run into his bedroom, slam and lock the door behind him, and cry himself to sleep. He doubted Annie would remember something that no one else could seem to. But, then again, she never ceased to surprise him.

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_** Hope you loved it!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_** Thanks for the response so far, ya'll! And I honestly think I'm gonna have to watch through the entire series of LOST again, cause I had to look up some of the script online to remember certain scenes for today. Not that I'm complaining. ;) The only thing I have to complain about is that Ben doesn't come in until the middle of the second season...:)**_

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Ben wasn't sleeping. His eyes were just closed and he was listening closely. That's when he heard it. The snap of a twig. About forty feet away it sounded like. Then, there was another snap. The rustle of leaves. He smirked. Someone was coming to retrieve him. It was time to hop into action.

He had been hanging up in the trap for what must have been six hours, judging by the sun's travel in the sky. In that time, he had had plenty of time to come up with a plan. To him, it was seamless. Richard would notice his absence within two days. Then, he and Tom would figure out a plan. All Ben had to do was hold out for a couple of days and he would be fine. And he would have more than he had even come for. This could turn out even more wonderful than he had originally planned.

So, he boosted himself up until he was sitting on his knees, which was an incredibly uncomfortable position considering he was trapped inside a crudely-made net. He gripped the ropes hard between his fingers until his knuckles turned white. Acting came naturally to Ben because acting, to him, was just like lying. And Ben was perfect at lying and manipulation, everyone knew that. He tried to look as scared as he possibly could. His brows furrowed, his eyes widened, and he looked towards the sound. "Help me! Hey, somebody here!" Ben shouted at the top of his lungs. He added a little shake to his voice and was impressed that he actually sounded genuinely frightened. "Help!" Either Rousseau was about to walk through that patch of brush or a survivor of the crash. Either way, he was curious. And surprised, because he saw both. Danielle was leading the way. She looked old, much older than he remembered. Right behind her was the Iraqi man. Sayid Jarrah. Ben had read his file. "Hey! Hey, over here! Please help me!"

"Don't believe a word he says," Danielle ordered Sayid. Ben had expected this. After all, she might recognize him as the man who stole her child sixteen years ago. And, even if she was too insane to remember him, she would most definitely think he was the enemy. "He's one of them."

Ben argued back, "I have no idea what she's talking about. She's crazy." He was looking at Sayid, his eyes pleading with him to offer him aid.

Sayid turned to Rousseau. "How long has he been up there?"

"Since last night," Ben answered. "Please, just cut me down." He gripped the ropes harder. "My name is Henry Gale. I'm from Minnesota. Please." Henry Gale was the perfect alias, Ben knew. That's why he had chosen him. A dead man's name was always the best.

"He's lying," Danielle protested and Ben had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He knew that the woman would be difficult, but, quite honestly, he just wanted to be let down. He had had quite enough of swinging from coarse ropes.

To his relief, Sayid pulled out his knife and stepped forward. "I'm going to cut him down."

He could see the warning in the woman's eyes as she said, "Don't."

For good measure, Ben took on a pitiful expression and his eyes lit up with inexpressable gratitude. "Thank you." He knew that politeness, at the very least, would earn him some points with the Iraqi.

"You're making a serious mistake." Honestly. He had no grudge against the insane French woman, but couldn't she just shut up?!

But, thankfully, Sayid chose not to listen to her protests. He slowly walked up to the net and began to saw through the rope with his knife. Ben braced himself for the hard impact he knew would come, and then the rope snapped and he fell to the ground with an _umph!_ Sayid knelt beside him and began to help him remove the ropes. "It's okay, it's okay," he reassured Ben, "You're alright. Hold on. Take it easy."

That's when Ben turned his head to look at Rousseau and saw that she was loading the crossbow in her hands. His eyes widened in fear, as he was sure Henry Gale's would have, and then he took off running, knowing that he wouldn't get very far. He waited for the piercing pain to come and when the arrow was finally fired from the crossbow and embedded in his flesh, he let out a cry and fell to the ground.

"You could have killed him!" He heard Sayid yell as he ran over to him.

"If I had wanted to kill him, I would have killed him." Luckily, the arrow had only hit his shoulder. It would heal within the next couple of days. And with Jack being amongst the survivors, Ben was confident that the doctor would nurse the wound quite nicely.

Sayid continued to argue with the woman. "You shot this man with no provocation."

"He is one of them," Danielle insisted. Honestly, Ben was glad that Sayid was making a case for him, but the arguing was already getting on his nerves. Six hours in a net had left him sore, thirsty, tired, and with a pounding headache. Not to mention that now his shoulder hurt like hell. "Tie him up," Danielle insisted, "You should take him to your doctor. He's no good to you dead."

_I'm really no good to you alive, either,_ Ben mused inwardly. The irony of it all nearly made him smirk. Instead, he just groaned in pain as Sayid moved his arms to his back and began tying his wrists together. "And then what?" The Iraqi asked.

"You talk to him, Sayid. As I recall that is what you do. But know this – he will lie – a long time. He will lie."

This was interesting to Ben. It seemed that she did know him...or at least seemed to know all about_ them_. Maybe she did recognize him. But then why hadn't she just told her story to Sayid? Ben desperately tried to find an answer, but then his mind went black and he thought no more.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben sat on the swing set again, letting his legs dangle. It was nearly four in the afternoon. And it was his birthday. December 19th. The fateful day. He had tried not to get his hopes up about seeing Annie that day, but he just couldn't help it. The idea that perhaps someone would actually remember such a day that, to every other child, is a momentous occasion, a day of celebrations and parties and laughter and fun, was too much to suppress. But now he was beginning to see that he had been foolish once again. There was no Annie and he was, once again, all alone. Ben sighed and just sat there. He wasn't swinging, he was barely moving. And his head dangled as he looked down at the ground.

"Why the long face?" Ben's ears instantly perked up. It couldn't be...could it? When he looked up and saw her there, his face nearly beamed. She had come after all and in her hand was a box, wrapped in brightly colored paper. She sat down on the swing beside him. "It's your birthday, after all."

"You remembered?" Ben nearly choked on his own words. His throat felt as if sand had been poured down it. He was absolutely speechless.

She opened her mouth in mock disbelief. "I promised I would, didn't I? Did you think I would break my promise?" Ben just smiled at her and watched as she handed him the gift. "Happy Birthday, Ben!"

He had to make an extra hard effort not to immediately start ripping apart the paper. He never got gifts. The excitement was almost too much to bear. His heart thumped with anticipation. Ben did believe this was the first birthday present he had ever received. When he pulled out the gift, he was stunned and speechless. There were two dolls, hand carved and painted, one a boy and one a girl.

Annie took the boy in her own hands and then explained. "It's us. That's you and that's me." Ben looked down at the 'Annie doll' in his hands. "Now we never have to be away from each other. Happy birthday, Ben."

He was speechless this time. His fingers gently trailed the crude carving of the doll. To think that Annie had spent so much time making something just for him. Ben knew right then and there, as he said a small and quiet thank you, that he would cherish this gift more than he would ever cherish anything else in the whole world.

"You're welcome," she replied sweetly and Ben smiled at her. This was the _truly _best birthday he had ever had.

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_** I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know it seems slow moving right now, but we're getting there. And I am SO enjoying writing these flashback! This is so much fun!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_** Hope everyone is having a very wonderful week! I apologize for not putting this up last night, but I got real busy with watching Doctor Who and Person of Interest...and I couldn't stoppppp!**_

_** Person of Interest...if you have not watched it...please. **_

_** Do.**_

_** Now.**_

_** It's simply amazing!**_

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Upon arriving in a darkened room filled with computers that Ben immediately recognized as the Swan, he couldn't help but smirk. He had only assumed that the survivors had been waiting on the beach. Now they had set up shop, so to speak, in one of the old Dharma buildings. Ben had to admit he was impressed that they had even found it. It had _had _to have been like Christmas to them. Running water. Books upon books. Plenty of food. Even music. And, of course, that odious button. Yeah, Ben knew about the button.

Sayid had unceremoniously dropped him onto the concrete floor. Ben had groaned in pain. A few minutes later, he had met Jack, the doctor. He had helped to stitch him up. And, then he had met John Locke. Ben was amazed. There was no sign of the previous paralysis, not even a limp. He had masked the amazement with the very real pain he had been feeling from his wound. They had been very curious. Asked him many questions about who he was and how he had come to the Island. He had answered each and every one of them with a lie. So far, everything was going wonderfully.

And then they had shoved him into what appeared to have once been an armory, all of the weapons and ammunition removed, of course. It would seem they had every intention of keeping him locked up until they found out whether or not he was telling the truth. He already knew that they didn't trust him. They were suspicious. Ben was anxiously awaiting finding out what methods they planned to use to get the truth from him, truth which he knew he would never give up. His alias was Henry Gale. He had crashed on the island four months ago. He had the proof, should they question him. He was just here to gather as much intel as he could. Richard and Tom would get him out soon enough. Probably a week or two. It would take them that long to come up with a good enough plan. But they were clever, nearly as clever as he, so he wasn't worried. The tricky part would be getting John to come with them after he was rescued. That was one part of the plan that Ben still needed to work out.

But now was not the time. The door to the armory swung open to reveal Sayid. His brown skin shone with sweat. His curly black hair hung limply to his shoulders. He walked up to Ben with confidence and grabbed his shoulder. Ben flinched as if he were frightened.

"Here, let me help you," Sayid said kindly enough, as he lifted Ben into a sitting position. "You said you've been here for four months?"  
Now came the hard part. Ben had to put away his clever, sly persona and become something he wasn't: a frightened, and dim-witted survivor of a crash. So, he asked, as if slightly confused, "What?"

"You said you came to this island 4 months ago, yes?" Sayid explained.

"Where am I?"

Sayid replied with a bit more force. "Please just answer my question."

'Henry' nodded. "Yes, we landed four months ago. Maybe more. Who are you?"

"And you were in a cave all this time?"

Ben shook his head and lied some more. "Off the beach on the North shore of the Island."

"How far from this beach to where you were captured?" Ben felt vaguely as if he were like a criminal on trial, being asked intricate questions with just as detailed answers. Sayid was practically waiting for him to slip up somewhere along the way.

But how would this Henry Gale really know how far away from the beach he really was? He was scared, grieved, and exhausted. So, Ben gave the answer he felt was most believable. "I don't know."

"How many days' walk?"

He pretended to think. Of course, he knew how far a walk. But Henry would have a harder time remembering. "Two – two days."

"Why did you stay on the beach for so long?"  
Ben let just a little bit of his true self shine through as he scoffed at such a question. "Why wouldn't we? We wanted to be there for fly-overs. We had an emergency beacon, a transmitter."

Sayid was relentless with his questions, and detailed. Ben could honestly tell that this man had once been a part of the Republican Guard. He had been trained well. "What kind of transmitter?"

"And ADF beacon. We wanted to make sure we'd be spotted." Ben decided that now would be the best time to defend his –er, Henry Gale's – position. "Look, whatever you think I am, I'm not. Please, please just...tell me your name?"

His eyes were trying to plead with Sayid to be merciful, to show him some kind of kindness. But Sayid's eyes remained emotionless and careless. He didn't care how pitiful this Henry Gale was trying to be. He _still _didn't believe him. Perhaps, these people were smarter than Ben had originally given them credit for. Sayid decided to change tactics as well. "Your wife, what is her maiden name?"

"Murphy."

"Where did you meet her?"

"University of Minnesota."

"How did she die?" The question came cold and bitter. Sayid still didn't care. He seemed to be trying to invoke some kind of emotion of grief or sadness out of Henry and so Ben complied. He showed shock in his eyes. Henry would surely be thinking how dare he ask such a question?

His voice trembled a bit. "She got sick."

"Sick?" Sayid questioned.

Ben nodded his head and looked down at the ground. "It started as a fever. After 2 days she was delirious. Then she died." He chuckled in a way that was both bitter and weak. "I don't know why you're asking me all these questions. I don't know why you're treating me this way - why I have to explain to you who I am when you don't tell me who you are."

Ben felt success as he saw the man's face shift just a bit. He saw a bit of the hard mask of the Iraqi falling. Just a bit of the true Sayid Jarrah was peeking through and he knew, that in a way, he had won. This man was going to tell him who he was. But, little by little, as he spoke, shivers began running down Ben's spine. This man's voice was cold. Calculating. And still emotionless. Ben wasn't frightened, but he was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable. He could sense that Sayid was holding something back, some kind of torrent of emotions. That was highly unsettling prospect. "I was 23 years old when the Americans came to my country. I was a good man. I was a soldier. And when they left, I was something different. For the next 6 years I did things I wish I could erase from my memory - things which I never thought myself to be capable of. But I did come to learn this - there was a part of me which was always capable. You want to know who I am? My name is Sayid Jarrah, and I am a torturer."

Sayid looked at him, his eyes never blinking. Ben stared back, never before had anyone been able to look into his eyes for very long before feeling insanely uncomfortable, but Sayid was. And eventually Ben had to look away because he knew that Henry Gale would never be able to keep up the nerve to continue the staring contest.

He felt the satisfaction radiating off of Sayid and he looked back up at him. "Tell me about your balloon."

"What?" So they were right back to the questions.

"This balloon that you brought here with your wife. Tell me about it."

Ben nodded his head before taking on a wistful expression, as if he were remembering something that was so perfect and yet so long ago. "She's 140 feet high, 60 feet wide. And when she's up in the air 550,000 cubic feet of helium and a 100,000 of hot air keep her up. And if you could look down on her you'd see a big yellow smiley face on top."

"Why would you travel that way?"

He shrugged. "Because I was rich. Because...it was my dream. And Jennifer thought it would be neat." Jennifer. The name of his 'wife'.

Sayid furrowed his brows. "You 'were' rich?"

Ben only smirked. "I guess I'm thinking of things in the past tense now. How's that for optimism?"

Sayid then began to question him about his wealth and about his employment. Ben answered the questions right back, never once hesitating. He knew his facts, his story. No matter what Sayid asked, Ben came back with yet another question, until finally Sayid said somethign very strange and very puzzling.

"Give me your hands." When Ben hesitated, he shouted again, "Give me your hands!"

Ben complied and Sayid gripped them hard. He then produced a pair of pliers from behind his back and put them around one of Ben's fingers. Ben tried not to flinch. He knew that this particular means of torture would hurt like hell.

"Where is she buried?"

That was one question Ben had not been expecting. "What?"

"Listen to me." Sayid's voice was urgent. "You said you buried your wife. Tell me where."

Ben looked down at his hands, like he guessed Henry would have, and pretended to avoid the question at all costs. He honestly had no idea how to answer these questions. For the first time, he was untreaded ground. "What are you going to...?" He asked about the pliers.

"WHERE?!" Sayid was quickly losing any patience that he had. Ben licked his lips.

"In the jungle, by the balloon. In the jungle." His voice became like a whimper. He pretended to be frightened of what he very well knew Sayid was capable of.

Sayid brought the pliers closer to their destination. "How deep? How deep did you dig the grave?"

"I don't – it was..." Ben was slowly beginning to panic. The pliers were coming closer. He didn't fear pain, but Sayid's eyes were slowly becoming more manic. This was not the calm Iraqi soldier he had known.

"How deep?" The man pressed. "How many shovel fulls of earth? Did you use your hands? How long did it take you?!" Ben now noticed that this was not about the quesitoning. Sayid was having a mental and physical breakdown. Already, he could see the tears brimming in his eyes. Something had happened. He was losing control. And a man who was losing control was always the most dangerous. Ben tried to pull back his hand, but Sayid held it tighter and tigether, cutting off the circulation.

He choked on his next words, starting to feel frightened for his sudden predicament. He doubted anyone would come for him. "I don't remember." He figured that that was the safest answer he could give. He was wrong.

With a shove, Sayid had pushed away his hand. "You would remember! You would remember how deep! You would remember every shovelful, every moment! You would remember what it felt like to place her body inside. You would remember if you buried the woman you loved! You would remember - if it were true!"

Ben took on the best pitying look he could give. His voice sounded caring. It was soft. He was trying his very best to calm the man down. "Did you - did you lose someone? Did you lose someone here on the Island? Did you lose someone, too? What happened to her?"

"It was an accident. It was an accident." Sayid was breaking down now, and he was crying. Ben hated weakness, but in this one instance, he could, perhaps just a bit, understand. He had lost someone too. But that didn't make him feel any pity for this man...this giant of a man brought down because of _love_. "The woman responsible thought she was someone else - someone coming to hurt her - someone like you!" Sayid was coming closer.

Ben desperately tried to crawl away, but he was tied down. There was no way he was going anywhere. He tried to defend himself. "Just, just... This is all a mistake. Slow down here, okay. Hurting me isn't going to bring her back."

But Sayid was long past listening to reason. He was feeling all of the anger, the sorrow, the grief, and the misunderstanding. Nothing Ben could say anymore would help him. He was helpless as Sayid pounced on him and began to beat him hard. Not just in the face, but all over.

"You know what I lost! Tell me how long!" Punch after punch after punch.

Ben's hands were tied. He couldn't defend himself. He couldn't block the blow. But he begged for the man to stop. "No, no! Help! Help me!" Why couldn't anyone hear him? Why was no one coming to his rescue? He doubted Jack would just stand-by and let this lunatic beat him to a pulp. Sayid refused to listen to his pleas.

"Tell me who you are!" But Ben wouldn't, and so the beatings continued. The blood ran down his nose. His eyes were already terribly sore. Sayid laid a blow to his ribs and Ben cried out in pain that he couldn't hide. He just shut his eyes tight and bore the pain. He bore the madness. After all, it had not been the first time he had been beaten.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

School was out and Ben was glad. He liked school, but today he couldn't wait for the teacher to tell them that school was out. It was springtime and he hated to be cooped up inside learning about numbers and literary analysis when he could be outside. He and Annie had made it a habit of theirs, as soon as school was let out, to walk down the road aways and then turn off into the tall green grass where they would walk until they came to a small burrow that they had made. A little "house" made of sticks and leaves. It wasn't made very well, but, then again, it had only taken them a couple hours to make it.

"Ready?" Somehow, Annie had made it outside before him. She had her books under one arm, and the other was waving at him.

"Yep, let's go." They turned to talk down the road but Ben could sense that someone was following them. "I think someone in school fancies you."

Annie looked at him and frowned. "Who?"

"Drew McCallister." For some reason, Ben burned when he said the name. He wondered if he could possibly be jealous. "He's always looking at you. And he's following us."

Annie looked over her shoulder and then back on the road. She made a face. "I don't care. Drew's a spoiled brat."

"I would heartily agree. But he still likes you."

"What's it matter to you, Ben?"

He was taken aback by the question and began to stutter. "Well...nothing...I just...uhh.." And that was as comprehendable as the fourteen year old could be. He had been on the Island for nearly five years. Annie had just turned thirteen, and she was still his best friend. He wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world. She had once said that the women of the Initiative teased her about spending too much time with him. And Horace had even said something to him. It would seem everyone assumed that just because they, a boy and a girl, spent nearly every day together that there had to be some romantic connection. Ben just didn't understand it.

His thoughts were broken by a voice behind him. "Hey. Linus." It was Drew calling him.

Ben turned around, hesitatingly, wondering what the boy could want. They had never spoken a word to each other before now. "Yes?" He tried to keep his voice from shaking. It wasn't that Ben was frightened frequently, but Drew was at least two inches taller than him and heavier-set. There was muscle. Too many times he had gotten into fights with other boys in the school. Ben couldn't help but think that he was going to be next.

Drew sauntered up to him and flashed a handsome grin at Annie. "Perhaps this pretty girl would like to spend time with someone else for the day?"

"Excuse me, but this 'pretty gir'l has a name, and she's just fine right here," Annie bit back hotly, clearly indignant.

The boy just shrugged and ignored her. "She spends all her time with you, Linus. Wanna tell me why?"

Ben didn't speak. He just stared at Drew, fearing what he was planning to do. No one ever got in Drew's way, and judging by the way the boy was looking at him now, he had somehow done something to get Drew angry.

Annie spoke up instead. "I spend time with Ben because I prefer his company."

"Hear that?" Drew mocked. "She enjoys your company. What I can't understand, though, is why? It's not like your anything special. You don't talk. You don't _do _anything."

"He talks to me!" She proclaimed with digust.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, doll. I'm talking to Linus here." The way he talked to Annie made Ben furious, but he was too frightened to do anything. "So, why, huh, _Ben_? You gotta wonder why such a pretty girl spends time with...you. Maybe she would like you better if you didn't have these on." With that, Drew ripped the glasses from Benjamin's face and threw them on the ground, before crushing them under the heel of his sneaker. Annie gasped and Ben bit his lipe to keep from crying. His dad would be furious about the broken glasses that had already cost so much. But Drew just taunted all the more. "No, I was wrong. You still look the same. Tell me, _Annie_. What do you see in a guy like him?"  
"Why you -" But before she could do anything else, Ben had lunged at the boy and had tackled him to the ground. Within minutes every boy and girl had run to the scene of the fight and were shouting, most of them for Drew. Within seconds, Drew had flipped Ben from underneath him and now was on top of him, laying blow after blow.

"You stay away from her, ya hear?!" Drew screamed at him. "She was your girl before, but she deserves someone better!" Blow after blow, Ben tried to defend himself and he tried to get up, but Drew was firmly planted on him. Ben cried out in pain and terror. Through the drumming in his ears and the shouts of the other children he could hear Annie screaming his name.

He saw her reach out and grab Drew by the shoulders. "Drew! Drew! Stop it!" But the boy didn't comply. Annie cried. There was nothing she could do. There was nothing Ben could do. Drew just continued to punch and kick. The blows must have only lasted for about two to three minutes, before the teacher ran out and grabbed Drew and flung him back enough to make him stop. But, to Ben, it felt much longer. And he moaned and groaned in pain.

"Ben?" He thought it was Annie at first, but it wasn't. It was the teacher reaching down to help him sit up. "Ben, are you alright?" He tried to nod but the action hurt too much. "You stay here. I'll get the doctor."

"No." He croaked out. "I don't want the doctor." He had already been humiliated enough.

"But Benjamin -" The woman protested but Ben shook his head.

"Please?" He begged pitifully. The teacher looked doubtful, but that's when Annie stepped in.

She came and kneeled beside him. "I'll take him back to my house, Miss Pole. I can take care of him just fine. If you would like that better, Ben?"

Ben looked up at her through his bruised eyelids and nodded. "Yes."

"Alright, Annie." The teacher conceded. "Use plenty of peroxide to clean the wounds. And bandage them real good."

She nodded. "I will. Come on, Ben." Annie helped him stand up and then she held his arm as she led him to her house.

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_** Thank you to all who have favorited, followed, and reviewed! Please leave me a little note, telling me what you thought. It's the best type of encouragement there is :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_** Sorry it's been a few days. It's been a very busy few days. Anyways, a lot happens in this chapter, so I hope you like it! Don't forget to review and let me know that you think! Thanks, all of you guys!**_

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_Seven days later..._

It had been a very long week, but Ben still would've said it hadn't been long enough. There had been so much more he could have done. He had gotten _so close _to establishing a friendship, albeit an uneasy one, with Locke. Granted, he had had to save him from the very real danger of an imploding hatch before Locke had even considered trusting him. But Ben _had _made progress, only for it to be completely blow up in his face. He hadn't given Sayid enough credit, he hadn't known how far the man would go to discredit the story of "Henry Gale". Needless to say, the Iraqi had gone far enough to completely throw Ben's alias out of the window. They _knew _he wasn't who he had originally said he was, but they didn't know who he _really_ was either. He had barely spoken a word after Sayid had revealed the fact that he was not the crashed ballooner from Minnesota. They had unceremoniously thrown him back into his 'cell' and locked the door. All Ben had to be grateful for at that point had been that they had chosen not to tie him down. He still had the rope burns around his wrist from his first days as their prisoner, and he didn't need them getting any worse.

But now, there was no need to worry about any of that because he was _free. _Absolutely free. Richard and Tom had truly come through for him, just as he had known they would. The idea of using Walt as a hostage to essentially get his father Michael to do anything that they wanted was simple and brilliant at the same time. They had done exactly what he would have done. Ben couldn't be more proud of them. Not that he could really be focused on his good fortune at the moment.

Michael had set him free. The glorious thing was that he didn't know where Ben was headed, so he wouldn't squeal. And they still had Walt, so Michael wouldn't be able to afford to tell the truth anyway. Ben was free and on his own, traveling through the jungle. But he knew the jungle like the back of his hand. He knew where the Swan Hatch was situated and so he knew where to go; but if Ben could guess, someone would come to collect him, which was something he wasn't going to protest. Quite frankly, Ben was exhausted, sore, and famished. And his back was absolutely _killing _him. Sharp pains caused by his tumor. But he didn't stop. He just kept walking at a very fast pace, praying that Rousseau wouldn't find him before one of his own did.

"Ben." He turned around so fast that he nearly tripped on his already weak legs. He was relieved when Richard came out from behind a tree. "You being followed?"

Ben shook his head, clearly out of breath. He bent over and placed his hands on his knees. "They're a little occupied at the moment."

"So, Dawson pulled through, then?"

Ben nodded. "Just as you planned. Quite a brilliant plan, if I might say so, Richard. My thanks." He held out a hand for the man to shake, but, instead, Richard placed a handgun into Ben's empty palm.

"Just in case," the man explained before turning around and leading Ben back through the jungle. "By the way," Richard called over his shoulder with a humorous smirk, "You look like hell."

"I feel like it too." Ben called back, utterly relieved to be back within the company of one of his own.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Mom? Dad? Anyone home?" Annie called as she opened the front door to her bungalow. There was no answer and so she led Ben into the living area. He was still leaning on her shoulder, but he didn't seem to be leaning on her as much as he could, as if he feared being too heavy for her and crushing her under his weight. "Looks like no one's home, Ben." She helped him sit down on the couch.

"Good." His voice was slightly muffled by his split lip. Annie couldn't help but flinch when she saw the black, blue, and bloodied face of her friend. She didn't think much of anything else hurt. When she pressed her hand to his chest, he winced slightly. His ribs must have been slightly bruised. She doubted it was anything too serious. Nothing else seemed really injured. But one of his eyes was almost completely swelled shut, a bloody nose, a split lip, and a mottle of bruises all along the sides of his face.

She stepped away then. "You wait here. I think the peroxide is in the bathroom." He nodded and watched as she walked down the hall and disappeared.

Ben felt awful. He felt sore all over. He doubted the rest of his body was seriously injured, but he could barely move his face and one of his eyes was swelled so badly to the point that he couldn't see out of it anymore.

Annie returned with the bottle of peroxide, a washcloth, and some white bandages. "Mom always keeps a first aid kit in the house," she explained. Then, she handed him a second washcloth that she had soaked with ice cold water. "Put this on your eye." Ben did as she said and just watched as she sat down on the couch beside him and prepared the cloth with the peroxide. She sighed and grabbed his chin gently. "This might sting a little."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"So, did they find out who you are?" Richard asked as he trampled through the underbrush that was becoming more and more thick.

"Of course they didn't, Richard," Ben retorted, somewhat offended. "But I don't think we'll be able to use the alias 'Henry Gale' anymore."

Richard stopped and Ben did the same thing. For once, the man actually looked slightly concerned. "What did they do to you?"

Ben scoffed. "Let's just say, I'm thinking those people are starting to believe that having an Iraqi torturer on their side has its benefits."

Richard furrowed his brow. "Ben? How bad did—with your condition-"

"It's no matter. What matters is that we still have work to do, Richard. And with my condition, we just need to work harder and faster."

"For what?"

Ben looked at him. "I need Jack Shephard."

Before Richard could say anything else, there was a disturbance heard. The very slight, but recognizable sound of a stick snapping. Very close. Probably no more than ten feet away. Someone was there, listening to them. Ben had half a mind to think that Rousseau must have found him again, but he doubted it. If it was Rousseau, she would have already come out from hiding. She wasn't much for stealth. He looked over at Richard and raised a finger to his mouth, probably useless since whoever was out there had already heard them. There was no way Ben could duck behind a tree in time. He knew any sudden movements would probably trigger an attack from the imposter. Instead, he slowly used his finger to unlock the safety on his gun. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Richard do the same thing.

They waited for several seconds, but they didn't hear anything, nothing but the sound of their breathing. Perhaps Ben's nerves were finally catching up with him in his fatigued state of mind. Perhaps there was really nothing there at all. But Ben remained alert, his shoulders tense and his fingers ready to lift the gun and shoot if he had to.

But for all of his alertness, he was still not fast enough. All of the sudden he heard the click of a rifle, so close to his ear, and he felt the smooth metallic of it on his neck. Richard noticed too late. He raised his gun at the newcomer, but quickly dropped it. Something the stranger had done had made him do so. Then, Ben heard a voice. "Drop it. Drop your gun." The voice was unmistakeably female. Ben didn't hesitate and the gun fell to the jungle floor. "Turn around," the voice commanded again. He did so, his hands raised in the air and his shoulders tense.

When he looked upon the woman for the first time, he was surprised. For years, he had thought Rousseau was the only woman living alone in the jungle. Apparently, he had been wrong. But there was something so disconcerting about this woman. She looked vaguely familiar, but to Ben, he couldn't see passed the tattered and worn clothing, the grimy and mud-covered face, and the red hair that was ratted and dirty. That red hair. There was something so familiar about it. But the eyes were too sad, too dark, and too distant. They looked hollow and empty. The most disconcerting thing of all. This woman looked haunted.

Her face was hard as she spoke two words that chilled him to the bone. "Hello, Ben."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben winced as the peroxide came into contact with his split lip.

Annie frowned. "I'm sorry."

He tried to smile but it hurt too much. It was more of a grimace than anything else. "Not like it's your fault, Annie. Not much ever is."

"That's not true," she giggled. "I'm not perfect, you know."

He shrugged as she tilted his head to the side so that she could clean a cut over his eye. "I bet you think I'm an idiot for fighting him, don't you?"

"I think it was a very brave thing of you to do, Ben." He winced again. "Sorry."

"I'm not brave at all," he protested.

Annie frowned. "Yes, you are." She poured some more peroxide onto the cloth and dabbed at a few smaller cuts and scrapes he had sustained. "The way you stood up to Drew today -"

"I had to. I wasn't gonna let him talk to you like that."

"-and you have to stand up to your dad every single day, Ben. You are _so_ brave. You stay there instead of running away."

Ben swallowed. "Where would I run, Annie? I've got nowhere to go." He knew that that was somewhat of a lie. He knew that Richard would take him in if it was absolutely necessary. But Ben had been told he had to wait patiently, and he was going to. Annie still didn't know about all of that. "I have nowhere to hide."

"You don't need to hide." Annie dropped the cloth and just looked up at him for several seconds. "Benjamin Linus, I think you are the bravest boy I've ever met."

Ben just stared at her. How could she say such a thing? He had always found himself to be a coward, always frightened, and never able to defend himself against any abuse thrown at him. His father trampled on him and Drew had nearly pummeled him to a pulp, and yet Annie still believed he was brave. He just watched her, wondering what was going on inside her head. She hadn't looked away. Ben was very aware of her hand on top of his wrist, of the closeness, the warmth. His heart thumped. He had never been this close to her, and she had never been this quiet before.

He watched and inwardly panicked as she moved closer and closer to him. Just thirteen and fourteen years old. Ben didn't know what to do or how to act, so he just sat perfectly still. And then, ever so slowly, her lips touched his.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Hello, Ben."

His brows furrowed, his hands were still up in the air. "Who are you?" And how did she know his name?

The woman shook her head. The rifle in her hands was still pointing at him and it was menacingly close to his face. "I'm no one. Not anymore."

"May I ask what that means?"

"By my recollection, Ben, you're pretty smart. So, figure it out."

Now he was more confused than ever. Unless this woman was very mad, madder than Danielle, this woman knew who she was and, more importantly, who _he_ was. "I'm sorry. Do I – do I _know _you?"

That caused her to scoff. "I'm really surprised, Ben. You'd think you'd remember someone who's life you ruined."

"I've ruined a lot of lives," he dead-panned.

"Oh, I know all about the lives you've ruined." Whatever Ben had just said seemed to spark some kind of anger within her. Her otherwise dark and empty eyes flashed with unadulterated hate. The gun still pointed at him, but in her anger, her hands began to shake. Ben was becoming slightly nervous. Being around a woman who was, potentially, insane, and who was obviously angry at him, to the point of physically shaking, was never a safe situation. Much less when that woman had a gun. He slowly began to lower his arms, even as her voice steadily grew louder. "I know how you murdered your own people, Ben, in cold blood! They were a peaceful people who trusted you and you killed them all..."

Ben frowned. "How do you know that?!" He shouted at her. There was no possible way anyone could know about that. Unless...

"Because I was there," she declared, "And I was the only one you spared."

His blood ran cold and his heart leaped into his throat at those words. He had tried to dismiss her as being a lunatic, but this...this was too on point. That red hair, how had he not been able to realize it before?! And those piercing green eyes, which had lost their sparkle, but were still the same eyes he had looked into so many times. He had thought she had died a long time ago.

It really couldn't be...could it? His breath hitched as he stared at her. In a breathless whisper, he said one word. "Annie?"

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Her lips were soft was the first thing that Ben realized through his dazed mind. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening. A bridge was being crossed that he had never even thought would be built. He had never ever dreamed that Annie could feel for him in such a way. But she did, and he could feel it.

Their first kiss was nothing but a short, second-long peck, but it was something that Ben would always remember, even as he grew older and became more mature. That kiss would still mean so much to him ten, fifteen, twenty years into the future because it was the first time he actually felt _loved_.

After they broke apart, Annie was far too shy to look at him, and so she just wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Ben found himself wanting to say and ask so many things, but his throat was like sandpaper. No words would form. So he just held her and cherished the feeling of her in his arms, knowing that she wasn't Drew's or anybody else's.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Annie?" That one word echoed in Ben's mind. No way. No how. Not possible. That couldn't be her. Not Annie. Not now. "You're alive?" He couldn't help but choke on those words. He was barely able to say them, and then suddenly he felt sick to his stomach, as if he would retch right then and there. This was not possible, and yet here she was.

"Ben, who is this?" He heard Richard say behind him. He had forgotten that the man was still there. Ben ignored him. He didn't feel he could actually speak.

Annie watched him carefully, apparently gauging all of his reactions. She seemed satisfied at the sick, pale pallor his skin had taken. She put the rifle down on the ground and then proceeded to reach into her belt and take out what looked like a small branch with a hollow middle. "It's funny, Ben, how the past comes back to haunt all of us at some point or another. Isn't it?" She slipped something into the hollow of the branch.

"What is that?" Ben ignored her previous question.

She smiled, almost as if she really were mad. Ben wondered if perhaps she _was _mad. He actually shivered at the thought of Annie becoming insane. "I'm sorry about this, Ben." Before he could ask what she meant, she raised the end of the branch to her mouth and aimed it at Richard. She blew hard and a dart, he could only assume was lathered in poison, shot out and hit Richard in the side of his neck. Then, she looked at him. Ben just stared back, knowing any chance of reasoning was over with. He allowed her to shoot him in the neck and then all went dark and Ben fell to the ground.

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_** What did you guys think of this chapter? Please review, they keep me motivated to update as soon as possible!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I know what you were probably thinking. 'It's been eight days since an update, she's abandoned us.' Wrong! I'm back, everyone, and I'm here to stay :)**_

_** It's been crazy busy getting ready for the holidays and all that jazz. This was the first night I actually had time to write this in a week. I'm hoping that I'll be able to update more frequently than just once a week, especially since I know all of you Benjamites are probably terrified I'll abandon this story. You're terrified for good reason, but I swear I never will. I couldn't even if I wanted to. Just...no way. I also made a video for Ben last night. The link is in my profile! Go check it out!**_

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A thick haze surrounded the entirety of Ben's mind, clouding it almost completely. He couldn't remember anything. The last memory he did have was of Michael freeing him from the armory in the hatch. But after that...where the hell was he? And why did his head feel like a hornet's nest with all that _buzzing?_ So much buzzing. He made the mistake of raising his head too fast and his vision went black.

"I'd be careful, Ben," he heard a voice that he knew he should know, but that he just couldn't place. "The drug's affects are still wearing off."

He was practically blind as he turned in the general direction of the voice. "Where am I?" His voice croaked. He was so thirsty, and if only his bloody head would stop ringing then maybe he could concentrate and try to remember what had happened to him! She didn't answer. He tried to move his arms but found that they were tied to what seemed to be a post. Its hard, wooden surface dug into his back, adding to the overall discomfort of the situation. He tried not to panic. Licking his lips, he steadied himself. "Who are you?"

She chuckled. "You'll remember soon enough, I would say within the next few minutes. Then, you'll wish that you could forget all over again."

"Just tell me who you are," he demanded.

She clicked her tongue in disapproval. "Funny how you still think you're in the position of power."

Ben viciously blinked his eyes so that he could see the face that was speaking to him. It was working, but slowly. His vision was terribly blurred. Black dots formed in front of his eyes. But tortuously slowly, his eyesight began to return. He groaned in pain. His headache had not gone away yet. Seconds later and he was looking at the woman, his vision had pretty much become clear again. Not completely. But good enough.

The moment he saw her eyes staring back at him, his head hurt even more, as her words came true. All of the sudden, his memories of the past day crashed into him, and he really _did _regret remembering. Couldn't this just all be a bad dream? Why did the dead have to come back and haunt him?

"That's better, isn't it, Ben? Told ya you'd remember." She smirked at him. Ben saw that she was sitting across from him, a gun laying across her lap and her hands on her knees.

"If I'm tied up, why do you need the gun?" Ben didn't know why that was the first question, out of a million, that he asked, but she just chuckled and shook her head.

"You can never be too sure."

Ben moved his head from side to side. His movements were very slow so that he would not blackout again. He could still feel the drug's affects. They were faint but definitely still present. He looked at his surroundings and then back at her. "Where's Richard?"

"Safe. I sent him on his way back to wherever the hell he came from."

"And what makes you think he won't come back to rescue me?"  
She smiled, obviously quite pleased with herself. "Two reasons. I told him that you would be kept safe. And, knowing that he probably wouldn't believe that, I told him that if he tried to come back, then you'd be as good as dead. I doubt he'd risk it. I really do." She just smiled all the more.

Ben was having a hard time believing that this was Annie, the woman he had used to know so well. He had known her better than anyone else ever had. This wasn't her. It _couldn't _be her. The Annie he knew would never act like this. She almost seemed to delight in his pain. But, then again, if this really was Annie, then she probably hated him. The thought twisted his gut. The thought of Annie hating anyone was a thought that didn't sit well at all. She didn't hate. It just wasn't in her nature. He looked at the woman long and hard. If this wasn't Annie, then who the hell was she?

"What happened to you?"  
"You mean after you left me in the jungle to fend for myself?" Her smile dropped and her tone suddenly became hard and biting.

Ben nodded. "I just...I can't believe it. That you're alive. I didn't really think-"

"What? That I could make it on my own?"

Ben flinched as the words practically slapped him in the face. He hadn't abandoned her with the knowledge that she would probably die, had he? He had left her knowing that there was a _chance _that she would live...So he told himself. "I didn't-"

"Shut up." She snapped. "You wanna know what happened? Fine. I'll tell you."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

She heard a knock at the front door. Three knocks, all in a quick, rapid fire. The woman smiled. There was only one person who knocked like that every single time he came to the house. She walked over to the pram and picked the small child up into her arms, cooing softly to keep her quiet. Then, she walked out of the bedroom and into the living area, straight to the front door. She opened it without hesitation and a broad grin spread across her face.

"I thought you were supposed to be at work."

"Had to stop in and see you first," came his deadpan answer. Annie was used to it. Ben had never talked much, but when he did, it usually came out in a short, concise tone. But this was different. The way Ben was looking at her made her feel concerned. He seemed agitated about something.

She tried to continue smiling, but her face began to fall. "What is it?"

"Can I come in?"

Annie knew that he didn't have to ask. Sure, this wasn't his home, but Ben knew that he was welcome any time. Still, he refused to be anything less than polite every time he chose to stop by. Which was rather often anyway.

She moved away from the door and allowed him to walk past her. He went and sat down on the couch. He gave a quick look down at his watch and then back up at her. He just stared at her with those beady gray eyes, slightly hidden by those thin-wired glasses. His mop of black hair was combed back against his head. Annie was a twenty-three year old woman, and yet every time she looked at him, her heart would start to race, just as it had when she had still been a young girl.

She forced herself to calm down, reminding herself that something was bothering him. Then, she sat down beside him and handed Alex over to him. She enjoyed watching the baby whenever Ben went to work. She knew that Ben had just happened to find her one day out in the jungle. He had immediately decided to adopt her as his own. Annie had become, of sorts, an adopted mother also.

Ben just held the child, staring down at her blankly. That's when Annie knew something was most definitely wrong. Ben always lit up when he got to hold Alex. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ben?" He startled as he heard his name. She furrowed her eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

He just sighed and situated the sleeping baby into the crook of his arm. "If I told you that doing something was meant for your absolute safety, would you do it?"

Annie was taken aback by the question. "Ben-?"  
He looked at her and his eyes were hard and emotionless. "I need to know, Annie."

"You know I would." He nodded and looked down at his watch again. Annie was beginning to feel as if something was seriously wrong. "Ben, what is it?" Her voice trembled a bit as she saw just how tense he looked.

"Something's going to happen today, Annie. Something that I have the misfortune of knowing about. I can't stop it."

"What are you talking about? _What's _going to happen?"

He shook his head. "I can't tell you that. But you do trust me, right?"

"You know I do, but Ben-"  
"Listen," he pushed and she obeyed. He shifted so that he was looking at her. "You need to get out of here, passed the fence and into the jungle. About two hundred yards in, going straight, there's a massive tree. Sit there and wait for me. When it's safe I'll come and get you."

Annie was silent as he just stared at her. She knew that he was pleading with her to understand. But she just didn't. "Ben, what's going to happen?"

His face went stony again. "I told you I couldn't tell you that."

"If it's so bad then why don't you go to Horace and tell him? Is it the hostiles? We can be ready."

"Not this time, Annie. I'm afraid it's too late for that."

Now he was just scaring her. "Ben, what's going to happen? And how do you know about it? Are you a part of it somehow?!" She was nearly shrieking now.

"No, Annie." His voice was soft and he held her hand to calm her down. "I swear I'm not. I just know. And I don't want anything to happen to you. You've got to promise me you'll go."

"What about Alex?"

"She'll be safe with me."

She frowned. "And where will you be?"

"Annie-"

"Why can't we go together?"

"It has to be this way, Annie," he pushed. He was begging for her to understand. "This is the way it has to be. But I promise I'll come back for you."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"I believed you. God, I actually believed you bastard."

"I don't know what you think, but I can assure you that you've got it all wrong," Ben protested. But he knew that everything she had said was true so far. He was lying yet again.

Annie shook her head. "No, Ben, I understand. You never came back for me. You never planned to. Whatever your reasons were, you were already planning to abandon me!" She was shaking yet again with anger. No tears were falling. But her face was growing red with rage as she relived the awful events of that day, and as she confronted the man who had ruined her life. "Why you didn't just kill me like all the rest, I'll never know! My life's been a living hell in this jungle!"

"I would never kill you..." Ben's voice was like a whisper compared to hers. She barely heard him. When she did, she stopped and just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You might as well have just killed me, Ben. I died the day I thought you did."

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_** Don't forget to check out that link in my profile! **_

_** And thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed. I honestly never expected such a response on a story that is part of such a small fandom. Please, keep 'em coming! It's the best motivation there is!**_

_** Love ya!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_** I didn't get any reviews last chapter. Little bummed, but ya know what? I'm still here and I'm still writing! Cause I absolutely love this story :) But If ya'll could spare the time to write a little somethin' something', I would be so grateful!**_

_** Oh! And a happy belated birthday to our very own Benjamin Linus, born December 19, 2014. His birthday could never be remembered in the series, but I made sure I did...ya know...because I have no life **_**;)**

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_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben and Annie walked through the long grass of the open plain. They were about a half an hour's walk from the village and coming ever closer to the pylon fence. Per Annie's request, Ben had agreed to walk her to the fence. Alex was on her hip and Ben was holding her other hand real tightly, as if he was afraid of letting her go.

It was deathly quiet, neither willing to speak, because Ben couldn't, and Annie was far too scared to. She was scared because she didn't know what could possibly be so wrong that she had to enter the jungle all on her own. She was scared because she didn't know what was going to happen at the village and to all of the people there. She couldn't help but want to grow wings and fly back and warn them of some great and impending danger. But she couldn't. Ben had said they couldn't. She didn't dare question him, not now, when he was so much more serious than he usually was.

They were finally there. The great iron barriers rose up in front of them, tall and proud in the beautiful summer day. It was sunny and warm and there was not a cloud in the sky. Annie couldn't help but think that it was inappropriate. The day should be dreary and gray, to match her mood. The sunny sky was not helping to brighten up her thoughts at all.

"Can't you and Alex come with me?"

Ben stopped walking. They were about two feet away from the fence. He shook his head and looked out into the jungle, refusing to look at her. "It's just not possible, Annie. I'm sorry."

"But, Ben...please tell me what's going on! I want to know!"

He chuckled bitterly. "Trust me, you really don't." He finally decided to look at her then. "It's better if you don't know."

She shook her head. "But-" Ben released her hand and she instantly felt cold. Finally accepting that he was firm in his resolve, as Benjamin Linus always was, she decided to stop pushing the issue. It was futile anyway. "When will you come and find me?"

"Soon," his reply was too curt and too strained, it frightened Annie. It made her heart constrict. Her heart _hurt_. "You have to be patient, Annie. And trust me."

She tried to smile but failed miserably. Far too many emotions were coursing through her veins as it was. "I do trust you. Always." She saw pain flash across Ben's face, but it was only for a second, so quick that she wondered if she had really seen it at all.

"Good. I'll take Alex now." He held out his hands and Annie handed him the baby. Once Alex was situated in one of his arms he looked back at Annie and her blood ran cold. His eyes were so hard, and yet they contained some kind of hidden warmth underneath. One of his hands rose up to brush back a rebellious lock of her hair. "Everything'll be okay. I'll see you soon."

Annie just nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, careful not to crush baby Alex. "Be careful," she whispered into his ear and then she kissed his cheek before drawing away.

"You too."

Then, Annie walked through the fence and into the jungle.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"You might as well have just killed me, Ben. I died the day I thought you did." Annie refused to look at him after that. She hated the way he was making her feel. So angry. So conflicted. So enraged that she wished she could just kill him now. Childhood friends turned enemies. God, how she hated him.

"What do you mean?" His brows furrowed and she just looked at him.

"You're not serious?" When he didn't reply, she just scoffed. "You're thicker than I gave you credit for."

Ben frowned. "At least I saved you! At least I let you live!"

She smiled because he was getting just as angry as she. It made her feel so much less guilty that way. As long as Ben was angry, she could forget the side of him that had once been so...Ben. She could brand him as the ruthless, cold-blooded killer that he was.

"I was told that no one was to survive!" Ben continued. "Richard told me that everyone had to die. But I disobeyed to save you!"

She chuckled. "Look at you. So angry. I bet you actually think this anger is righteous, huh? You think that because you chose to save me that everything's alright." She was growing more and more hysterical by the second. "God! You _actually_ think _I_ should be thanking _you_ for choosing to spare my life! Don't you?!"  
Ben tried to move, but the ropes were far too tight. "Just...Calm. Down." He actually looked mildly nervous. Annie looked down to see that she was standing now and that she had unknowingly raised the rifle and pointed it straight at him.

She grinned and set the rifle up against a tree. "Don't tell me to calm down, Benjamin. I've spent twenty years in this jungle. Alone. I hear whispers and I think I'm going mad. Do you think I'm mad?" Ben refused to answer. "Do you?!" She screamed so loud that he actually jumped.

"One couldn't blame you if you were," came his quiet response.

She laughed, loud and clear. "That's right, Ben. And you wanna know something?" She walked up to him and knelt down so close that she was mere inches away from his face. "I hate you," she whispered in a seething voice. "I've spent years in this jungle learning what real hatred is. And you, Ben...I hate you most of all." He was staring back at her, refusing to give in and look away. It only made her more angry. That she should be so unhinged, and he still remain so calm and collected. But instead of showing her anger, she just smirked. "For twenty years I've been waiting for you to come back. In the beginning it was so that we could finally be reunited. But now...twenty years I have spent, waiting, _being patient_, for the opportunity that we could cross paths again. So that I could kill you."

Ben's eyes widened as she just looked back at him.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Annie found the tree after only a few minutes of walking. She strode up to it and sat down, removing the canteen of water and the small pack filled with food from her shoulder. She took a big gulp of the water and removed an Apollo bar from the pack. She nibbled on the chocolate and sat up against the soggy surface of the tree. The jungle was a humid mess. She desperately wanted to walk, to somehow get away from all of the humidity. But Ben had told her to sit and wait. And so she did, counting the minutes until he would emerge through the underbrush and find her again.

But afternoon gave into evening, and evening into a deep, dark night. And there was still no Ben. Annie tried not to worry. Perhaps whatever he was doing was taking longer than he had expected. Whatever he was doing? Hell, Annie _was_ worried.

The night was cold. She huddled up to keep warm.

The morning came. The hot and sticky morning. The sun rose high in the sky. Ben still didn't come. Doubt began to rise in Annie's chest, but she refused to acknowledge it. He would come. She just knew it.

But eventually Annie had to return to the world of the living. She had to think long and hard. Two days had come and gone and he still wasn't there. Three days passed. Annie barely left the tree. She watched eagerly all around her, waiting to see him. She knew her whole face would light up when she finally did.

Four days later, and there was still no sign of him or Alex. Annie couldn't believe it, but the truth was right there before her eyes.

Ben wasn't coming. Something had happened.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Kill me?" Ben echoed her last words. "Then, why haven't you already?"

"Eager, are we?"

He shook his head. "No. Just curious. If you hate me so much, why not get it over and done with?"

Annie leaned in even closer. She pulled a knife out of her belt and Ben flinched. She smirked. "Where-" she wrapped her arms around his back. He closed his eyes, waiting for the impact of the blade, but she surprised him. "-would be the fun in that?" He felt the binding around his wrist snap and go limp. She had cut him loose.

Faster than lightning, Annie moved out of his reach, but Ben wouldn't have done anything anyway, he was far too stunned by the turn of events.

"I just wanted you to know, Benjamin, that I'm alive. I wanted you to know and fear."

"I don't fear very easily." He brought his arms in front of himself and began rubbing his chafed wrists.

She smirked. "I know. I'm letting you go this time." She grabbed her rifle. "The next time, though, I won't be so merciful. Next time-" she pointed the rifle at him "-I will kill you. I swear it." Ben stood up and just listened to her, his face growing pale. She moved the gun closer to his face and he backed up a step. "Now, get the hell outta here!"

Ben didn't waste any time. He turned and he ran.

Annie just smiled and laughed manically as she watched him. "Until next time, Benjamin!" Her laugh followed him all the way back to the barracks.

Something Ben had feared for so long had finally happened.

His past had come back to haunt him. And she was mad. Absolutely, terrifyingly mad.

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_** If ya'll could spare the time to write a little somethin' something', I would be so grateful! They make me upload faster too! **_**;)**


	9. Chapter 9

_**I hope you all had a fantastic holiday! I know I did. It was splendidly quiet. :) And for my Christmas present, I got a spanking brand new printer. So. I'm a very happy girl. Does that make me strange? 16 and all I wanted was a printer? Probably. But I don't care. Cause I got a printer. I got a printer. *doing my specialty happy dance***_

_** I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I couldn't wait to get back from my grandparents so I could write it up! I want to thank ya'll for the attention this story has gotten. I never dreamed that I would already have eleven reviews on a story that is a part of such a dramatically small fandom. It means so much to me!**_

_**The song for this chapter has gotta be "Turn to Stone" by Burning Everafter. **_

_**I discovered this band completely by accident a couple days ago. And this song...**_

_**This song has been my jam. **_

_**Not to mention I think it fits this story pretty well too.**_

_**So give it a listen. I highly recommend it!**_

_**XxxxXXxXXXxXXxx**_

Ben ran long and hard. To his dismay, he found that it took him a good hour and a half of wandering before he was finally able to deduce what part of the massively large jungle he was actually traversing. Eventually, it got to the point that Ben couldn't even run anymore, not even with the threat of night falling upon him. By his estimate, it was almost three in the afternoon. And judging by where he was, Ben knew that it would take him at least another two hours to reach the village. And that was if he kept a good pace. So, he did. His breathing was labored and his shirt was soaked with sweat, but he kept going because he didn't want to get caught in the jungle at night. There were countless dangers. The smoke, being the main one. Not to mention the countless poisonous insects and snakes. The polar bear. Oh. Wait. James had killed that. _Great_, Ben thought dryly_. _One less thing he didn't have to worry about.

In truth, he was in no humorous mood. The greatest threat that he was concentrating on was not the smoke and not the creatures. His greatest threat was also his newest. _Annie_. Now that he was alone and it was quiet and he could let his thoughts dominate his actions, Ben was driven to think about her. But there was only one question that continued to circle in his mind. How? How the hell had she survived? How had she succeeded in finding him after all this time? Ben had once thought, many years ago, that if he ever saw her again, he would be relieved and overjoyed. Simply put, Ben felt neither. He hadn't ever wanted her to die. But he had _thought_ that she would. He had sent her to her death, willingly, knowingly. His mind, his manipulative mind, had tricked him into thinking that he was being merciful by trying to save her. But he hadn't been because, deep down, he had thought that it was doubtful that she would even survive the first week. How cruel had he really been?

Regardless, Benjamin Linus didn't feel guilty. He just felt angry. Angry at fate that through his own foolishness he had acquired yet another enemy. He felt indifferent towards Annie herself, if not a little frightened. He _never _felt frightened. And a small part of him, a hidden part, undiscovered until now, felt regret that she was alive. He was mildly shocked at that revelation, but still didn't feel guilty. Never guilty. He should've just let her die and be done with it. Then, at least, her haunting would be kept to a minimal. Now she was front and center in his mind and he couldn't shake her from his skin. She had said she hated him. The feeling was mutual, Ben was sure.

He looked down at his hands and saw that they were clenched and shaking. His jaw was locked. It only made him angrier when he realized that it was a dead woman who had succeeded in causing all of this. He had been so calm and collected around her, but now he was snapping.

Amazingly enough, the shock hadn't caught up with the man yet. Shock that the woman he had once had such a connection to was alive. Actually, really, amazingly alive. Ben hoped that the shock would never catch up with him. He couldn't deal with it. Not now. Not ever. Not with so many plans being put in place, and with the crash survivors needing to be dealt with.

He had been gone from the village for eight days. It was time to go home. His thoughts pivoted to Juliet. He wondered if she would be glad to see him. Relieved? Surprised? _Probably angry_, he thought grimly. Ben knew she disliked him, maybe even hated him. She looked at him with hate in her eyes. Ever since he had shown her Goodwin's dead body...he shook the thought away.

One thing was true though, he would be glad to see her again. As he had told her, she was his. Or at least, she _would _be his.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Juliet? Could you come with me for a minute?" Ben was standing to her right, obstructing her view of her lunch partner. But he was too busy watching her to notice the rudeness of his actions. He was concentrating on the curve of her neck as she turned and looked up at him.

"Hello to you too, Ben," she teased him smartly.

He couldn't resist a small grin, even if it was slightly tight. "Of course, Juliet. Forgive me. Good afternoon. Enjoying your..." he looked behind his shoulder at the man sitting there and then cleared his throat to hide his displeasure, "Lunch?"

Juliet nodded her head and grinned. "Yes, I am." Then, she turned to look around Ben's side at the man whom she had just been talking to. "I'll be right back, Goodwin." The man just gave her a reassuring smile, then began shoveling his rice onto his plastic fork and into his mouth.

Ben watched Juliet as she stood up and swung her purse around her shoulder, and then she looked at him expectantly, a small smile still on her lips. Ben motioned with his hand and led the way out of the cafeteria and across the street to a large tree with a wooden bench resting underneath it. Juliet sat down first, crossed her legs, and placed her hands in her lap. Ben stood for a moment and just stared at her until she began giving him a confused look. He shook himself and sat down next to her, feeling quite nervous, as he always did when he got the privilege to be this close to her.

It left him really quiet. Juliet cocked her head. "What's wrong, Ben?"

Ben looked at her. He had forgotten for a second what he had come to tell her. So he responded with a simple question. "Why do you assume something's wrong?"

She shrugged. "You're just acting strange."

He chuckled. "Don't I always?"

Juliet laughed too and he delighted in the sound. "No, you don't, Ben." At first he thought she was just being kind, but then, when he looked at her, he saw that she was telling the truth. Touched, he dipped his head.

"I'm glad you think so. Now..." he scooted closer to her and his voice dropped to a serious tone. He looked her in the eyes. "Now I think you should stay away from Goodwin."

_That_ caught Juliet off-guard. He saw surprise and shock flash across her face and she didn't even bother to recover from it. She just stared. "Excuse me?"

He sighed. "I've noticed that you've been spending quite a lot of time with Mr. Stanhope lately, Juliet, and it is my concern that you are growing quite attached." He saw her face transform from shock to irritation, but he continued. He couldn't stop now. "His wife notices too, Juliet, and if Mr. Stanhope continues to receive your undivided attention, I believe that there could only be trouble. Now, believe me, I know it can be difficult. This kind of temptation-is difficult to overcome. But, I fear, that your attachment to this man will only-"

"Excuse me?" She interrupted, her face resembling a thundercloud. Her voice was almost just as loud. "Excuse me?!" She repeated, this time much hotter, as she stood up and stared down at him.

"Juliet, please, I'm just-"

"How dare you! Who the hell do you think you are?! My life isn't any of your concern, Mr. Linus. If I want to pursue a friendship with Goodwin, then I will. You can't stop me!"

Ben shot right up. "A friendship?" He questioned. "Is that what they're calling it these days?" _God, this was not going well, _his mind moaned. She actually looked like she wanted to wring his neck in her bare hands.

"Shut up! You don't know anything! Nothing! So, shut the hell up!" Juliet turned to walk away, deciding it was best if she left as soon as possible. She was just about to cross the street when Ben called out after her, not caring anymore if anyone was within listening range.

"I'm not asking, Ms. Burke. Stay away from Goodwin"

She turned around. "And if I don't?" She shot back. What could Ben really do?

"If you don't comply," he responded a chilling voice, "I can assure you that the consequences will be disastrous. From his wife, of course." He knew Juliet didn't believe him. He knew it. But he didn't care.

Juliet was fuming, but she managed to keep her voice steady as she answered. "Of course." She rolled her eyes. Goodwin's wife was _not _who she needed to fear. "Good day, Mr. Linus." She turned around and stomped back to the cafeteria. Ben watched her until she disappeared behind the doors.

Only then did he close his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. That had not gone well at all.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

Finally, he had made it. Ben emerged from the hellish jungle to find the pylon fences. Ah, yes, the _other _thing that could kill him on this island. No problem though. He knelt down by the key code and punched in the needed combination. He heard the buzzing stop and felt the electricity die down. He smirked. Nearly home.

It took Ben another half hour of good walking to reach the beaten path of the village. He was here. Home sweet home. Once again. He heard a woman calling his name.

"Ben! Ben's here!" The voices picked up and soon a lot of people were spreading the word. Their leader had returned. The news spread like wildfire.

Tom was the first to approach him. "What happened to you?" He looked taken aback by Ben's terrible appearance.

"If you only knew-" Ben replied dryly before looking around him. "Where's Richard? Did he get back safely?"

"Richard?" Tom echoed, confused. "We sent him to retrieve you, but he never came back. Said that he was gonna go 'back home' wherever 'home' is, once he dropped you off."

Ben nodded. "Fine." He continued to walk, ignoring the people who were staring at the disheveled look of their leader.

He felt Tom's eyes on him as well, begging to ask questions, but he didn't look at him. Ben refused to do so. Finally, Tom just decided to ask anyway. "You alright? You look a little pale."

Ben chuckled humorlessly. "You would be too if you got caught in a net, shot in the shoulder, and then beaten within an inch of your life."

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Tom mused.

"Well, maybe I did," Ben replied cryptically, but said no more. Tom knew that that meant the end of the discussion. The subject was changed. "Is everyone ready for Phase 2?"

Tom nodded. "Phase 2 is underway. I sent a group to retrieve the supplies. They should be here by dark. We'll leave tomorrow around noon."

"And what of Jack and the others?"

"A spy's been watching their every move. They're making good timing. By tomorrow morning they'll be right where we want them to be."

Ben grinned. "Very good, Tom. And what of John Locke?"

Tom sighed. "Couldn't get him. We gave Michael a list of the four ya wanted. Those four are traveling with him right now. After you got captured, we thought about putting John on the list too, but the survivors will need a leader in Jack's place. He would have never come with Michael. Better to not give ourselves away, I figured."

Ben nodded in agreement. "I suppose so, Tom. We'll just have to bring in John later."

"You never know, boss. He might just try to come and rescue the others when he learns about their capture."

"You're right, Tom. Best to concentrate on the positive." But his voice sounded weak, even to his ears. Annie was still on his mind.

But then he saw the one thing that could clear his mind of all of the troubling thoughts. Juliet. She was standing not ten feet away from him. Her arms were crossed over her chest. This was the first time they were coming face to face since Goodwin had been killed. She didn't look as tired and hollow as she had been when he had left. But her eyes were cold towards him.

"Juliet," he greeted her as he approached her.

"Ben," she replied curtly.

Well, she certainly wasn't glad to see him. But she didn't appear angry either.

Ben gave her a small smile, which he knew would probably unsettle her more than anything else. "All prepared for tomorrow's trip?"  
She nodded. "Of course."

"Good." Another smile, and then the two passed like ships in the night.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben raised a fisted hand and hesitated. Should he really do this? He knocked four times in rapid succession and heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door. It opened a crack and light flooded out into the dark night, to reveal the even darker silhouette of a woman.

"What do you want?" She snapped impatiently. He heard her voice crack and he wondered if she had been crying.

"Only to come in," he admitted.

"I don't think that's going to happen." She crossed her arms.

He frowned. "Fine. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was not my intention to hurt you, nor was it my place to intervene."

Juliet just stared at him, seeming to judge whether or not he was actually telling the truth. He saw her eyes soften slightly, but he convinced himself that it must have just been the bad lighting on the porch. Either way, he watched as the woman opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in.

Ben was surprised. He stepped over the threshold and just stood there. Not sure where he should go, he decided to follow her into the kitchen. She was putting a kettle on for tea. He heard her sniffle. And when she finally turned around, he saw that she really _had _been crying. Rather hard. Her cheeks were dry, but her eyes were really red and puffy. She looked terrible, and Ben actually felt bad. When he looked into the living room, he saw that there were a couple of pillows scattered across the room, as if she had thrown them in her distress.

"It was never my intention to upset you, Juliet," he admitted and he meant it. "I only wanted to express my concern."

"It wasn't your place to be concerned, Ben. You may be the leader, but I'm still my own person. You don't control me. If I want to spend time with Goodwin, I'll spend time with Goodwin." She left the tea kettle and motioned towards the living room, picking up the stray pillows as she went. Ben followed her and sat down on the sofa, making sure that he was a good few feet away from where he thought she would sit; but to his surprise, she actually sat down right next to him, so close that their thighs almost touched.

"I know that, Juliet." He finally chose to respond. "I just see you with him, and I know that there has to be more behind the scenes. And with his wife-"

She scoffed. "You're really not concerned about Harriet, are you?"

He turned and looked at her, startled. "What on earth do you mean?"

Juliet stared at him, never looking away, and Ben felt nervous under her gaze. "Why don't you tell me? What's really the matter, Ben?"

"I don't understand."

Juliet sighed. "Why don't you want me to be with Goodwin? Why does it worry you so much?"

Ben shrugged. "You're a good friend to me, Juliet. I'm looking out for your well-being, that is all."

"I don't believe you."

"Why?" Ben knew he wasn't telling the truth. But no one ever detected his lies. _Ever._

Juliet seemed like she wanted to say something else, but she abruptly ended the conversation. "Never mind." She looked away from him and it was awkwardly silent.

Ben sighed, but he didn't look away. He just stared at her. There was so little time that he actually got to just sit and observe her. He relished in these moments. "I'm sorry." His voice was so quiet that he didn't think she heard him, but she did.

She turned to look at him and his eyes caught hers. "You're really telling the truth, aren't you?"

He nodded and smiled slightly. "I am." Ben just looked back at her, but he felt warm. It was becoming harder and harder to stare back. And was it his imagination, or was she coming closer?

Juliet moved closer to him, studying his reaction. She stopped just short of his face, never losing contact with his eyes. "You never tell the truth, Ben."

He smirked and replied with a voice that he fought to keep steady. "A first time for everything?" Juliet didn't reply, but he knew that she was going to kiss him. Whether out of anger or forgiveness, he didn't know, but he found himself wanting it. He leaned in and felt her warmth breath against his mouth...

A sharp whistle sounded, and it was so starkly loud that they both pulled away so abruptly and so awkwardly that it was actually jarring. Juliet jumped up and ran to the stove where the tea kettle was. Ben didn't know what to do, so he just followed her.

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_** Hope you liked it, and I hope you tell me how much! This took me forever to write, but I'm really happy with it!**_

_** Also, I made a pretty awesome video over this past week. Again, it took me forever, but it was so worth it. It's called Lost: This Is War. It's a shot LOST fanvid, made with the song "This Is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars. A perfect song for this show! Please, ya'll go and watch it! It's under my YouTube channel name "Lady Gisborne 15".**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**The holidays have come and gone, and now it's back to work. I'm so ready to start updating regularly again! I missed all of you guys! Thanks for all of the feedback. I don't get a lot, but what I do get, means the world to me :)**_

_** I've pretty much decided that anything by Within Temptation fits Annie's life in this story perfectly. Especially "Memories", which I think I'm going to make her song. Ben's is "Far From Home", and Annie's is "Memories". Just some extra info :)**_

_** Disclaimer: This has already been disclaimed.**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

__Blurring. Flashing. Lightning. Running.

Screaming. Whirring. Panting. Drumming.

Always. Never ceasing.

_Run. Run, you must get away!_

Her eyes moved rapidly from underneath her eyelids. Her cheeks were hot and red, and her entire body was sweating, making her otherwise curly red hair limp and straggly.

Her heart beat like the drums in her dreams. The drums of people who were always chasing her but who she never saw. They were invisible, all around her. In the trees. The dirt. The wind. No escape.

_No escape! Run!_

_ RUN!_

Annie's back arched as she tried to sit up, finally succeeding in pulling herself up and draping herself over her bent knees. She felt like vomiting. Hot, sticky, panting, out of breath. It was still dark out and it pressed all around her, making her heart race more. How could she still be so affected, after all these years? Twenty long years spent alone in a jungle from hell, with only her dreams to visit her.

Blindly, she reached out to find her weathered canteen and uncorked it, before pouring all of its contents over her head. The warm water did nothing to appease the heat, but it did wake her up.

The drumming in her ears stopped and she was able to hear her surroundings. Through her dazed mind she heard the faint snap of a twig. Her eyes opened wide and she stood up, reaching for the rifle by her side and pointing it in the direction of the noise. Her body hummed with adrenaline and fear.

"Who's there?!" She practically screamed, not concerned with being quiet. She unlocked the safety and had her finger on the trigger. She caught sight of a moving shadow and her finger locked around the trigger. But before she could pull it, a voice stopped her.

"Be quiet, Annie."

The woman felt immense relief when she recognized the voice. Slowly, the newcomer stepped closer, a rifle was in her hands also.

Annie's voice returned to normal as she squatted back down on the ground, laying her rifle aside, just close enough that she could grab it if the need arose. "A bit early to be comin' around, don't ya think, Danielle? I could've shot you."

"It's a good thing I stopped you then, no?" The woman sat down beside her, but kept the rifle in her lap.

"I would offer you something to drink, but my canteen's empty."

Danielle only nodded her head in response. It was still too dark to make out too many of each other's features, but Rousseau's curly brown hair was evidence enough, as was her French accent.

Annie sighed into the silence, finally beginning to feel calm again. Her heart was not thrashing wildly about her chest anymore. "What brings you around, Rousseau?"

"I was checking my traps."

"This early?"

Danielle nodded. "Couldn't sleep. And by the sound of it, you couldn't either." Annie cocked her head and the woman explained. "I heard you call out. I came to see if you were alright."

"Thanks," Annie whispered very quietly, she doubted the other woman could hear her, but it seemed she did because Danielle dipped her head in acknowledgment. She was grateful that Danielle never asked her what her dreams were about. Sometimes she wished she could just tell someone, but then, she was glad that no one knew. It was best that no one knew what she dreamed of in her deepest sleep. The nightmares of her past, present, and future. The nightmares of all the horrors she had witnessed.

"The survivors were holding a man in one of the hatches. He escaped yesterday." Danielle's statement was so jarring that Annie's heart slammed in her chest. The memories of the previous day flooded her mind. Rousseau continued. "He was captured in my net. I recognized him. I tried to convince them not to take him, but they wouldn't listen." Danielle sighed. "He was the man who stole my Alex."

Annie sucked in her breath. She had often heard Danielle speak of her baby Alex, the most precious thing in her life, that had been stolen from her in the dark. But she had never wanted to believe-

"Are you alright, Annie?" Danielle asked in concern. She must have heard the woman's reaction to her statement.

"The man who stole Alex...I know him too," Annie admitted. "His name is Benjamin Linus."

Rousseau never showed any sign of emotion, no reaction, but in the husky dawn, Annie could just make out the faint lines of surprise on the woman's weathered and worn face. "Benjamin Linus? _You're _Benjamin Linus? The one who-"

Annie stopped her from saying anything more and nodded. "That's the one." She looked down and began to idly peel at her fingernails. It was a habit that she had always had, and it was fiercely put to use whenever she was nervous, anxious, or uncomfortable. It took her several more seconds to speak, and when she did, she sounded as if she were choking on her own words. "I saw him yesterday."

"You what?"

Her head shot up. "I saw him. For the first time in twenty years, I actually got to see him." She turned away from Danielle's piercing eyes. "It was nothing like what I expected."

"You told me if you ever saw that man again you would kill him."

Annie nodded. "I did. But I...let him go."

"But-" Danielle furrowed her brows. "After everything he's done. To you. To Alex...Why?"

"A momentary lapse in judgment." She stood up, leaving the rifle behind her. She trusted Rousseau. "I saw him again, and I just couldn't. Not then. I hate him. I_ hate _him! He _will_ die."

Danielle frowned. Not because she didn't approve, but because she saw how agitated the woman before her was becoming. She stood up and reached out for her. It was as if Annie was startled from some sort of dream the moment Rousseau touched her arm. "Annie. He's not worth the anger."

Her jaw was clenched. Her eyes flashed green. She was angry. The very thought of Ben brought shivers of rage up her entire body. But then, just as quickly as it had come, the anger dissipated. "You're right. Of course you are."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Annie awoke to the sound of one of the jungle birds caw-cawing somewhere high up in the trees. The very sound made her stomach clench in hunger. It was as if the birds were mocking her because she had no means of capturing them. Annie had no training in survival. It wasn't like she had planned to be out here this long without a fresh supply of food and water. She wasn't even supposed to have stayed in this bloody jungle for this long!

The woman stood up and stretched, allowing the bright sun to pour through the trees and all across her body, warming her almost instantly.

Annie's thoughts were plagued. The haunting thoughts never stopped. The worry and anxiety had no end. Continuous. Even when she slept, she could feel it wound up in a tight ball against her heart. She was afraid. What could have possibly happened to Ben to detain him for so long? Annie knew that whatever had made him make her leave the village had been terrible enough to be incredibly dangerous. Ben had actually looked worried. He _never _looked worried; it just wasn't in his nature. But something about what was going to happen that day had had him nervous.

For the first four days, Annie had tried to convince her mind that something had just happened to detain him. Maybe it was still unsafe and he was in hiding. But it had been six days now, and she doubted Ben would have just left her out here on her own. Something had happened, and that thought made her entire body shake. A large part of her wanted to venture back to the village, to see whatever lay behind that pylon fence, to know what had twisted Ben's gut so.

Was he even alive?

The more she thought about it, the more Annie feared the conclusion that her mind was already forming on its own. Something terrible must have happened to him. Maybe the hostiles had captured him. Maybe he was being tortured. Or...

Maybe he was dead.

Annie shuddered and then pinched her eyes shut as hard as she could to squeeze out the image of Ben's dead corpse laying cold and alone in the grass.

"Come on, Annie. Stop it. It won't help anything." She continued to whisper soothing words to herself until she had calmed down again. She pushed the thought of Ben aside and she focused on the present problem. She was all alone in this jungle. Ben had told her to stay by the tree and wait for him. But she couldn't stay forever. Her canteen was completely empty and her throat was parched. Add on top of that, the food she had packed was nearly gone, and even if she rationed it carefully, it would be all gone by noon.

Annie had to make a decision. Stay here and risk dying of hunger, or leave and risk missing Ben? There really wasn't much of a decision. As much as she wanted to stay, her stomach was aching something fierce. She doubted she would last long without fresh water. So, she shouldered her pack and her canteen and began the heated trek into the unknown and forbidden jungle.

She was too distressed by her current predicament to even really observe the beauty of her surroundings. She was looking for anything, _anything_, to eat. And she was constantly listening for the sound of any kind of flowing water.

It was about ten minutes into her hike when Annie got the feeling that she was being watched. She pivoted and glanced behind her, looking all around, but she saw nothing to suggest a threat. Annie continued on, but she couldn't quite shake the feeling that someone was still there.

Within a half hour, Annie had completely lost her bearings, she doubted if she could find her way back to the tree. She was truly alone.

Several yards ahead of her, she saw a vine that was wrapped tightly around a skinny, but incredibly tall, tree. When she walked closer, she saw that the green vine was covered with tens of hundreds of small, orange orbs. They looked similar to oranges. The outside appeared to be more like a shell. When she removed one from the vine, she found that it was leathery to the touch and nearly impossible to open.

The thought of food fueled her already weak body and she began to pound the strange object against a nearby rock. It took several tries, but eventually she succeeded in cracking the outer skin. When she peeled it open, she saw that it was a fruit, judging by the yellowy-brown fleshy material on the inside. It looked utterly disgusting and smelled almost rotten, but Annie didn't care. Her hunger called to her and she raised the fruit to her lips.

Just as she was about to take a bite, she heard a stick snap behind her and then a voice. "Don't eat that."

With a gasp, Annie dropped the fruit and looked behind her. Standing only five feet away was a woman. A woman with small, beady brown eyes, a mild complexion, and thick, uncombed brown hair. She looked fierce and frightening and was carrying a rifle in her hands.

Annie stood to her feet and grabbed the closest stick, holding it in her hands for protection, though she knew that she was no match when put up against a gun. "Who are you?" She demanded to know, her voice held a tremor and her hands shook.

"My name is Danielle," the woman responded. Annie noticed that the woman had a deep voice and a strange, yet recognizable accent. It was heavily French. "Are you one of them?"

"One of who?" Annie furrowed her brow.

"You are." Danielle replied simply and pointed her gun at her.

Annie dropped the stick in favor of raising her arms. "Wait. Stop!" Her heart beat wildly in her chest. "Are you a hostile?" She doubted calling the woman such an offensive term was the right choice, but she was too frightened to think.

"A hostile?" The woman asked in confusion.

Annie nodded. "I come from the Dharma Initiative." She pointed in the general direction of where she knew it was. "That's my home."

That seemed to get the woman's full attention. "Where is she?" Danielle stepped closer. Her gun pointing straight at Annie's chest. "Where is my Alexis?!"

"I—I don't know! But please. Just listen!" Annie was screaming frantically now. "Please! There's nothing left. Something...happened! I—I escaped. But my people...I don't know what happened to them!"

Danielle stared at her for several more seconds, seeming to try and judge whether or not this girl was telling the truth. To Annie's relief, the woman lowered her rifle. "What are you talking about?"

Annie felt her lip quiver and then she felt the tears flowing to her eyes. "Please—I don't know what to do..." She was pleading with this strange woman to help her. That's when the unconsciousness struck. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, as well as dehydrated, malnourished, and frightened. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell to the ground. All went black around her.

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXX**_

_** Please, leave a review! And thank you DrunkenOfficer for reviewing on the previous chapter!**_

_** Love you all :D**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thank you Drunken Officer for reviewing on the last chapter. I'm so glad you enjoy this story and what I'm trying to do! I look forward to what you have to say next!**_

_**XxxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_ Three days later..._

__"Sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to put those on, Kate," Ben expressed as he looked at her from where he sat across the table. The ocean was so close that he could nearly feel its salty spray on his face and he could hear the refreshing sound of the waves hitting the rocks. The beauty was lost to Benjamin, however. In that moment, all of his focus was placed on the woman sitting opposite him. The woman with the flowered sundress.

She raised a brow at the handcuffs on the table. "And if I don't?"

Ben smirked. "Then you don't get any coffee."

Kate complied and slipped the metal cuffs onto her wrists.

"Tighter," Ben ordered and he was met with a defiant look from the woman. He could tell he was angering her fast. "Please." Ben was grateful when she finally complied. He nodded his head and began to eat his eggs.

Kate did not eat, however. She just stared at him with a calculating and cold eye. "What have you done with Sawyer and Jack?"

Ben looked up, fork in the air. "Now, _why _Sawyer?"

"'Why Sawyer' what?"

"He's the first one you asked about," Ben answered and nibbled at his toast. "'What have you done with _Sawyer_ and Jack?'"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You don't know me."

"Of course I don't," Ben complied and set his piece of toast down to study her. She was certainly a beautiful woman, but far too fiery for him. Far too rash and angry. And not even the least bit grateful for the view he had provided her with.

As long as Ben stared at her, Kate stared right back. She looked as if she would have crossed her arms if her wrists hadn't been cuffed. "I want my clothes back."

"We've burned them," he deadpanned and her cheeks became red with anger.

"Why did you bring me here? Why did you make me put on this dress? Why are you feeding me breakfast."

_Good. Now she was asking the right questions._

Ben just smirked all the more and motioned to the view of the island's coast. "I brought you here so you'd look out at the water and feel comforted - comforted that your friends were looking out at the same ocean. I gave you the dress so that you'd feel like a lady. And I wanted you to eat your food with a real live fork and feel civilized. I did all those things so that you'd have something nice to hold on to. Because, Kate, the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant."

If he frightened her at all, she didn't show it. "What do you mean by unpleasant?"

He chuckled. "I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and see."

Kate nodded and he wondered if she had even expected him to answer that question. "And you're the leader here?"

"You could say that," he said with a nod. "But there are higher forms of leadership than me."

She laughed bitterly. "Who knew this island would be such a democracy?"  
He returned her laugh. "There is a lot about this place that you don't know."

"So..." she began and she finally decided to eat a little. After all, she was starving. And the food, though she hated to admit it, was actually really good. "I take it you didn't just crash on this island. Who are you really?"

"If I told you that, then where would be the mystery in it all?"

Kate rolled her eyes and took another bite. "Can I at least know your name? Your _real _name?"

He smirked. "What's in a name?" When he saw the disappointment flash in her eyes, he smiled just a bit. "But you can call me Benjamin. Benjamin Linus."

"Well, Benjamin..." she looked him dead in the eyes and grinned defiantly. "It's taking awhile to heal, huh?"  
Ben instictively raised a hand to the spot above his right eye, where he knew there was still a scrape. "You have your Iraqi torturer to thank for that," he replied dryly. "But I wouldn't look so smug, Ms. Austen." He saw the look of shock on her face when he said her last name. "After we're done with you, you'll wish we were Iraqi torturers instead of the 'others', as you like to call us."

"You wouldn't dare hurt us!" She declared between clenched teeth.

"Oh, trust me," he said calmly, "Torture is not really our thing. But, may I remind you, Kate, there are worst things than the pain of the body." Ben turned to look out at the ocean and sighed. "Isn't it just one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen?"  
But Kate didn't answer and he didn't expect her too. She was far too busy glaring at him with all the hate she could muster.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

A twenty-nine year old Benjamin Linus sat on the great, gargantuan surface of a cliff, looking out at the ocean below. The blue expanse stretched out as far as he could see and, were it not for the geographical lessons he had learned in school, he would have wondered if perhaps the blue went on forever and ever. Of course, Benjamin knew it didn't. But there would always be a part of him that would wonder 'what if'...What if the ocean didn't end? What if the island was the only source of land on the earth? What if they were the only humans in existence?

Ben felt a pair of eyes staring at him and he turned around to see that Richard was the newcomer, the intruder into his private thoughts. Very rarely did Ben get a chance to be so quiet, what with his new role as leader of the island. He had banished Widmore only a week ago. And good riddens. That was one man he would never ever miss, not even for a moment.

"Do you think I made the right choice?"  
His voice, though quiet, was abrupt, and Richard walked up to sit down beside him. "About what?"

"About..." 'everything' was almost what he said, but he decided against it. "About Charles?"

Richard shrugged and looked out at the ocean. "You didn't have a choice. Charles sinned and went against the rules of the island. He could no longer be the leader. Jacob's decision."

Ben nodded. "I suppose," he replied thoughtfully, he was only half intent on the conversation. He licked his lips and looked at the man sitting next to him. "Do you think I make a good leader?"

"I think..." Richard replied slowly, "...That you do what you can. You're not going to be perfect at it. And-" He paused.

Ben raised a brow. "What?" His voice was hard. He could tell Richard was hesitating.

"Well," the man chuckled humorlessly, "It's no secret that this is what you've wanted for a long time."

"Are you saying I orchestrated all of this? That I planned this? Is _that_ what you think?"

"No, I don't think that. But how can the people be assured of that?" Richard shook his head. "They watched you as a boy, Ben. Some died, others took their place. I don't think many of them trust you, if that's what you're asking."

Ben frowned. "I'm not looking for trust. I know I give no reason for people to trust me."

"Anyone in particular you're thinking of?"

"Why would you think that?" He snapped as he turned to Richard.

The man seemed unphased. "You have a far away look in your eye, as if you were asking all of these questions underneath the guise of the people, but were really asking them about a particular person." Ben was silent and just looked down at his hands. Richard frowned. "What was her name?"

"Why do you assume it was a woman?"

"Isn't it always?" Richard jested and succeeded in making Ben smirk.

It was silent as the two men sat, hearing nothing but the crashing sounds of the waves hitting the rocks below. Richard wondered if he should just get up and leave Ben to his thoughts, but, just as he was about to, it seemed the man was ready to speak again.

"I lost her, Richard," he began in his monotonous voice, void of emotion, and licked his lips. "She trusted me with her life and I let her down." He looked at Richard and his eyes were solemn but still emotionless. Ben disproved the very idea that eyes were windows into the soul. "I thought that after all this time, I would be able to forget. But how can I forget if I can't forgive myself?" Richard thought he heard a flicker of sadness in Ben's tone. "I can't forgive myself."

Richard didn't say anything because he couldn't think of anything to say. He knew Ben was never this vulnerable, and even though he was barely showing any emotion now, he knew that this was about as vulnerable as the man would ever get. He knew that Ben would not appreciate calming words of encouragement, nor would he desire a lengthy to-do-list to attain the path of forgiveness. So, he was just silent, wondering who this mystery woman could be, and what had happened to her.

"Did she die in the Purge?" Richard dared to ask.

Ben's shoulders stiffened and he turned to look at the man. In a simple voice came his simple reply.

"Yes."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"You okay?"

He turned around to look at Juliet. "Since when do you care?" He knew he sounded hostile but he couldn't really bring it in himself to care.

She shrugged. "You're right. I really don't." Her voice was cold, but it didn't affect Ben really. He knew she disliked him. But then again, this was the longest conversation they had had in nearly three weeks.

"How's Jack?" Ben decided to change the subject as he focused his gaze back on the video feed of the doctor. The man was currently pacing the length of his "room", his hands on his hips, his jaw locked.

Juliet shrugged. "He's normal, considering all that's happened to him. Angry mostly."

"This should be some fun then," Ben replied, a hint of humor in his tone.

"Remember that this is the man you hope will perform the surgery. Your life depends on him." She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. "Don't anger him any more than he already is."

He turned around. "What's that supposed to mean?" The question was posed softly enough, but he sounded curious. He leaned his back up against the desk.

She seemed unfazed by his reaction to her statement. "Nothing. Just...you tend to make more enemies than you do friends, and you anger people more often than you don't. If you do so with Dr. Shephard I can't guarantee that he will do the surgery."  
"There's always an angle, Juliet. It just needs to be found and exploited. He may not do the surgery with a willing conscience, but, you mark my words, I'll find a way to convince him."

"You're a manipulative bastard, Ben," Juliet declared in a cold tone and he saw the glint of hate in her eyes. It was clear and unmistakable.

Ben rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Believe what you want."

Juliet looked as if she wanted to say something else, but instead, she decided to turn around and leave. She would've kept walking if his voice hadn't stopped her.

"Do you believe the past can come back to haunt you?"  
Her brows slanted and she turned back around. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
He licked his lips as he tried to explain, but he eventually gave up. "Never mind." He thought she would leave but she just continued to stare at him.

"I do think that our past wrongs have consequences. One way or another, our mistakes always catch up to us." She cocked her head. "Why do you ask?"

Ben frowned and then looked up and straight into her eyes. "No reason." Juliet just nodded.

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret what?"

Juliet closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself. "Killing him."

"By 'him', I presume you mean Goodwin?" Juliet just nodded and Ben shrugged. "The only thing I regret about doing what I did is-" he paused and frowned, "-is that I have lost your friendship. I thought that by eradicating him, you would be mine. But in doing so, I just pushed you away even more."

"Ben, I never felt for you like that. If I ever gave you a reason to believe-"

He interrupted. "You almost kissed me."

"What?" His abrupt answer left her floundering for coherent speech.

"On the night I came to your home to apologize, after telling you to stay away from him, we-" he groaned. "Never mind."

"Ben, I was upset!" She exclaimed as she walked back into the room and slammed the door behind her. The room was so small that it left very little space to move, and they were so close they were almost touching. Her hot breath crashed into his face and he could feel her anger burning within her. "Your words had hurt me, and then you did something I never thought you would do. You came and you apologized, and you _were _serious. I lost myself for a moment! One moment!" She bit her lip. "And nothing happened."

"Something could've," he argued, trying to hold onto one last strand of hope of what might have been, but she coldly shook her head.

"No, Ben," she admitted, "It couldn't have."

And with that, she had reopened the door, walked outside, and slammed it hard in his face.


	12. Chapter 12

_**First of all, I want to thank Drunken Officer, not only for reviewing, but for also sending me a private message because she was so desperate to know when I was going to update again. It means more to me than words can express that you are so in love with this story! I feel like screaming. To answer your question, I have made Monday my official updating day, and I intend to keep to that schedule :)**_

_** I also wanted to tell you all that Ben is the hardest character I've had to write for yet. I thought he would be rather easy to write, but it turns out that I end up taking three to four hours just to make sure that I've got every word and every mannerism correct. So, I hope you all find him to be in character. There is nothing worse than a character that is so obviously OCC.**_

_**XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxx**_

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Ben and Annie stood and watched as all of the other kids walked along the pier and then piled, one by one, into the submarine. Ben didn't find it at all unsettling that he wouldn't miss any of them. In his opinion, they had all been brats and he hadn't grown close to any of them. Drew passed by them both and glared. Ben just smirked. It had taken two years but he had finally succeeded in getting his revenge on the school bully. Now he watched with pride as Drew walked by, one of his eyes swollen shut and his upper lip split and red. The moment Drew's eyes fell on Annie, Ben grabbed her hand and glared back. The message was fairly clear. She was his and would never belong to Drew. Drew just rolled his eyes and walked past. His head eventually vanished as he went down into the submarine.

"You didn't have to give him such a beating," Annie chided softly, but he could hear the faint hint of amusement in her voice.

Ben shrugged. "That's a matter of opinion."

Annie gave his hand a squeeze. If she had been surprised by the gesture, she hadn't shown it, but he felt comforted by the fact that she still hadn't let go. "I said you didn't have to. I didn't say I minded." She chuckled as Ben grinned, and then they were silent again.

The children would never come back, everyone knew that, and neither would the parents. They were to return to the mainland, to America. All Ben knew was that someone had given them all permission to leave should they wish it. Most had. Five families, not including his and Annie's, had decided to stay. He still didn't know why his dad hadn't opted to return to the United States, if he hated it here so much. But Ben was glad. There was no way he ever wanted to go back. This was his home now and it always would be.

"I'm so happy I didn't have to go," Annie declared as they watched the last of the passengers board. "I was so scared that my parents would want to go back."

Ben smirked as he looked down at her, and she up at him. "You're fifteen now. I think you're old enough to decide whether you want to leave or stay."

Annie chuckled. "I'm not anywhere near old enough, Ben! If my parents had left, they would have taken me with them. I didn't want to leave."

"I didn't want you to either," he admitted honestly. "I don't know what I would do if you weren't here to keep me company." He pulled her along with him and they began the walk back down the pier and towards the village.

"Probably drive yourself mad," she teased.

"Probably." But he was dead serious and she felt her heart leap in her chest at the thought. Did he really think so highly of her? Was she really so important to him? True, he had barely said anything, but she had gotten very good at reading in between the lines.

"I was kidding, Ben," she decided to admit.

Ben gave her palm a squeeze and then he turned off of the path and into the tree line. "I know."

"Ben, where are you taking me?" It was a fair enough question. By then, they had stopped walking, but the thick underbrush of trees had hidden them from view.

He looked down at her and let go of her hand. "Nowhere." Annie just stood there and swallowed hard as Ben leaned down and gave her a short peck on the lips.

She sighed happily and stepped closer. "Was that the reason you brought me in here?" She teased him and watched as the tips of his ears turned red. Very rarely did he ever blush. The sight made her grin.

"Maybe," came his curt reply.

Annie barely let him finish before she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and brought her mouth up to his again.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

The memories hurt. Everywhere he turned, everything he did, she was right there, and he was reminded of some time or of some place where they had been together. He had been content. She had been happy. Too soon it had all been taken away, but it had been what Jacob had wanted, and he had not hesitated in following the commands he had been given. For that reason, he had never been able to find it in himself to regret the choice he had made.

Until now.

Ever since had had been made aware of her existence, his mind had been constantly whirling with memories of their past. It was as if she was in his own soul tormenting him. She was constantly there. His thought were muddled, and if there was one thing Benjamin Linus hated, it was having a clouded mind. He couldn't think that way. And he needed to be able to think, quick and efficiently, if they were all going to survive.

He blinked and suddenly a rifle was pointing at him and she was holding it in her hands. It was the memory of only a week ago. A week ago he had seen her, and he hoped that he would never see her again. In an other life, maybe, but she was out for blood – his blood! – It would be foolish to go and seek her out. That's why he knew they were safe here, on the second island. There was no way she could transport herself over here. It was when they returned to the mainland that the real preservation of his life would have to be put into effect. He had no intention on leaving the Barracks unless it was absolutely necessary.

A knock on the door and Tom entered. "Ben, everything's in place whenever you're ready."

He turned around and nodded in reply. "Alright. Thank you, Tom."

"You okay?"  
"Yeah, why?" Ben suppressed the desire to roll his eyes. When was everyone going to stop asking him that damned question?!

Tom shrugged. "Just ever since you came back from the survivor's camp, you seem...different." He chose his words carefully.

"I can assure you I'm fine," Ben gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes but he was grateful when Tom just nodded and left the room. Ben turned back around to look at one of the televisions. "Well, then," he hummed to himself, "I will be along presently, Mr. Ford." Then, he walked out of the room and down the many twisting halls and corridors. Ben hoped that this current mission would be enough to distract him from his thoughts.

Upon coming out into the courtyard where the cages were, he saw Sawyer stand up and look at him, before whispering something incomprehensible to Kate who was locked up across from him.

"Lunch all ready?" Sawyer asked him snidely and Ben approached the cage, stopping just short of the puddle he knew Sawyer wanted him to step in. Honestly, if these two idiots hadn't found out they had security cameras watching their every move and listening to their every plan and idea on how to escape, Ben had given them way too much credit.

"What is your weight?" He wasted no time in asking. He was in no mood for Sawyer's crap.

"What?"

"What is your weight?" He asked more forcefully.

Sawyer just groaned. "180, give or take."

Ben nodded. "And how old are you?" He took another teasing step towards the puddle.  
"32," Sawyer replied a bit too quickly.

"Don't lie."

The man looked positively irritated, and Ben smirked. "35."

Ben paused as if he were thinking. "Alright. Good." Then, he stepped into the puddle and began to unlock the cage door. Sawyer quickly reached through the bars and grabbed his arm through. With his foot, the man began to pound on the button of the food dispenser. He continued to pound and pound. But his plan failed.

"What did you do?" Sawyer came really close to the bars and asked.

"We turned it off," came the simple reply before Ben brought up the baton he had been holding in his hand and hit Sawyer hard on the skull. The man shouted in pain and fell to the ground, giving Ben enough time to open the door and pick Sawyer back up before the man could even react. Another whack of the baton. Sawyer shouted again. Ben grabbed the man by the shoulders and threw him to the other side of the cage. Sawyer lay defeated on the ground and Ben brought his knee up and kicked the man hard in the face, watching as he passed out.

That had been too easy. But it had felt good. He had felt the power that came with putting others in their positions of submission. Ben wiped the sweat off of his forehead and stepped aside as Tom and two other men entered the cage and grabbed Sawyer. He was impervious to Kate's pleading shouts as they dragged him away. Cold and ruthless.

He was back.

On his way back through the corridors he passed Alex. "What are you doing here?" He asked her sharply. The last place he expected her to be was wandering through the halls of the station. He expected her to be out exploring the jungle or searching for Karl. But she seemed to be standing exactly where she wanted to be. He watched as she crossed her arms, leaned up against the steel wall, and just stared at him.

"You didn't have to beat him up," she spoke in a voice that was clearly disapproving. Ben's mouth twitched as he recognized those words that were so like the words Annie had said to him the day the children had left the island. Only her words had been spoken in jest. Alex's clearly were not.

"It's none of your concern, Alex," Ben reminded her in a cool voice. "Now, I'll ask you again, what are you doing here?"

Alex shrugged and pushed herself off the wall so that she could walk closer to him. "Looking for you."

"Why?" Ben was ashamed that he sounded wary, but with the way his and his daughter's relationship had deteriorated so fast in the past few months, he wasn't taking any chances. He could kill Karl with his bare hands for this, for turning his own daughter against him.

"I needed to ask you something. Where is he?" Her voice was snappish and her eyes glared at him.

"By him, I assume you're referring to Karl?" Ben shook his head. "I can't tell you that."

"Why not?!" She nearly shouted at him.

Ben groaned. He was tired of having this conversation over and over again. "Because, Alex," his voice was venomous, "I said so, and I expect you to follow my orders."

She scoffed. "Why should I? You don't even act like my dad anymore."

The words hurt him, cut through him deeply, but he refused to acknowledge the pain. He responded in a stiff and emotionless tone. "Fine. But I am still your leader. If nothing else, you still own me your respect."

"I. Don't. Owe. You. Anything." She denied, but he could see her resolve wavering. She knew she had gone too far. She owed him so much, and she could never fully repay him for all he had done. Raising her single-handedly was at the top of the list.

He laughed then, a cruel and twisted laugh. He saw his daughter shiver, but he forced the wave of regret down. So what if he frightened her? Maybe if she was scared enough she would leave this whole situation alone. But it was still Alex, so he doubted it. He stopped laughing and just stared at her. "Don't come here again, Alex." He warned her. "You may find things that you'll regret seeing. But I can assure you -" he walked up to her and tried to touch her arm but she shrugged out of his grasp – "One of those things is _not _Karl." He softened his tone just a bit then as he looked at her. "You will see him again when I think it's the right time. Until then...find some other way to waste your time."

Ben ignored the look of anger on her face as he passed by her and walked further down the hall. Alex didn't follow him. He heard her footsteps continue in the opposite direction and then all was silent.


	13. Chapter 13

_**You guysss! I got three reviews on the last chapter, and I just couldn't be happier! I wanted to thank all of you: thewhitekitten (it's lovely to have you back!), DrunkenOfficer (as always, it's a pleasure, and I'm sorry for the wait on this chapter), and thehopefulone (you're new to this story, but I hope to see you again soon! And those one shots are a really great idea!).**_

_** You may find that I jump rather rapidly through the many episodes of season 3. This is just because I want to get to a certain part of the series and the story really can't begin until we get to season 4. Spoiler: that's when Ben and Annie will meet in the present. So, bear with me as I jump through time in the next couple of chapters. Thanks!**_

_** There, now that that's done with, onto the chapter! I hope you all love it :) Let me know how much!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

__"Juliet. Did Alex ask about me?"

The woman shook her head. "No. We took her home last night. I don't know where she is now."

Ben tried not to feel disappointed. Why should he be surprised that his estranged daughter didn't care to see him the day of his surgery? He would either walk out of this room dead or alive. He was haunted by the memory of their last meeting. That was not how he wanted her to remember him. "Fine." _I don't care what happens to you._ He pushed her painful words out of his head and laid his head down. "I'm ready."

"Alright," Jack said, "I need you to count backwards from twenty." Ben felt the needle pierce his skin and the effects of the anesthesia were potent.

"20...19...18..." his eyelids closed and everyone was silent for a moment. They knew that this was a dangerous procedure and this could be the last time their leader ever closed his eyes. After a respectful moment of silence, Jack turned to Juliet.

"Scalpel," he commanded and Juliet handed him the tool. With bated breath, Juliet and Tom stood by and watched as Jack began making the incision in Ben's back.

_An hour later..._

To say that the surgery had gone anything like Ben had planned would be a complete lie. He hadn't known what to expect, but all he did know was that one hour later – due to Jack's inadequate experience with the use of anesthesia – he was coming to. The first thing he heard was the rapid beeping of the machine by his head and then he heard shouts and arguments. Close as he could tell, the surgery had not been completed and Tom sounded agitated. Juliet was nowhere in the room.

"Is it true Juliet wanted you to kill Ben?" He heard Tom ask and he had to keep from jumping in shock. Juliet? Betrayal? Kill him? He didn't know why it should surprise him. Actually, now that he thought about it, it really didn't. He should've expected it sooner.

Jack said something and then Ben chose to intercede. "Hey, that's not helping anything. Now can someone get Juliet." He needed to talk to her.

_That night..._

Things had gotten even worse from there. The dramatics had ensued. He had spoken to Juliet, purposefully failing to mention her betrayal and the punishment thereof, and instead choosing to order her to help Kate and Sawyer, who had somehow managed to escape amidst everything that had been happening, to get off the island. To be honest, Ben hadn't had much of a choice. It was either them or him. If he failed to release them, he doubted Jack would have finished the surgery and he would have been dead. With Kate and Sawyer safely off of Hydra Island and rowing their way back to the main island, Jack had agreed to complete removing the tumor on Ben's spinal cord, and now he lay safe and sound in the hospital bed, stomach down upon the mattress.

His back hurt like hell. The pain medication had worn off and he thought about calling for more, but no one was to be seen or heard in the medical facility.

Suddenly the door opened and in stepped Tom. He looked ragged and worn, no doubt from the stress of the day, and he wasted no time in pulling a chair over to the bed and sitting within Ben's peripheral view.

"How are you feeling?" The older man asked and Ben scoffed.

"Do you really want to know, Mr. Friendly?"

Tom shook his head. "I guess not." There was a split second of awkward silence before Tom began to speak again. "Ben, we have two serious problems we need to consider."

"Now?" Ben remarked dryly. "After what I went through today?"

"Afraid so, and you know it." Ben just nodded for him to continue and focused on Tom's words. Maybe then his back wouldn't hurt so much.

"First of all, before we even begin, I thought you should know Karl escaped. Got into a rowboat with the other two."

Ben frowned. "And Alex?" His heart leaped into his throat. Had she gone with them?

"She's fine. The boat wouldn't fit all four of them. She's angry though. Finally figured out what you did to her boyfriend."

Ben would have shrugged but he knew that that wasn't a good idea at the moment. "She'll get over it sooner or later."

If Tom was shocked by the man's brazen answer, he didn't show it. "Alright, then, now for the two big issues. The one being Juliet."

From the corner of his eye, Ben shot the man a look which said 'are you serious?' "There are punishments for such crimes as those she committed today, and she is as much subject to them as anyone else."

"But that means death!" Tom argued.

"I know, Tom," Ben sighed, "But these laws were created for a reason, and we cannot allow a few to be exempt from them while the rest have to follow them. We just can't."

"I thought you cared for her."

Ben was silent and Tom just nodded. "Fine. I don't like it, but you're right. And about our other problem...Kate and Sawyer are off the island, which means they're going to tell they're friends about us and where we are."

"Yes, and I've already thought about that," Ben supplied. "We need to move as quickly as possible."

"Back to the barracks?"  
Ben nodded. "Yes. You need to get everyone prepared to leave. You, Jack, and myself will go ahead of everyone else and then the rest may follow behind us. I'm trusting in you to make sure that no trace of our being here will exist."

Tom stood up. "I'll take care of it," he replied obediently and then he left.

Ben just closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

_2 years ago_...

"It's just a cold, Ben," Juliet gave him a small smile. "I don't really see why you needed to come all the way down here to get a diagnosis. The clinic's a lot closer."

Ben smirked. "Maybe I just needed an excuse to come see you." He watched as Juliet stepped back slightly and he saw a faint blush on her neck.

"That's sweet, Ben. But I think Ethan would've been just as pleased to see you." Her mouth quirked upwards as she teased him and he couldn't help but chuckle as he watched her turn away from him and wash her hands in the sink.

"But I wouldn't have been as 'pleased' to see him, as you put it." Ben watched as her shoulders tensed. He admired everything about her. Her golden locks, the supple curve of her neck, the tilt of her chin as she looked down, the way her skin turned bright red if he said just the right thing. He loved watching her blush.

Juliet turned back around and gave him a smile, though she seemed uneasy. "Thank you, Ben, but I'm nothing special. Just a damned fertility doctor who can't solve the damned deaths of these women and their babies." Though she only muttered the last part, he could hear the anger in her voice and he shook his head.

"You're doing the best you can, Juliet, and I am confident that you will find what you're looking for."

"How?"

"Because that's why we hired you. We wouldn't have done so if we didn't have faith in your abilities." He took three steps towards her. "Best you remember that."

She nodded her head. "I'll try."

Ben just smiled at her. "Good." There was silence for several minutes. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't comfortable either. Ben licked his lips. "Juliet, I wondered – " he stuttered and she just looked at him. "That is – if you would like to come over to my place tonight? I have a ham that's just begging to be roasted and I don't know if Alex will be home. You know teenage girls. Anyways, I would be delighted if you could join me?" He held his breath and waited for an answer.

Her eyes betrayed no emotion as she seemed to think about it. His spirit fell when Juliet shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ben, I really am, but I can't tonight. I have loads of paperwork to do." Ben could spot a lie a mile away. After all, lying was his specialty. He didn't know what hurt more: the fact that she denied him, or that she had lied.

"Well," he plastered on a sympathetic smile, "That's too bad. I hope you'll reconsider?" He cocked his head as he waited for an answer.

Again, she refused. "I just can't tonight, Ben. Perhaps some other time." He knew there wouldn't be 'some other time'. He fought back the surge of anger within him. For all he knew, she could be spending the night with Goodwin. His skin twitched and he tried hard not to scowl.

"Fine," he replied evenly before he gave a quick smile. "I best be going."

"Yes. Bye, Ben."

"Goodbye, Juliet."


	14. Chapter 14

_**I've been without internet for the last three days so that is why I've been unable to upload. I've been sitting on this chapter for four days and I'm so excited to be uploading it now!**_

_** Thanks to thewhitekitten and DrunkenOfficer for making my week with your wonderful reviews!**_

_** I love you all!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

The barracks looked exactly as they had when their inhabitants had left over a week ago. The homes were quiet and the windows dark. The Others were led by the light of the torches; Tom knelt down and punched in the code to the pylon fence, the hum from the electricity immediately coming to a halt. The men and women passed through unharmed, and they walked up from the beach and into the jungle. Home was not far away now. Four men carried Ben on a stretcher through the dense combination of underbrush and vines. He bit his tongue to keep from moaning in pain. Though they tried to be as calm as they could, walking through the jungle was not an easy task, and with each toss and turn and bounce, a jarring pain would shoot up Ben's back.

The sight of the bungalows made the men and women cheer. Hydra Island was not their home and it lacked the amenities that the barracks provided. With warm showers, good food, and electricity, it was no wonder that they all seemed to rush to their homes as fast as their feet could carry them. Good thing too, because Ben was just itching to finally lay in a soft bed and rest his weary body. Traveling had not been the wisest choice, even Jack had warned against it. But they had had no choice. With Sawyer and Kate having escaped back to the mainland, the other survivors would waste no time in finding a way to cross the ocean and rescue their beloved surgeon. The Others were strong but there would have been bloodshed, one thing that Ben did not desire at the moment.

Once the four men brought him to his own bungalow, they placed him inside the threshold and then they rushed to the clinic, only to return about a half an hour later with a hospital bed and a wheelchair, both of which they put into his room. The thought made Ben's mouth twist into a grimace. He hated being weak, sickly, and unhealthy. It made him feel vulnerable in ways he had never felt before. They moved to help carry him into his bedroom and his gut clenched. His pride was internally screaming and he couldn't send the men away soon enough.

Then, he was alone.

He heard Alex getting a glass of water and he hoped that she would at least come and say goodnight to him. She hadn't so much as looked at Ben since she had discovered just what measures he had gone through to keep her and Karl separated. She walked down the hall and passed his door. For one split second, she glanced at him and their eyes met. Her face turned hard as stone and she continued down the hall. Ben heard her door slam with a ferocity that he had never heard before, and, coming from Alex, that was a surprise. He winced when he heard it.

How had they ever gotten to this point? And how had he failed to screw things up so fast and terribly as he had?

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Ben emerged from the shadows and entered the encirclement of tents. It was the most recent camp the 'hostiles' had set up. With each time they moved, they came closer and closer to the Dharma Initiative. Now, they were very close to the boundary line, the pylon fence was the only thing separating them from the men, women, and children on the other side. Of course, the fence wasn't a problem anymore. They knew the code, thanks to the newest member of their group, but they were still waiting patiently. Now, was not the moment to act. They had to be patient.

His thoughts briefly flickered to Annie who was within the barracks. It was nearly eleven at night. She would be in bed fast asleep by now. But Ben had been called by Widmore to fulfill a certain mission: kill an insane French woman who was a menace to the Island. The moment Ben had found out about the child, though, he had been unable to do it (something he refused to reflect on at the moment), which was how he had ended up back here with said child in his arms and a prayer on his lips. He hoped Charles would understand.

With bated breath, Ben stepped before them. Charles eyed him. "Well? Did you do it?"

"We had a-" he hesitated, "Complication." Just then, the child decided to wail and all eyes turned to the bundle he was holding in his arms.

Charles' brows furrowed. "I'm sorry...is that a...baby?" It was very quiet all of the sudden and Ben's heart thumped wildly in his chest. This man was their leader, and he seemed displeased. Which Ben had expected. "Your orders were to exterminate that woman," Charles' tone was hard.

"Why? She's no threat to us. She's insane, Charles. Besides," he licked his lips, "You didn't tell me she had a child. What was it I was supposed to do?"

"Kill it," came the ugly response and Ben felt sick to his stomach.

He shook his head and argued back. "It's not an 'it', this is a child."

Charles looked to Richard and then stood up and approached Ben. "You might find this difficult to understand, Benjamin," he began, "Every decision I've made has been about protecting this island."

"Is killing this baby what Jacob wants?"

There was silence and Ben knew the answer. He waited for Charles to respond. He waited for Richard to intervene, but there was nothing. No one moved to help him. Even young Ethan had taken a step back and out of Charles' view. He licked his lips and then held the child out to Widmore. "Then, here she is. You do it." His eyes never blinked as he stared at his leader. He could see the flicker of surprise on Charles' face as the man realized the tables had been turned.

Within seconds, Charles just smirked. He turned away and walked into his tent, pulling the flap behind him. Ben had angered the man, this much he knew, but he wasn't afraid, and nor did he feel guilty. How could he when he looked down and saw the pink face of the baby staring up at him? Her brown eyes found his and he shifted so that she was once again cradled in his arms.

When Ben looked up, he found that everyone was staring at him, even Richard. The man seemed shocked by the turn of events. He seemed shocked by the sight of the child being held in Benjamin's arms. But no one said anything. No one shouted or protested. And it was Ben who once again broke the silence, this time speaking to Richard. "I'll keep her," he said in a quiet voice and the man only nodded. There was nothing more to say. But Ben's life was about to change forever.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

Juliet knocked on the door, and when there was no answer, she walked on in. She didn't spare a second glance around the place as she walked through the living area and down the hall. She stopped when she reached Ben's door and she knocked once.

"Tom told me I needed to come in and check on you," she spoke softly as she entered the room.

He smirked and replied in a dry tone, "Well, thanks for caring, but it won't be necessary. Besides, isn't Jack my surgeon?"

Juliet closed the door and stepped closer, but she stayed a good distance away from the bed. "Tom took Jack to his bungalow to get settled."

"Fine. Then let's get on with it." He tried to sit himself up, but it was futile and ended with him gritting his teeth to fight back a groan. Without saying a word, Juliet walked up to him and helped him. He smiled tightly in thanks and then was silent.

"On a range of one to ten, how much pain do you have?"  
"I just had a major surgery, Juliet. What do you think my pain level is at?"

Juliet scowled at his tone. "You can continue to be a complete ass, Ben, or you can just shut up and let me do my job." She watched as his eyes widened in shock. She had never spoken to him like that before.

"Alright, Juliet, alright," he replied calmly, "But you must understand my contention. Not everyone is comfortable with letting their would-be killer become their doctor."

Her eyes flashed in anger. "Can you blame me? Can you honestly blame me, Ben, for wanting you dead?"

"Yes, Juliet, I-"

"You killed him, Ben! And you just expect me to forget about that? To just move on and act like it never happened? Like everything is fine?"  
"I didn't kill him, Juliet! Ana Lucia did."

"But that's what you wanted, and that's exactly what you knew would happen!"

Ben let out a loud sigh of frustration and strove to maintain calmness, or at least the illusion thereof. "Juliet, is this what we've been reduced to? One minute we're exchanging pleasantries, and the next we're ready to tear each other's throats out. I don't want that. I never wanted that."

Juliet just nodded. "Fine, if you want me to act as if everything is normal, I will. But don't ask me to like you."

"I'm not asking anything, and you don't have to pretend with me."

"I think I do."

She crossed her arms and just stared at him until the hardness of his eyes grew to be too much for her to bear and she had to look away. "...thank you by the way. I know I should be dead by now."

"Don't thank me, Juliet. It was Jack who bargained for your life. It would seem that you'll finally be getting off this island after all." She looked at him in confusion. He sighed and began to explain. "In exchange for finishing the surgery, Jack wanted me to let you go free. I believe the submarine leaves at the end of the week."

"I'm going home?" She echoed in disbelief. Ben merely nodded and Juliet decided to leave the matter alone for now. Her heart was soaring, but he looked miserable. "So..." she began awkwardly. "How's Alex?"  
Ben scoffed. "I've lost all hope, Juliet. She hates me."

"You tend to have a habit of doing that," she replied coldly. Ben's eyes grew sad but she didn't even try to rectify what she had said.

"Perhaps you are right. But she's still my daughter. Why can't she see that what I did was for her own good?"

"Because attempting to brainwash her boyfriend was really the best way to handle the situation," she replied sarcastically.

"Thank you for your opinion, Juliet." His voice was dripping with an equal amount of sarcasm. Then, he looked down at the comforter and began to fiddle with it. "Never mind, Juliet. You honestly believe I'm getting what I deserve. You can leave now." It was silent for a moment and he thought that Juliet must have actually left, but when he looked back up, he saw that she was still standing there. Her eyes were hard, her arms were crossed, and she seemed to be deep in thought. Ben just stared at her.

"You can do nothing but give her time," Juliet finally spoke, "And hope that she has it in her to actually forgive you for all the pain you've caused her."

"She's nothing like she used to be." He sighed. "It's like she's not even my daughter anymore."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

_Three days after the Purge..._

Richard knocked on the door and when he heard a shout to enter he did so without hesitation. What he saw shocked him. The entire bungalow was in utter chaos. He had never seen the place look so neglected. And this was Ben's home. The man prided himself on his neatness.

"Ben?" He called as he stepped cautiously threw the mess of pillows, clothes, and nappies. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in here!" Came a voice. It was snappish and Richard could sense the irritation. He walked down the hall, toward the source of the sound, and into a room that was painted a pale pink. The room was bare, save for a few items that they had been able to salvage from the empty bungalows. There was a crib and a dresser, a changing table and a rocker. And in the center of it all stood Ben, his back to Richard. Alex was draped over his shoulder and he was rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Shhh," Ben whispered but his voice was far from gentle. "Shh, can't you just sleep? I've fed you, washed you, changed you twice. What else could you possibly want?"

Richard nearly laughed, but he managed to contain it. "Having trouble, Ben?"

Ben whirled around and frowned. "She hasn't slept for nine hours. I don't know what's wrong with her."

"Here, let me take her," Richard held out his arms and Ben relinquished the child to him. It was a matter of minutes before Alex finally settled down. First, she stopped her screaming, and then, she began to coo. When Richard finally placed her down in the crib, the child's eyes began to droop until she started snoring softly.

Ben let out a barely audible sigh of relief, lest he wake her up, and then he walked out of the room and down the hall, not even caring to pick up the stray items he had thrown on the ground in his distress. When Richard finally got a good look at the man's face, he saw big gray circles under his bloodshot eyes. He looked exhausted and his entire frame seemed to tremble. "Want some tea? I'm making some tea." Ben reached for the tea kettle and filled it with water. But when he reached for the mugs, they both slipped from his shaking fingers and crashed upon the counter top. "Damn," he swore, but he didn't even try to pick the broken pieces up.

Richard observed him and gave him a strange look. "You alright, Ben?"

"Of course I'm all right," he snapped back, "Just tired."

"You seem...frazzled." It was true. Ben never cracked under pressure, that was one thing Richard had admired about him. But he was visibly shaking, and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. Richard frowned. "Is this about your father?" He asked. Ben's head shot up.

"Of course not. It's never about him," he spat out.

Richard nodded. "It's alright to feel this way, Ben. It's only been three days since all of that happened. But they needed to be purged so that a new generation could arise and rule the island. They all, including your father, needed to die."

"Spare me the lecture, I've heard it all before." Ben sighed tiredly. "Why are you here?"

"To see how you are getting along with Alex."

"Well," he sighed again, "I guess it's as it should be expected, considering I've only been taking care of her for three weeks now."

Richard nodded. "Do you need any help?" Ben just shook his head, some of his old stubbornness returning. The tea kettle whistled and Ben grabbed a new set of mugs, this time without breaking either of them. He didn't look up at Richard when he handed him his cup of tea, and the man knew that something was still bothering him. "Ben..." he ventured cautiously, "Besides your father, was there anyone else that you lost? Anyone you cared about?"

"No," came the all-too-sharp reply and Richard decided to drop the topic.

"Alright," he replied softly. He took a sip of tea and gulped it down quickly when the burning hot liquid scathed his throat. "But it's only natural to grieve, Ben. A life lost is never something to take lightly. If you didn't grieve, then I would question what kind of a man you were."

Ben was silent and just nursed his cup. He thought of telling Richard everything that was on his mind. Alex had never cried this much when _she _had been here. He scrubbed his worn face with his hand.

Richard noticed how much older the man looked than his tender age of twenty-four. He frowned again and pushed aside his cup of tea, left unfinished. "Well," he gave a reassuring smile. "I have other business to attend to, other people to see. If you need anything, you just let me know. Okay?" Ben nodded his thanks and Richard got up.

The moment the door closed, Ben felt a split second of relief. Then, he heard Alex start to scream all over again. As he groaned and began to walk back down the hall towards her room, he couldn't think of anything else that he wanted to do more than to just scream himself.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thank you thewhitekitten and DrunkenOfficer for your reviews, and thank you Twinkiefairy for favoriting my story! I hope it meets your highest expectations and beyond!**_

_** Also, if I haven't done this already, then I'm doing it now. If you haven't checked out thewhitekitten's story "If I Never Knew You" then you really must. It's a Ben/OC story that has me constantly sitting at the edge of my seat. I swear I bite my fingernails twice as much when she's in between updates!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

__It had been two weeks since Annie had had her first encounter in twenty years with Benjamin Linus. Since then, she had _finally _begun to calm down. The hair didn't prickle on her neck every time she heard movement out in the jungle. She didn't worry that every time she ventured out she would run into him again and then she would be prematurely faced with the need to take her revenge. She had sometimes been so worried that he would just emerge from the underbrush and kill her before she would ever have the chance to do the same to him.

As much as she hated to admit it, Annie's thoughts had scarcely focused on anything but the enigma that was Ben for the past two weeks. How he had changed in twenty years, the strange lilt of his voice that remained unchanged, the coldness of his eyes, the hard lines around his mouth and forehead. Every time she thought of the first moment she had laid eyes on him in so many years she got sick to her stomach with a feeling that was so very close to anxiety. She had had dreams of what that meeting would be like, and it hadn't been anything like what she had expected.

All of the sudden, she heard the quick succession of twigs snapping and she knew that something or someone was fast approaching her. Annie quickly grabbed her rifle and held it in her arms, pointing it in the direction of the sound.

But the moment Danielle appeared from the underbrush, Annie sighed a quick sigh of relief and placed her rifle down. "What has you in such a hurry?"

Danielle put her hands on her knees and bent over as she tried to catch her breath. Her thick French accent sounded even deeper in her breathlessness. "I came to tell you," she gulped for air, "Your chance has come."

"My chance?" Annie asked, puzzled. "What do you mean?" Danielle gave her a pointed look and Annie felt her heart catch in her throat. "Ben?" The woman nodded as she took a large swallow of water from her canteen. "Where?" Annie tried to keep her voice from shaking, whether from excitement or nervousness, she didn't know. Either way, she knew that she would hardly be afforded this opportunity again. It was time to take her revenge.

"North, about a fifteen minute run from here."

"So close?" Annie furrowed her brows as she slung her rifle around her shoulder. "Why is he so far into the jungle?"

Danielle shrugged. "I don't know. But he has another man with him. I heard Ben say something to him."

"What?"

"He said that he had something to show the man. Said it was where he came from."

"The pit," Annie answered immediately. She knew it was close, and it was the only thing that made sense. "They must be close to it then."

Danielle nodded. "I would say that they're there already. If you hurry, you could just make it in time."Annie nodded and got ready to run, but Danielle stopped her with an arm. "Good luck."

Annie grinned and took off running. Now was the time to take her revenge. Now was the time to fulfill her destiny. Now was the time to kill Benjamin Linus.

0o0

Annie knew where the pit was. She had stumbled upon it one day in her search for food, and the sight had made her scream. The bodies of so many people, she recognized their Dharma uniforms, and she knew that these were friends that she had known for years. Her family. She hadn't had a strong enough stomach or resolve to dig through the pile of hundreds to find her mom and her dad, but she knew that they must be there. Somewhere. By the looks of things, the bodies had been laying there in the heat and mugginess of the jungle for about a weak. The flesh was rotten and mostly eaten by flies and gnats. The smell of putrefaction made Annie throw up right there. In a mix of tears and vomit, she had mourned the loss of her entire people. 

She wondered if Ben would be there when she got to the pit, or if fate would be so cruel as to allow her to miss her chance yet again. But she didn't have to ponder long. In that instant she heard the sound of gunfire. One shot and her heart plummeted. She remembered Danielle's words and hoped to everything that was holy that the other man hadn't also noticed what a manipulative bastard Ben was and had taken his chance to kill him. She grit her teeth. If Ben was already dead...

Annie took off running towards the pit as fast as she could, but when she heard footsteps coming towards her she quickly dug her heels into the ground to stop. Whoever it was, whether it was Ben or this mystery man, someone was coming towards her. She unslung her rifle from her back and raised it up. She tried to unclench her muscles, but she only tensed up more as the man came closer and closer.

Then, she got a view of the person. It _was _Ben! The first thing she noticed, oddly enough, was that he was dressed in different clothes than the last time they had met. He was dressed in the way she remembered. The second thing was that he was walking with the use of a cane and he was limping. In his other hand was a pistol, the same one she guessed he had used to shoot the unlucky man.

In a moment, he looked up from the ground and saw her standing there. His eyes widened with shock. Annie was standing a mere ten feet away and he had never even noticed.

"Hello, Ben," she called out and unlocked the safety on her gun. "I knew we would meet again. I just didn't expect it to be so soon."

He visibly stiffened; even from ten feet away, Annie could see that. She just wished she could know what was going on inside his brain at that moment. His eyes betrayed nothing.

"Annie," came his simple reply.

"Drop the gun please, Ben." He did as she asked without hesitation. Using the head of her rifle she motioned to his cane. "What happened?"

"There was a tumor on my spine. I had it removed."

Annie tried to hide her surprise. Ben had had cancer? Why did that make her gut twist so uncomfortably? "I thought no one could get cancer on the island?" She asked to keep herself distracted. It shouldn't matter to her that he had cancer.

Ben just shrugged. "I thought so too."

Why did he seem so abominably calm and collected?!

"I assume you expect to kill me?"

"Right here, right now," Annie replied in a hard tone and ignored her trembling hands as she raised the rifle to point it at his head. She took slow steps towards him, inching closer and closer. She had never killed before. Well, she had killed animals, reptiles, birds, but never another human being. She ignored the nausea that was climbing from her stomach to her throat. She felt as if she would throw up at any moment. Annie tried to focus on Ben. _This _was Ben. The man who had killed all of her people and who had left her for dead. Her eyes hardened and she prepared to take the shot. He didn't so much as flinch. "Goodbye, Benjamin." She closed her eyes and wrapped her finger around the trigger.

"Wait!" She heard him shout and when she opened her eyes, she saw his blue ones staring back at her. "You can't shoot me!"

Annie scoffed. "And why is that?"

"Because..." he licked his lips, "...because if you do every man, woman, and child on this island will die."

"You're not that irreplaceable, Ben."

"No, I mean it," he pressed. "People are coming to this island, people with plans to kill everyone here. I'm the only one that knows what to do. Kill me, and you won't just be taking one life, but you'll sacrifice hundreds more."

Annie frowned. "How do I know that you're telling the truth?"

Ben just shook his head. "You don't."

Annie had a choice. She could kill him or not. Ben was a liar. More than once she had fallen for his lies and it had cost her everything. But what if, by some miracle, he was actually telling the truth? What if there were actually people coming to this island? Could she really bear to have all of that blood on her hands? Deep down, Annie wasn't willing to take that risk. Slowly, she lowered her rifle. "Fine. But if you're lying to me..."

"I'm not," he insisted.

"I _will_ kill you, Ben. Don't think that this has saved you forever."

He smirked and she hated him for it. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Now what?" She gritted her teeth. Once again, he had somehow managed to squirm back into the position of authority.

"Now we go back to my people and warn them." He walked passed her and in the direction of what she supposed must be his camp.

She stopped him with her arm. "What makes you think I'm coming with you?"

"Because you'll want to keep your eye on me," he replied calmly. "So that you can kill me." The calmness with which he stated that left her blood running cold. He didn't fear her at all, or what she could do to him. She could shoot him in the back of the head at that exact moment and he would be none the wiser. But somehow he _knew _she wouldn't, leastwise not now. Annie just scowled and followed him.

Her plan for revenge hadn't gone quite the way she had planned.

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_** I know that there were no flashbacks in this chapter, but I really wanted to keep it going at a fast pace, and I felt that a flashback would have interrupted the direness of this chapter. I hope ya'll forgive me! :) Don't worry, we'll see more Annie flashbacks in the future.**_

_** Also, is it really corny that I was listening to "Who Wants To Live Forever" by Queen while writing this? I almost feel like this is Ben's anthem, considering any day could be his last the way everyone is hell-bent on seeing him die! :P**_

_** !LOVE YOU ALL!**_


	16. Chapter 16

_ One week ago..._

In eight days so much had happened to Ben that looking down the end of an insane woman's rifle had not been the strangest happenstance of the past week.

Since their arrival back at the barracks from Hydra Island, a whirlwind of events had taken place for the Others. For starters, three of the Oceanic 815 survivors found their way to the barracks: Jarrah, Austen, and Locke. How they had managed to get over the pylon fence was beyond even Ben's imagination. Austen and Jarrah attempted to break Jack free but the surgeon refused to return to the beach with them; meanwhile, Locke wasted no time in finding Ben.

To make a long story short, Locke blew up the submarine, with a subtle act of manipulation on Ben's part. With no chance off of the Island, Jack and Sayid escaped. Ben tasked Juliet with the responsibility to earn Austen's trust and infiltrate the survivor's camp. And then, the Others packed up their belongings and left the barracks before the rest of the survivors could attack them.

But it didn't all end there. No, the madness was just about to begin.

Locke chose to come with them. Ben set up a test for John through the capture and imprisonment of John's estranged father. Ben told Locke that he could only become one of them if he killed his father and took revenge for all of the harm the man had caused him.

Two days later, John Locke returned to their makeshift camp in the jungle with his dead father slung over his shoulder. He wasted no time in making the surprising demand to see Jacob, which then led to Ben leading John across the Island to a small, remote cabin, neglected by time. Of course, Ben knew that Jacob wouldn't be there, after all, he had never seen Jacob with his own eyes, but he still put on a good show for John.

But John actually _heard _Jacob say something, which was the strange part, since Jacob wasn't there. And that caused Ben to become jealous and angry. He had taken John to the Purge pit and had shot him, watching without remorse as the man fell down into the pit and landed on the carcasses of the dead. Ben asked him what Jacob said and John told him. _Help me._ That's what John was able to hear, but Ben wasn't.

Ben left John for dead and began the long trek back to the camp.

That's when he ran into Annie. Again.

_ "Hello, Ben," she called out and unlocked the safety on her gun. "I knew we would meet again. I just didn't expect it to be so soon."_

_ "Annie," came his simple reply._

_ "Drop the gun please, Ben." He did as she asked without hesitation. Using the head of her rifle she motioned to his cane. "What happened?"_

_ "There was a tumor on my spine. I had it removed."_

_ "I thought no one could get cancer on the island?" _

_ Ben just shrugged. "I thought so too. I assume you expect to kill me?"_

_ "Right here, right now," Annie replied in a hard tone and raised the rifle to point it at his head. She took slow steps towards him, inching closer and closer. Her eyes hardened and she prepared to take the shot. He didn't so much as flinch. "Goodbye, Benjamin." She closed her eyes and wrapped her finger around the trigger._

_ "Wait!" He shouted."You can't shoot me!"_

_ Annie scoffed. "And why is that?"_

_ "Because..." he licked his lips, "...because if you do every man, woman, and child on this island will die."_

And now he was escorting her back to the Others.

Fate was not on his side.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

"Ben, who's this?"

"She's merely one in a long list of people who are out for my blood. Pay no attention to her."

Richard actually chuckled and turned to Annie. "So what was it he did to you?"

"Exterminated my entire people," Annie replied hotly and Richard seemed taken aback.

"Actually, Annie," Ben explained, "You're looking at the man who ordered their execution. Small world, isn't it?" He mused.

Now it was Richard's turn to gape. "Ben...I don't understand. Who is this?" Instead of replying, the man just limped away in the direction of his tent. Annie began to follow, refusing to let him out of her sight. It was Richard who called after him. "I thought you said everyone died in the Purge!"

"All but one, I'm afraid." Ben could hear Richard following him and he sighed. He knew that there would be an inevitable amount of explaining to do, and that there just wasn't enough time.

He lifted the flap to his tent and walked in, crossing over quickly to his desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a case of bullets, and then he shoved it into his pocket. "Richard, I understand you have questions, but we really have no time to answer them. We're all in danger. You need to lead everyone here to the temple, and I have to get to Jack before-" Just as Ben was trying to exit the tent, Richard stepped in front of him and crossed his arms.

"Jack can wait."

"No, Richard, he really can't."

"Why?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "Because there are people coming to this Island, and if I don't get to Jack, Lord knows he'll be stupid enough to actually make contact with them, and then we're all as good as dead."

For a moment it seemed Richard was actually going to step aside, but then he looked Ben hard in the eyes. "Well then, Ben. I guess you better talk fast. Because I want to know who she is," he pointed a finger at Annie, "And where the hell she came from. I was made to believe that everyone died in the Purge."

"And I told you," Ben bit back, "That she was the only one who survived."

"You're telling me this woman survived in the jungle, alone, for almost twenty years?" Richard looked as if he didn't believe him.

Ben just shrugged. "Ask her yourself."

Richard raised a pointed brow at Annie and she nodded.

"I did."

"How?"

Annie just shrugged. "Don't ask me. I just took it day by day. I had no choice."

"But how did you escape? Everyone was supposed to be inside that village. No one knew we were coming, no one was supposed to leave."

"I'm sorry I interfered with your plans," she replied dryly. "But someone let me escape, when perhaps he should've just let me die." Annie gave a pointed look at Ben and Richard's eyes widened. Once again, he turned to the man standing in front of him, and it was Ben who was now on trial.

"You?" Richard's voice betrayed his surprise. "You let her go?" Ben's silence and hard stare were confirmation enough. "You disobeyed me."

Ben sighed. "Richard-"

"There was a reason we agreed that there would be no survivors!" Richard shouted. "It was so that this-" he motioned to Annie "-would never happen!"

"I'm handling it." Ben gritted his teeth as Richard just scoffed.

"Really? Because this woman's out for _your _blood, and _you _haven't even done anything about it yet. Why?"

"I don't understand."

"Why, Ben? Killing never mattered to you before. When you had a threat, you exterminated it. Simple as that. So, why-" Richard paused, and Ben's eyes widened as he realized Richard had finally pieced it all together. He closed his eyes and waited for the accusations to come. "Oh, I see. _This _is the woman you spoke of, the woman you 'cared' for. Isn't she? She's the one you lost."

Ben had gone surprisingly pale. "Shut up," he growled and turned away.

"So, what then, Ben? You decided to let her go, out into the jungle, and hoped that she would just die? But then, it wouldn't be your fault, would it? No. She would be just one less life whose blood you wouldn't have on your hands."

Quick as lightening, Ben had whipped around and raised the gun in his hands. It was pointed straight at Richard's head. "I said _shut up._" His hand was visibly shaking and his face was still pale.

"You can't bear the guilt of what you've done, Ben. To her. That's why you have a gun pointed at me. I know you won't kill me."

"He's right, Ben. Put the gun down." He heard the click of the rifle and knew Annie had raised hers at him.

"Annie," he gritted his teeth, "You don't want to do that."

She scoffed. "Why not?"

"Because this is my camp, my grounds. You kill me, and they'll have your blood faster than you could even think."

"I think I'm fine with that."

"And don't forget the people coming to this island. If you think Richard can save all of us, you're wrong. I'm the only one who knows why they're here and how to stop them."

"You know what I think, Ben? I think you're lying, and I'm about to call your bluff."

Ben shook his head. "Ask Richard." In turn, Richard nodded, signifying that all Ben said was true. Ben was relieved when Annie lowered the rifle and he heard her sling it over her shoulder. She had no choice, and fortunately, she had seen it that way.

Ben did the same with his gun and lowered it from Richard's forehead. The man didn't look at all fazed, while Ben still looked sick to his stomach.

"You have a group of survivors to catch," Richard said before he exited the tent. Ben turned around to look at Annie.

"So, are you coming or not?"

"Hell, yeah."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Are you coming or not?" Ben called out to her.

"Hold your horses, Benjamin Linus," she scolded, "I need to get my books."

"Forget your books. I've got something to show ya."

She didn't think she had ever seen him so excited, and it thrilled her enough to actually leave her books behind. When she finally reached him, she frowned. "What are my students going to think if they see their teacher leaving the school without any of her things?"

He saw that her frown was clearly fake and he just scoffed. "Like they'll actually care."

"I know," she said, her mouth finally twisting into a smile. "I just needed to come up with some reason to scold you."

"Scold me? For what?"

"For dragging me away so early."

Ben shrugged. "At least I waited until school was out."

"Yeah," she teased, "_One minute_ after it was out."

"I still waited."

Annie laughed and grabbed onto his arm. "So, where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise," was his simple reply, but Annie noticed that he was trying to fight back a smile.

For the rest of the way they just walked in silence.

At nineteen, Annie had become the youngest teacher the Island had ever had, and she had held the position for close to three months now. Ben had teased her when he had first learned of her new job. Which, in turn, had led to her teasing him about his crappy employment as a janitor. Some part of her had felt that she had actually hurt him, but he was Ben. He always seemed so impervious to pain. Still, they hadn't really talked in a whole week. Annie had just decided to go and apologize when he had shown up at the school house. Maybe he wasn't hurt after all.

It was a long walk. Several times Annie wondered where Ben could possibly be taking her, and whether he had, through unfortunate means, gotten lost, and was just too proud to admit it. But just as she was about to buck up and ask him, they emerged from the thick jungle and onto what appeared to be a small cove on the edge of the Island. For miles and miles, blue ocean was all they could see, and the sun felt so good as it kissed their faces.

"Ben, how did you find this place?" She asked in amazement.

"Just stumbled upon it one day. I thought you'd like it." He looked at her with big, questioning eyes, and she grinned in response.

"It's beautiful! Does anyone else know about it?"

Ben shook his head. "Not that I know of. The trail leading here is pretty overgrown and looks like it hasn't been used in several years."

They sat down at the edge of the cove, on a bed of rocks, far away enough from the tide so that they wouldn't get wet. They just sat, in harmonious silence, because they didn't have to speak. They just watched the sun as it fell lower and lower in the sky. The clouds became blood orange in color and the splendor of it was enough to make Annie wish that this moment could last forever.

She scooted closer to Ben and laid her head on his shoulder as she sighed in contentment. "I love you," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. She felt him tense beneath her. Annie raised her head just a bit so that she could see his face. "I've just never told you that before." And without saying anything else she rested her head back on his shoulder.

Ben just nodded and remained silent, allowing himself to lay his head on top of hers.


	17. Chapter 17

** _Wow. I've been putting off this chapter because I didn't know exactly how I wanted to begin. But then, the inspiration fairy decided to pay me a visit, and I am so proud of how it turned out. It's an extra long one too so I hope you enjoy it!_**

_** Disclaimer: I do not own anything of LOST. I don't own the characters. I don't own what original partial clips of the script that I did choose to use. I don't own Ben, Alex, Annie, Jack, or any of those other characters. If I did, then I wouldn't be sitting alone in my bedroom writing fanfiction about them, now would I?**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o**_

"Where are you going?"

"Hello, Alex."

"I said," she replied a bit more firmly, "Where are you going?"

Ben stood up from the ground and placed the pack on his shoulder. "Well, I thought I might go for a walk! See if I can't find Jack and his friends."

Alex lifted her chin defiantly. "I'm coming with you."

"Alright."

His response took her off guard and she frowned. "What?"

He sighed. "I said it was alright. In fact, I think it's a good idea. I mean, you do want to see Karl again, don't you?" Her eyebrows rose as he paused. "Get your pack. I'm leaving in 10 minutes."

Just then, Richard walked up to Ben. They hadn't spoken since their run-in earlier. Ben wondered if Richard still had hard feelings towards him. "There's 40 of them. And you're alone. They're gonna do whatever it takes to get off this island. What do you think is gonna happen when you get there?"

"I'm going to talk them out of it."

It was the cold, hard confidence in Ben's voice, far sharper than any sword, that silenced Richard. He nodded slowly and walked away. _Yes, definitely still some hard feelings_.

Ben stood and prepared to wait, but his daughter surprised him. Within five minutes of waiting she had emerged from her tent with a pack on her shoulder. She walked up to Ben with a hard stare. "I'm ready."

"Good. I hope you don't mind company."

Alex furrowed her brows in confusion before Ben motioned to the woman that was standing behind her. Her hair was fiery red and her face was emotionless. "Who is this?" She turned back to Ben. "Dad?"

Ben saw Annie's eyes grow wider and he fought the urge to look at her. "Alex..." he began and Annie visibly tensed, "This is Annie. She's coming with us."

Alex turned once again to face the strange woman. "Where'd you come from?"

"I live in the jungle," came Annie's simple response. But even in the heat of the day, the woman's skin had become pale. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. "Alex?" She then breathed before cautiously stretching out a hand to stroke the girl's cheek. Her touch was anything but rough. "Is that really you?"

Alex frowned and took a step away. "Do I know you?"

"You were just a baby. I used to help look after you. You've grown up."

"Yeah. Sixteen years tends to do that to a person," Alex responded in a slow, uncertain voice. Who was this woman, and how come she had never seen her before?

But before she could ask any more questions, Ben interrupted them. "Well, now that everyone is acquainted, let's go."

Without saying anything else, the two women followed him into the jungle.

Silence reigned as the three figures trekked through the dense jungle. Ben didn't want to talk to her, and Annie had nothing to say to him. Twenty years without ever seeing each other, and they found that despite all that had happened they really had nothing to say to each other. So, they just didn't.

But finally, Annie couldn't help but groan. "Do you even know where the hell you're going?"

Ben flicked his head towards her, more out of surprise that she had finally decided to speak than anything else. But he didn't say anything and just continued to walk. He heard her scoff behind him.

"Am I supposed to take that as a 'no'? Because I really can't read you like I used to be able to." He flinched but remained silent. Contrary to what he had assumed, Annie refused to take the bait and get angry at his silence. She just continued to follow him. He heard her light footfalls behind him. She had grown to be stealthy in the last twenty years of living in this jungle. But, then again, he supposed she had had to.

Alex came to walk beside her. "He doesn't talk much, unless it's important. I don't think we've had a normal conversation in six months."

"That doesn't sound like him."

Alex's eyebrow shot up. "You sound as if you know him?"

"I did. A long time ago." For a second, Annie actually sounded mournful before her voice hardened. "But not anymore. Things have changed."

"How?"  
But Alex's question remained unanswered.

Another ten minutes passed in silence. The jungle was becoming less dense as they continued to walk, and he knew that they were about to come out into the open. He stopped short and forced himself to look at her. His eyes never even blinked. "When we find Jack you're not to say anything. Understood?"

"Why? Afraid I'll screw up your manipulation tactics?"

He suppressed the desire to roll his eyes. "I'm just going to talk to him." Ben began to walk again.

"He's not going to listen, you know." Annie called to him.

"Why's that?" He replied a bit too roughly.

"Because this island's hell and he'll want to get off. I would do the exact same thing."

Ben stopped again. "Except you wouldn't because you know I'm telling the truth. People are coming to the Island and it won't be good. You know this. And one way or another, I will make Jack see it too."

"What happened to you?" She breathed out in disbelief. He was so _different_. If she didn't know any better, she would think that this Ben was an imposter, not the real thing. But, no. Ben had always been capable of this. Deep down, he had. She could remember the way his eyes would sometimes shine with an unfamiliar gleam, something that would, for just a split second, actually frighten her, and then it would be gone. This was the real him that had always been waiting to emerge.

"Quiet."

"Don't tell me-"

Faster than lightning, Ben whirled around, grabbed her between the shoulder blades with one hand and clamped the other one down on her mouth. His eyes were urgent, ordering her to be silent, and her heart leaped in her chest. How long had it been since she had had such close contact with anyone? Too bad this someone just happened to be Ben. She stared up into those blue eyes that she had used to get lost in, but they were hard and emotionless now.

"Dad, let her go!" Alex whispered harshly, but one warning look from Ben and she just crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.

Ben inclined his head and Annie looked over his shoulder to see that they had just reached the outskirts of the jungle. Not only that, but she heard voices too. Her eyes quickly flickered to Ben's and then she nodded her head to signal that she understood. Before he could respond she shoved him away and he released his hold on her. Slowly, they all crept closer to the outskirts of the jungle and hid themselves behind the underbrush.

They were looking out over a plain and right there, only twenty feet away or so, stood the group of survivors. There was one man in particular that caught Annie's eye. He was speaking and held the attention of everyone there. She knew that he must be their leader. Jack. The man Ben was after. In his hand was a radio, and she guessed that that must be the way to contact the dangerous people that were coming to the Island.

"Now what?" She whispered.

"Now-" he took his gun out of the back of his pants and checked to see that it was loaded before returning it to its place under his belt. "We talk." Just before he leaned forward to make himself known to the survivors, he stopped short and turned to her. His voice was harsh as he whispered to her. "If you try anything, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

She smirked. "Then why'd you let me keep my gun, if you were so nervous?"

"I imagined you wouldn't let me take it without a fight, and I have more pressing matters at hand. Don't try anything."

"Don't worry. You're safe...for now."

That seemed to be good enough for Ben and he motioned for her and Alex to follow as they emerged from the jungle and out onto the open plain.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

The door opened to reveal a shadowy silhouette standing in the doorway. Her bright red hair shown even brighter under the silvery light of the full moon.

"Ben?"

Her light voice penetrated his deep thoughts and he tried to offer her a small smile in return.

"It's late. What are you doing?" Ben visited her often, but never this late, never past nine o'clock. She bit her bottom lip in worry. What could be wrong?

"May I come in?" Came his quiet reply and she nodded her head before stepping aside to allow him into her home. "I hope I didn't wake you up," he offered apologetically as he saw that she was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and and a purple spaghetti-strapped tank.

Annie circled over to the dining room table and grabbed her gray sweatshirt to place it over her shoulders. She shook her head. "Nope. You caught me just in time." Her teeth flashed in a quick smile and then she frowned. "Ben? What are you holding?"

For the first time, Ben seemed to remember why he had come to her home in the first place. His eyes flickered from the bundle in his arms, back up to Annie, and then down to the bundle again. He licked his lips and then began to stutter out an answer. "It—well, I—I think I made a terrible mistake."

"What did you do?"

"Well-" he began and then gave up. "Just see for yourself." He held out the bundle to her, and the moment her arms wrapped around it, he backed away and turned his back to her. His hand swept across his face and he tried to keep from panicking.

Annie looked at him and then down at the warm object in her hands. Dare she look? Taking a deep breath, she took the edge of the blanket and unwrapped the bundle. A gasp tore from her lips at the pair of eyes that stared back at her. "Ben-" she choked on her words. "What—where did she come from?"

"I found her." He sighed and turned back around. "When I was out in the jungle."

"Why were you out there?"

"Annie-"

"Why, Ben?"

He was silent and she just stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. But he refused to tell her anything. "Who would do this to a child?" The disgust rang true in her voice.

Ben shrugged. "I don't know. Must've been one of the hostiles got pregnant and was too afraid to keep her. So they left her to die."

"People like that make me sick." Annie sniffled and found that actual tears were pricking at her eyes. "What do you intend to do with her then?"

"I'll keep her. There's nothing else to be done."

Annie nodded and looked down as the baby began to wail. She cradled her against her chest and sought to comfort the child as best as she could. "There's no one else you could give her to?" Annie shouted to Ben over the noise. "Mark and Helen have been trying to have a child for years."

Within seconds Ben had crossed over to her and taken the baby back into his arms. "No." His response was quick but Annie could read so much into it. Ben was shaking. Actually shaking. And the way he was holding the child. He _wanted _her.

"Alright," Annie replied calmly. "She must be hungry then." She left Ben and entered the kitchen where she began to prepare some warm milk. "Tomorrow you'll have to take her to the clinic, just to make sure everything's fine. And you should get some supplies. Bottles, nappies, blankets, things like that."

Ben nodded absent-mindedly and Annie didn't really think he was listening. He slowly began to walk towards her and into the kitchen. "I don't want to take her home," he admitted quietly, "Not with my father there."

"She could stay here."

Ben's head lifted sharply at Annie's suggestion. He nodded and gave her a small smile. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all. It's just me here anyway."

"Thank you," he breathed and Annie turned off the burner to the stove and removed the milk from the heat source.

"Now. How are we going to feed her?"

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

"Hello, Jack. We need to talk."

The survivors had all been shocked to see the man they most hated come out of the jungle with two women trailing behind him. They didn't know if this was some trap formulated by the Others to capture them, or if Ben had some other plan up his sleeve. Either way, they wouldn't trust him as far as they could throw him.

Jack took a step forward, but Ben glanced over to the woman behind him. The woman who had come here to the island. One of the dangerous ones. "Hi, I'm Benjamin." He threw her his most pleasant smile. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure-"

"Don't talk to him," Jack interrupted and then addressed Ben in a voice that was tainted with barely suppressed anger, "What do you want?"

"Just a moment of your time. To talk, you and me, alone."

"For what?"  
Ever the suspicious one. Ben's lips curled back into a smirk. "Jack, you've just killed seven of my people, the least you can give me is five minutes."

Jack seemed to be trying to judge whether or not to believe him. Kate walked up from behind. "He alone?" Jack asked.

Kate nodded. "There's only three sets of tracks, his and theirs."

"Who are they?" Jack nodded to the two women as he asked Ben the question.

"This is my daughter, Jack. And she-" he shot a quick glance at Annie, "Is an old friend."

Annie interjected. "Friend's a bit too strong of a word. More like enemy."

Ben's smirk faltered slightly but he recovered it before anyone else could notice. Jack thought a moment more and then he nodded his head. "Alright. You have five minutes."

Ben nodded his thanks and then turned to Annie. "You stay put and try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone." She didn't have time to respond as he turned and led Jack away so that the two could talk.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

After the baby had been fed and changed, one of Annie's old shirts was serving the purpose of a diaper, Ben took the child up into his arms and cradled her. His legs rocked back and forth as he shushed her to sleep. Within moments, the exhausted and worn baby was dead to the world. Ben just stood there and frowned. How could she be so comfortable with him? After what he had planned to do to her mother?

"Ben...?" Annie asked, her brows knit together in worry.

Ben turned around slowly and motioned with his head to the baby. "She's asleep."

"I can see that. Are you alright?" Annie walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I called you three times but you looked a million miles away."

"I'm fine," he assured her, "Just thinking."

Annie sighed. "I wonder if you'll ever tell me what's going on inside that brain of yours, Benjamin Linus. You used to, but you just don't anymore." She appeared hurt as she walked over to the couch and plopped down upon it, her elbows propped up onto her knees and her chin in her hands. "You seem like someone different lately, Ben, and it kinda scares me. It scares me because I don't know why you're changing and I can't stop it."

"Annie," Ben began as he moved to sit down next to her. One hand was still wrapped around the baby's body as he moved the other to rub the woman's back. "Some things are just better left unsaid."

"Not this." She turned to him and he saw that there were actually tears sparkling in the corners of her eye. "Whatever it is, Ben, whatever's troubling you...I want you to know that you can trust me." Her hand lifted to cup his cheek. "You can tell me anything."

Ben sighed and moved his hand so that he could hold hers, pressing her cool palm against his skin. "Her name is Alex."

Annie had not been expecting such a change in their conversation and she suppressed a groan. Why the hell wouldn't he open up to her?! "Alex," she said instead and gave him a soft smile, "That's nice. Where'd you come up with it?"  
He just shrugged. "I don't know. I just liked it."

"It's beautiful." Annie suppressed a yawn.

"You should get some sleep," Ben said softly.

"Okay." But instead of leaving, Annie leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Goodnight," she said before she laid back on the couch. Slowly, she lowered her hand from his cheek.

"Goodnight," came Ben's response, but Annie was already snoring softly.

He stayed up for two more hours, just staring down at the sleeping bundle in his arms, until he too could no longer keep his eyes open, and he allowed himself to fall asleep. Annie's head slid to rest on his shoulder.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

After nearly ten minutes of waiting, Kate was about ready to jump up and go make sure that Ben hadn't somehow gotten the best of Jack and murdered him or something. Luckily, she didn't have to.

Jack came into view a couple of seconds later and he was dragging a bloody body back with him. Murmurs spread throughout the crowd and even Annie's heart leaped in her chest. Was Ben...?

"Is he dead?" Kate voiced the very question that had been on Annie's tongue.

Jack shook his head. "Tie him up," he said as he threw Ben to the ground. "He's coming with us." Annie watched as Jack stormed past them and Kate followed. When they were gone, her eyes took in Ben's horrible appearance. A torrent of blood was flowing from his nose. Several cuts were over his eyes, and bruises were already beginning to form. His sage green shirt was stained red and he looked miserable, but not beaten. That was the most unsettling thing. He still had that confident gleam in his eye.

Alex was the first to approach him, but just as she was about to kneel down, Danielle Rousseau approached her and stared hard at her. "What?" Alex asked, puzzled. Why were all these women staring at her today?

Ben sighed from behind her. "Alex. This is your mother." His eyes flickered from Alex and then to Annie. The woman didn't look at all surprised. She must have already pieced it together.

Danielle cupped her daughter's face in her hands as unshed tears clung to her eyes. Annie didn't know what to feel. Jealousy, perhaps. After all, it had been her who had taken care of Alex in her early months. But then, there was happiness too. Danielle had gone mad after losing her daughter. She had never seen the French woman look so happy.

Leaving the mother and daughter to be reunited, she looked down at Ben. "I'll tie him up." Her offer was appreciated by Danielle and she walked past them and knelt down next to Ben. A few of the survivors had already gone into the jungle and returned with vines in their hands. Annie grabbed his wrists and avoided looking at his face. She feared that if she did, pity would wash over her. This was Benjamin Linus. He didn't deserve her pity, and so she kept her focus pinned on his hands.

"What did you do to piss him off?"

"You wouldn't want to know." What did that mean?

She bound his hands roughly together and kept the edge of the vine in between her fingers. When she finally did look up, she saw that Ben was smirking at her through the blood. "I bet you're enjoying this."

She raised her head defiantly. "More than you know." But though her words sounded true, they didn't feel right. This wasn't as enjoyable as she thought it would be. To see Ben brought so low and humiliated.

And one troubling thought circled through her mind as she played with the fraying vine between her fingers. Would she really be able to bring herself to kill him when the time came? _Would she?_

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

Ben awoke to find that Annie's head was still resting on his shoulder and that her hand had wrapped tightly around his forearm, as if she feared he would leave her in the middle of the night. He turned and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before he shifted.

Annie began to stir.

Her eyes were dark with sleep and her hair was messy. "What?" She stretched and her shoulders popped pleasantly. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go to work, Annie. We're taking a shipment out to the Pearl today. My dad will be waiting for me."

"I wish you didn't have to leave." Her voice was still heavy from sleep. Judging by the way the sun was just beginning to filter in through her windows, she would guess that it was only seven-thirty or so.

"So do I." Ben admitted to her and then looked down at Alex in his arms. She had only woken him up twice in the night, not as bad as he had thought. And now she was beginning to stir too. The moment her eyes were open she stared at Ben. Then, she blinked, and the quiet moment was shattered, as Alex began to scream angrily.

Annie sat up and smirked. "Sounds like someone's hungry."

"Would you?" Ben asked and when Annie nodded, he smiled appreciatively at her. "Thank you." He transferred Alex from his arms to Annie's and then pulled away. "I'll be back tonight."

And then he was gone, leaving Annie and Alex to start the day all by themselves. But first, Alex's screaming needed to be stopped before she woke up the entire Initiative. "Alright, alright," Annie replied calmly, "I'm getting your breakfast. Patience."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

Jack had soon returned and they had all begun to trek towards the radio tower. Ben was being pulled along by Annie, the vine held tightly in her hands, not willing to let him go. When they finally did reach the tower, Annie found a tree and tied Ben tightly to it. "Just in case," she whispered harshly to him. He didn't respond. She stood to one side of him while Danielle stood on the other side.

All of the sudden, Naomi, the girl who had crashed on the island, began to shout. "I've got it. I've got a signal!"

"Jack, please," Ben cried frantically, "You don't know what you're doing!"

"I know exactly what I'm doing," came the confident reply just as Naomi pressed a button and the radio connected. But just as it seemed Jack's wish was finally going to come true and all was going to be lost, Naomi began to spit blood and then she fell to the ground. Annie saw what had hurt her. Or, rather, whom. It was a strange man, a bald man, with a bloodied shirt. He had thrown a dagger straight into Naomi's back.

"Ben?" Annie leaned towards him. "Who is that?" The stranger whipped out a gun and pointed it at a furious Jack.

"John Locke," Ben responded and said no more. She couldn't really blame him. His split lip was beginning to puff.

"Step back," the man known as John Locke ordered Jack.

"What did you do?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"What I had to."

Jack's eyes glanced down at the phone in Naomi's clenched hand. The call was connected. Someone was speaking on the other end. Jack took a chance and dove for the phone. Locke shot at it but missed, and Jack held it triumphantly in his hand.

"What are you doing, John?"

The man raised his gun and pointed it at Jack's chest. His finger wrapped around the trigger. "I don't want to shoot you."

"Do it, John!" Ben pushed. Annie rolled her eyes. Didn't this man know when to shut up and stay out of these kinds of matters. _Obviously not_. "Shoot him! Do what you need to-" Quick as lightning, Annie watched as Danielle pulled back her elbow and hit Ben hard in the head. His head went limp to the side in unconsciousness.

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o**_

_** Please leave me a review and make me happy! Your guys' opinion means the world to me!**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Dear Fanfiction Family,**_

__**I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS SO MUCH. (I just felt like I had to tell you all that. 3 )**

_** Thank you, DrunkenOfficer, for the sweet review. I was actually thinking about you, wondering where you'd been, and then I got your review. So, thanks so much!**_

_** Two chapters in one week! Know what this means? Inspiration has struck. I love it when that happens. Kinda makes my job as a writer a bit easier, less painful, ya know? *cue winky face* Anyways, this chapter is a bit shorter, more of a filler, but I hope you like it! And I have an idea for the next chapter that may or may not contain the tiniest bit of fluff. But I'm not telling you who or how. You'll have to figure that bit out on your own. **_

_** Also, I wanted to let you all know that funnygirl00 and I have sent out the petition that we were creating to ask for the right to be able to remove inappropriate reviews from our stories. We had 100 names in all and I wanted to thank all of you guys who helped!**_

_** Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. You know the drill. Don't sue.**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o**_

Ben's eyes opened and he winced in pain. His whole face hurt and the blood made his skin itch. He looked down and realized that he was still standing upright, supported by the vines Annie had used to tie him to a tree. How long had he been out?

"What's happened?" He asked Annie and she looked at him.

"You're awake." She didn't sound disappointed or proud of the fact, just neutral. "John ran off. And Jack used the phone to call some people. They're sending a helicopter to come and get all of us."

Ben groaned. "Then it's finally happened. Jack's more of an idiot then I gave him credit for."

"What's finally happened, Ben?" Annie asked in confusion.

"The beginning of the end." Ben shifted his head to look at Rousseau who was still standing beside him, guarding him. He followed her gaze and saw that she was watching Karl and Alex, reunited, talking and laughing. He wondered when the last time had been that he had seen his daughter smile. He turned back to Danielle. "I need you to do me a favor," he began. "I need you to take Alex and get as far from here as possible."

Danielle turned to him and frowned. "What?"

"Listen to me," he pressed urgently. "We don't have time for this. Everyone who stays here is going to die. Now get Alex and get away right now, I don't care where you go, just go. I will not have my daughter-" He was silenced as Danielle raised her elbow and punched him in the face again.

"She is not your daughter."

Ben fought hard not to wince at the pain he was in. "All due respect, Rousseau, but I'm the one who raised her for sixteen years of her life. I have more right to be her parent than you do."

"You stole her away from me!" Danielle shouted, finally unhinged. _Ahhh, so she _did _remember him after all._

"You were mentally insane! You couldn't have taken care of her!"

Danielle slung her rifle off of her shoulder. "And who were you to decide that? To take my baby from me?!"

Ben was silent for a long moment. He stared hard into the French woman's eyes and then replied in a quiet, yet scathing tone. "She would have died if I hadn't."

Danielle's eyes flashed with anger and she raised her gun at him, but Alex intervened just then.

"Stop! What are you doing?"

"What should have been done a long time ago."

"Please..." Alex placed a soft hand on her mother's arm and Danielle turned to face her. "Don't kill him."

Before anything else could be said, Jack interrupted. "Where's Naomi?!" Ben, Alex, and Danielle looked towards Jack. True to his word, the girl was gone.

"She must've crawled off," Kate replied.

Jack threw his hands up into the air helplessly. "We have to find her. The boat just called and they want to speak with her."

"What did you tell them?"

"That she's out collecting firewood. That isn't going to buy us much time, and it's getting dark." As if on cue, the survivors began to light their torches. Rousseau took off in the general direction that the girl would have headed. Kate followed her.

Several minutes later, Rousseau returned. "I found blood!" She said. "She can't be more than 10 minutes ahead of us. We should go, now, and find her!"

Jack nodded and motioned to Ben. "Alright, but we're taking him with us."

"Why would we do that?"

"Because I don't trust him with anybody but me."

Ben rolled his eyes at Jack's back before Annie began to untie him from the tree. His hands were still bound, and she held the other end of the vine tightly. "How the tables have turned, Benjamin," she muttered just loud enough for him to hear, and then walked towards Jack.

The man was busy giving orders to the rest of the survivors, ordering them to go back to the beach. One by one, they obeyed and began to walk back in the direction of the coast. Just then, Kate ran up to Jack, breathless and sweaty from trekking through the jungle. "I found her trail. She's headed west across the Island."

But Jack shook his head. "Rousseau already found it. We're going after her right now."

"But are you sure it's hers?"

Jack shrugged. "Unless someone else is bleeding."

"But if she didn't want us to find her, then she could've created a dummy trail," Kate pointed out.

"Kate," Jack sighed. "Six hours from now we're gonna be sitting on a boat laughing about the fact that there was one final thing we couldn't agree on. Naomi's hurt, she ran into the jungle. She's not thinking about leaving fake trails."

"You're right," the woman acquiesced, but Ben caught it. The faintest quiver in her voice. She was lying.

Jack smiled. "I'll track her down. Why don't you lead everyone back down to the beach?"

Kate stretched out her arms to hug him and whispered something to him. When Jack turned back around, he saw that Ben was smirking.

"What?" But the man just shrugged.

Jack rolled his eyes and turned to Danielle. "Ready?" The woman nodded and began to lead the way, following the trail. Jack went to follow her but stopped when he noticed the red-headed woman still standing there. "We can handle him," he said, eying the vine in her hands. "You go back down to the beach."

"I'm sorry, but I've lived on this Island for thirty years. I don't take orders from you."

"I'm sorry, but _who_ are you?"

"My name is Annie. And Jack, I'm not letting this bastard out of my sight."

Jack actually chuckled and turned to Ben. "You're wonderful at making enemies, aren't you?" And then he turned and walked away. "Make sure you keep up!"

"He's an arrogant prick. Why the hell did they put him in charge?" Annie was talking just low enough so that Jack could not hear them.

Ben shrugged. "He's stubborn as a mule, but he's got a good head on his shoulders. I assume that's what separated him from the rest." He glanced over at Annie and saw her frowning. "I agree with you though. I'm not too fond of him myself."

"I suppose he's better than having _you_ as leader though."

Jealousy struck Ben right in the chest and he gritted his teeth. "I've lived on this Island for thirty-four years. I've traveled all across it, I know it like I know the back of my hand, I know it's secrets, it's treasures. Out of the two of us, then, who would you feel safer with?" He sounded as if there was only one correct answer, but she smirked.

"If it's a choice between the arrogant amateur and the murderer who killed my people, I think I'll go with number one."

Ben frowned. "I should've known you'd say that."

_0o0 _

Within ten minutes they had found the end of the trail of blood. There was simply nothing else to follow, nowhere else to go. Kate had been right. The trail had been a fake one. Naomi was gone.

"Better call the boat," Ben scoffed, "Tell 'em she's getting a really big bundle of firewood."

"Shut up," Jack growled at him and then reached for the phone, but it was gone. He began to pat himself everywhere and then he looked at Danielle. "The phone's gone."

But instead of Rousseau being the one to speak, it was Ben again. "In retrospect, I could've told you that she took it, but you hit me. I owed you one, Jack."

The man crossed over to him and pointed a long finger at his face. "Who took it?"

"Kate. When she hugged you." Jack closed his eyes as he saw his terrible mistake. Ben smirked. "I suppose we should've listened to her. She's probably found Naomi by now." This time, Jack actually raised a hand to punch him, but Annie spoke up, stopping him.

"We need to go and find her." Her voice was calm, but she didn't miss the look of shock that crossed Ben's face when he realized that Jack's blow wouldn't hit its mark. His eyes flicked to hers but she avoided his gaze and focused on Jack.

The man was silent for a moment, glaring at Ben, before turning to Danielle. "Fine. Can you lead the way?" The French woman nodded, and the four were off on the search again.

"Why'd you do that?" Ben whispered to Annie as they followed Danielle and Jack.

"What?"

He gave a pointed look. "Well, I figure that Jack still wants to hit me. But you stopped him." Annie rolled her eyes. Of _course _he would have to bring this up and humiliate her even more.

"We needed to get moving," she replied in a gruff tone and avoided his eyes.

Ben was silent for a second and she thought that perhaps he had dropped it, but then he spoke again. "You haven't changed at all."

"I've changed more than you know." As if to prove her point, she yanked just a bit harder on his vine, tugging him along and almost causing him to lose his footing. "I'm not anything like what I used to be. The jungle changes a person."

"But you still didn't let him hit me. Why?"

He was pressing her for an answer and it was making her angry. "Don't make me punch you instead."

"You wouldn't-"

Faster than lightning, Annie pivoted on her feet and hit Ben square in the nose. The force was so hard that he actually stumbled and fell to the ground. She bent over him and her voice was scathing. "Don't you dare tell me what I would and would not do. You. Don't. Know. Me."

It was true. Ben was shocked that she had actually hit him. There seemed to be no remainder of the kind, sweet, sensitive Annie he had once known. Where could she possibly have gone? He just grunted and held his bleeding nose tightly. It was a wonder it wasn't broken yet, what with all of the beatings it had taken in just the last six hours.

Annie left him to stand on his own. She noticed that Jack and Danielle were staring at her intently. "What?" She snapped. "I don't get a turn?"

They didn't reply, but Danielle offered her a nearly invisible smile of understanding. For years, Danielle had been her only friend and confidant. She alone knew just how much Annie deserved a shot at Ben's face.

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o **_

_** There were no flashbacks this time. I know some of you love them, so...sorry. But I try to write flashbacks that sorta kinda correspond to the chapter of the week, and this week I couldn't think of anything.**_

_** If there are any flashbacks that you would really like to see, I would love to hear your feedback and get some new ideas! Please and Thank You!**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**I know I'm several days late, but I've been without internet for the last four days. I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter. Thanks to thewhitekitten and DrunkenOfficer for making my week with your reviews. I asked for ideas for my new flashbacks, and I was definitely inspired. This week there's some Annie and Rousseau, per DrunkenOfficer's request!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

_ 20 years ago..._

Annie awoke, for the first time in weeks, feeling refreshed. The sun kissed her tanning skin. She felt at peace. For a split second she wondered if that French woman had actually decided to shoot her and now she was in heaven, or purgatory, or wherever you ended up after you died.

All of the sudden, her memory was jogged and she shot up straight. This wasn't the afterlife. She was still in the bloody jungle, and the French woman was sitting directly across from her, rifle in her lap, eyes staring and never blinking. Annie remembered how the French woman had found her. She remembered practically losing all control as she plead for mercy and help. She remembered being half dragged, half carried back to the stranger's camp. Then, she had passed out.

"What happened?" Annie asked in a groggy voice as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. She knew she shouldn't feel so comfortable around this woman, but she had been weeks without any human contact or conversation, and if the woman had wanted to harm her she would have done it already.

"You've been asleep for two days," she replied in a clipped French accent. Her English was very good, considering the fact that she was living on the Island in seclusion.

"Two days?" Annie exclaimed in shock.

The woman nodded. "Yes. You were drained. Needed rest."

Annie looked around her and then at the fire pit where two rather large lizards were roasting. She licked her lips and her stomach grumbled but she turned away from the sight. "Thank you," she said instead. The woman looked surprised. When had been the last time someone had said that to her? "Thank you for protecting me."

The woman shrugged. "What's your name?"

"Annie," she replied, "And yours?"

"Danielle."

"How long have you been out here?"

The woman's lips pursed up and her eyes flashed dangerously. Annie gulped. This woman was harsh enough to be frightening. "I would prefer to know about you. You said you came from the Dharma Initiative. Who are you?"

"I lived there for most of my life. But then I was told that something bad was going to happen and that I needed to leave."

"Who told you?"  
Annie floundered for an answer. Ben had told her, but who had he really been to her? "A friend," she replied in a shaky voice.

"Did your friend die?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything. He told me to wait for him, but it's been a whole week and he hasn't come. I would return back to the Initiative, but you need a code to get passed those pylon fence things, and I don't have the code. Ben did, but I don't!"

Her voice must have hit a frantic note again because Danielle was by her side in an instant, holding a wooden bowl filled with a red syrupy mixture. "Drink."

"What is it?"

"It will calm you down."

Annie was skeptical but she didn't have much of a choice so she obeyed. It was very sweet, but she felt her heart rate settling almost as soon as it slid down her throat. "I'm sorry," she apologized as Danielle backed away from her.

"You have been through much. That should keep the madness away for awhile."

"Madness?"

"Everyone eventually becomes mad in this jungle."

Annie cocked her head at the strange statement. "Are you alone here?" Danielle just nodded. "How long have you been here?"

"Nine months, give or take."

"And no one's come for you?"

"No one knows where I am. My team and I crashed here."

"Well, where are they?"

Danielle frowned and her eyes shot warning glances at Annie. Annie bit her lip and nodded her head in understanding.

"You said you lost someone? Your daughter, was it? You thought my people took her?"

The woman nodded. "Someone took her. In the middle of the night. A man came to my tent and took her away from me. He said that if I ever followed him he would kill me."

"Who was he?"

"I don't know."

Annie looked at the woman sympathetically. "What was your daughter's name?"

Danielle looked up and actually gave a small smile as she remembered her child. "Alexis," she replied, "My Alex."

_ALEX. _That name hit Annie like a bullet to the chest. It couldn't be, could it? Ben had found the child in the jungle...on a walk...he had said. His Alex couldn't be the same one. Ben would never do such a horrible thing! Annie's heart constricted and she began to panic yet again. But what were the odds of another child being born on the Island and taken and -?! ALEX!

She didn't hear Danielle ask her if she was alright. She didn't feel the woman come and sit next to her, or taste the syrupy sedative. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she fainted.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

"Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John." Annie heard Ben say those words and then watched as Jack nodded his head. Ben turned his head to look pointedly at her and she dragged him by the rope and over to where John stood. She didn't trust John, not after seeing him throw that dagger into Naomi's back. But if Ben was going with him, then so was she. This man would _not_ leave her sight.

She could see that Danielle, Alex, and Karl were following her over to John's side. Annie found herself slightly overwhelmed. For twenty years, an insane French woman had been her sole company and now there were over twenty people gathered and talking about what means of action they should take.

That brown-haired woman, Kate, had arrived just a while ago and had proclaimed that Naomi had died of her wounds. Jack had tried to kill John, had even pulled the trigger. Luckily, the gun hadn't been loaded. Kate had told them all about how, right before Naomi had died, she had called the boat and had told them to come to the Island. There were people coming and there was nothing they could do to stop it anymore. Those who believed that these people were dangerous needed to leave and get as far away from here as possible.

"You'll know where to find us when you change your mind," John said to the other group and then John took off and led the way deep into the jungle.

Annie gave one last look at the others and then concentrated on leading Ben through the thick underbrush. She prayed that they were all making the right choice.

For how long they walked, Annie didn't know. But eventually there was nothing but the light of the torches to lead them. A baby started crying; Annie watched as the blonde woman desperately tried to hush her child to no avail. John stopped and turned around.

"Aaron needs to sleep, John," the blonde woman said with pleading, tired eyes.

The man looked out over the little group and saw how worn they were. He nodded his head. "Alright, Claire," he responded, "We'll camp here tonight. James, Hugo, gather some kindling to start a few fires. Don't go far though."

"You sure that's such a good idea?" James spoke up and Locke raised a brow. "I'm just saying with every Tom, Dick, and Harry out there looking for us-"

"We'll be fine," John assured. and James and Hugo left. They were only gone for ten minutes or so. When they returned, they had enough kindling to start two fires. The people got to work doing so while Annie dragged Ben over to a fallen log and tied him to it.

She stood up and walked away only to be stopped by John. "I'm afraid we've never met before. I'm John." He held out his hand but she didn't take it.

"Annie," she responded. She didn't know exactly what to think of him. She didn't trust him, but he had kind eyes.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Annie. If I might ask—where did you come from?"

Honestly, she was getting rather tired of having to tell this story over and over again. "I was a part of the Dharma Initiative."

John's eyes widened with recognition. "I see. You mean the group that Ben helped murder?"

"That's the one."

John looked from her and then over at Ben who was sitting all by himself and watching everyone else at work. "Well, now I can see why you hold such animosity towards him. He doesn't make friends very easily."

"Indeed."

The conversation was over, and with a nod of his head, John Locke walked away. Annie turned towards the outskirts of the camp. Then, she began to gather kindling of her own.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

_ 15 years ago..._

The boar didn't stand a chance against its much more formidable foe. A bullet fired and the sound rang throughout the still jungle. The animal collapsed to the ground, and Annie smiled in triumph as she raced across the two hundred yards of underbrush towards her dead prey. As she knelt to the ground in front of it, she saw that she had hit the beast right between the eyes, just like she always did. Rousseau had taught her well.

Her victory was short-lived, however. A snap of a twig from behind her and Annie twirled around and raised the gun in the direction of the sound. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw a man standing there, a man she had never seen before.

"Who are you?" She tried to keep her voice from shaking, but the stranger was also pointing a gun straight at her. Should she just take the shot and kill him? _Not just yet_. "Put it down," she commanded angrily.

"You first," he responded. Neither one moved a muscle.

"Where did you come from?" Annie asked.

"I'm from the Dharma Initiative. Well, I'm not _one _of them. I just live in their village."

Her eyebrows slanted in confusion. "What are you talking about? I thought the village had been destroyed."

He chuckled darkly and Annie hated the sound. "Well, yes, it was. By my people. But how do you know so much? Where did you come from?"

It was as if Annie didn't even hear him. Her hands were shaking violently. Standing right in front of her was one of the men Ben had been frightened of. He had warned her. "What did you do to them?!" She demanded to know.

"We found gassing them to be quite efficient." He smirked and Annie's blood went cold.

"No, you didn't." She shook her head in denial. "You're lying."

"I'm sorry, but _who are you?_"

"Ben Linus? Benjamin Linus?! What did you monsters do to him? Did you kill him?!" She was screeching as fear galloped through her veins. _Oh, God, please no..._

"Ben Linus?" The man echoed in surprise and then chuckled. "I didn't do anything to him, dear. No, Ben helped us."

Annie's heart fell. "You're lying. How dare you!" Her fingers clutched at the trigger but the man didn't so much as flinch. His smirk was sickening.

"Oh, believe me, I wish I was. Ben's been one of us since he was a little boy. He gave us the code to get passed the fence, he murdered his father, he betrayed his people."

"No," she shook her head, "That _can't_ be true." She would've sunk to the ground if it hadn't been for the rifle in her hands. She wanted to shoot this man; it was taking all of her strength, both physical and mental, to keep her from just pulling that trigger and ending it. Ending these lies.

"Who are you?" The man asked yet again. "How did you know Benjamin?"

"He was a friend."

His eyes became shrewd. "More than a friend, I think. No, don't deny it. I can see it in your eyes. I didn't know Ben Linus had a girlfriend."

Annie shook her head. "He saved me! He told me to get out!"

"And he promised you that he'd return, right?" The man pointed out. "Tell me, how did he know about the danger?"

Annie was silent with disbelief. She didn't know what to think or who to trust anymore. Was this man really telling the truth?

"Why would Ben join you?"

"Because he hated his father."

"Why?" Annie was testing him.

"Because his father—Roger—was a drunk and an abuser. After Ben's mother died-"

Annie interrupted. "How did she die?"

"She died giving birth to Benjamin. Then, Roger brought them to the Island-"

"When?"

"When he was nine years old."

She stood there in shock. How could this man know so much about Ben...unless this man was really telling the truth. And, in that case—she stopped herself from thinking any further.

"What's your name?" She asked the stranger.

"Charles." He responded. "Charles Widmore."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Walking back towards where Ben was sitting, many people watched and stared. She rolled her eyes. These people really didn't trust easily, did they? Her gaze remained hard and emotionless. She didn't look at anyone else until she was kneeling down in front of Ben. He seemed surprised to see her sitting there across from him. His eyebrows raised. She had no doubt that his eyes would have widened too, if it weren't for the fact that they were beginning to swell shut. A small bubble of pity welled up inside of her, but she quickly squashed it down as she got to work making her own fire.

They were far enough away from the others that she felt mildly comfortable, no longer overwhelmed, but close enough that she could keep an eye on everyone else and hear what they were discussing. Not that she cared much as she set to work building the fire.

Soon, there was crackling warmth spreading throughout her body and she relaxed just a bit, as much as she was able to with Ben sitting less than two feet away from her. Annie refused to let him see how unsettling his close proximity was, choosing to concentrate instead on the flames. She could feel his eyes staring holes into the crown of her head.

Finally, she had no choice but to look up. "What?"

Ben just pressed his lips together and shrugged.

In the firelight she could see just how terrible Ben looked. He looked as if he was in terrible pain. His eyes were swelling shut, his nose had been beaten so many times it was a wonder it wasn't broken, his lip was split, mottles of black and blue ran up the sides of his face, blood was everywhere. She fought the urge to wince as she took it all in.

This time, it was Ben who caught her staring. "What?" His voice was slightly muffled since his jaw was swollen.

"Can I have your canteen?" She didn't have one so his would have to do. It was still slung across his chest; it hadn't been removed since they had set out the other day to find Jack and the others.

He passed it to Annie, wincing as his arm stretched. She nodded her head in thanks and uncorked it. But instead of taking a drink, she removed her handkerchief from the back pocket of her slacks and began to dampen it with the water from the canteen. When she looked up and saw Ben staring at her curiously, she just chose to ignore him.

Scooting closer to him, Annie stretched out her hand and used the damp handkerchief to begin wiping away the blood from his cheek. That's when his eyebrows shot high into his hairline. She just rolled her eyes and continued to wipe at his face. Her hands were surprisingly gentle as she took his chin in her fingers and moved his face from side to side.

"It looks like it hurts," she said in a neutral tone. Annie figured that saying anything would be better than awkward silence.

Ben winced as she wiped at a deeper cut along his eyebrow. "I've felt worse." She scoffed. "You don't believe me?"

"I _do_ believe you. I don't know if that's more funny or sad."

Annie took her hand away to rinse the cloth and start again. "My handkerchief is going to be a pale pink for the rest of eternity."

"Then why are you doing this?" Finally, the one question she had dared hope would go unasked, was finally posed. She looked up and caught his eyes. It had been so long since she had stared into those same eyes. They were just as pale of a blue as they had ever been.

"Does there need to be a reason?" That was as neutral an answer as she could muster.

"Generally there is." Her eyes flew up to his, but she was relieved when she saw that it was merely a statement and that he didn't expect any more of an answer from her. She nearly smiled in appreciation before she remembered that _this_ was _Ben_. The thought made her drop the cloth abruptly. "Are you alright?" His brows slanted in worry.

Annie nodded her head slightly. "I'm fine." She didn't feel fine. She felt sick to her stomach, but she refused to walk away. Her eyes found one last spot of blood on his face, right on his cheekbone. The cloth was somewhere on the jungle floor, long forgotten, so her thumb came up and wiped it away. She was shaking now, both from the human contact and from the close proximity.

"Are you sure?" He asked again and broke the silence. Ben looked unfazed, but Annie had always been able to read him better than anyone. There was the faintest tremble in his left hand. He was far from unfazed.

"Yes." Her hand fell away from his face abruptly, and she stood up and tried to get away as fast as she possibly could.


	20. Chapter 20

_** Wonderful readers and reviewers,**_

_** You would not believe how busy I've been, hence the extraordinarily late update on this chapter. My apologies! On the good side, though, I had a ton of fun at a Ski Retreat I attended last weekend!**_

_** Also, I just felt like I had to announce that this is my 20th chapter! I don't know why that's so exciting for me, but I only started writing this story three and a half months ago. Normally, I end my stories around 20 chapters, but as you can probably tell, this story has really just started. I have no idea how long it may end up...**_

_** Anyways, thanks to all of you who have stuck with this story, who have followed, favorited, and reviewed. You mean everything to me! Love you all :)**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

_"What is your name?"_

_ "Charles Widmore."_

Annie didn't recognize the name. Ben had never mentioned a 'Charles Widmore', nor had a man by that name ever lived in Dharmaville. She had never so much as seen him before. This man was a complete mystery to her; and despite the humidity of the jungle, her body broke out into a cold sweat as she slowly came to the realization that this man must be telling the truth. His knowledge of Ben was probably the most dreadful thing she had ever had to hear. And she was being pulled in two separate directions. Her mind was rationally trying to convince her of what was clearly reality, but her stupid, stupid heart was working just as hard to try and convince her that this all was a lie. That Ben wasn't the villain, the monster peering over her shoulder for the last five years. But he was.

She would have thought that it would have taken much more to convince her; but, strangely enough, she was finding it incredibly easy to actually believe this Charles Widmore. How could that be possible? How could she actually be able to consider that Ben was some kind of psychopathic, genocidal serial killer with an agenda? Even stranger, this question was not the most pressing.

"Why did you do it?" She asked and she must have been silent for at least a few minutes because her voice sounded abrupt and loud.

"Well, because it had to be done. Jacob's orders."

She crinkled her brow and began to unconsciously lower her rifle. "Who the hell is Jacob?"

"He's the one in charge, love. Jacob makes all the decisions."

"So...you're what? His lap dog?"

Charles' eyes flashed dangerously, but he still remained chillingly calm. "You could say that."

"So what are you doing out here, Charles Widmore?"

He was silent for a long moment and then he looked at the surroundings around him, seemingly admiring the beauty of the jungle. "Saying goodbye."

That response caught Annie off guard. The man actually sounded as if he were in pain. "What do you mean?"

"Change of leadership, love."

"I thought you said Jacob was the leader..."

"He is. The leader of the Island. I was the leader of the group you called 'hostiles'."

The more information Annie was being given, the more and more confused she was becoming. How had she been able to live on this Island for over half of her life and not know that so much else was happening? For the first time, she was beginning to realize that more was involved with this Island that anyone cared to actually see. "And why has the leadership changed?"

His eyes took a menacing and angry stare. "Because Benjamin Linus became greedy, and I got a woman pregnant. Judging by the look on your face, you really don't know who Benjamin Linus really is."

"You make him sound like a monster," Annie accused harshly and the gun was once again pointing at him.

Charles smirked. "That's because he is. He doesn't look like it, but Ben's a cold, manipulative bitch. I hate the boy, but I would be a liar if I didn't admit that he has me impressed. Even if he is the bastard who stole my home away from me."

"So what happens to you now?"

"Banishment implies that I will leave this Island, never to return."

"And Ben?" Her voice squeaked as she asked, her throat constricting and her stomach tightening. She felt sick.

"He'll take my place. Ben's the new leader of our people and of Dharmaville."

Annie was silent. Ben...a leader? He had never seemed to be leader material. Smart, very, yes, but he just wasn't-wasn't-

Charles interrupted her thoughts. "You can't go back, you know."

"Why would I want to?"

"I'm just saying that if you're thinking that you can somehow get passed the fence and come back to the village, on the arm of Ben Linus, the new and powerful leader, and you two can live happily ever after, then I fear you will be sorely disappointed. Ben won't want you."

Annie chuckled, but, _God_, was it hard! "Well, it's a good thing that I don't want him either, isn't it?" Her voice sounded impressively calm, but his words hurt worse than anything else ever had. Ben. Didn't. Want. Her.

"How much did you love him?" Charles asked. _With all my heart_.

"Go to hell," was what she said instead.

But he was persistent. "Did you ever tell him?"

"Yes," she responded tightly.

"Did he ever tell you?"

She gritted her teeth and looked with hatred at his snide smirk. Her silence was enough of a response for Charles Widmore. Annie couldn't say anything else. Her finger wrapped around the trigger and she prepared to take the shot.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

"When did Charles Widmore leave the Island?" Annie approached the question as if she was wondering about something as menial as the weather. She had spent fifteen years waiting, hoping for the off-chance that she would one day be granted the mercy to ask.

"How do you know that name?" Ben's voice was its usual monotone timbre, but his eyes widened slightly. This action was followed swiftly by a wince as the swelling in his left eye ached.

Annie shrugged. "I met him once, five years after you left me in the jungle."

"And you're still alive?"

"Amazing how all the things you thought would kill me actually weren't the most deadly, don't you think?"  
Ben smirked. "And what _was_ the most deadly?"

Annie failed to respond; more like refused to answer, and he raised his eyebrows.

"Charles Widmore left the Island shortly after you met him."

"He told me you did that to him."

"He broke the rules," came Ben's simple response.

"And it's true, then? You became the new leader?" Ben gave a slight nod of his head. Annie scoffed. "Why? Ben, what was the point? What did those people have that we didn't?"

He looked at her and his lips became a thin line. "Freedom, for one. Ideals, patience, strategy. They had direct orders that actually made sense."

"And you just figured that you fit in perfectly there?"

Ben shrugged and gave her a cold stare. "I do."

She scoffed again. "Well, you're not in charge anymore, Ben. Where are your 'people' now?"

"Most of them are dead," he dead-panned. "Because Jack wouldn't listen."

Annie swallowed down any pity she felt for the lost men. "How many others do you think have come to the Island?"

He didn't even think before responding. "Four."

Annie raised her brows at his inexplicable knowledge. "Do you think they'll find us?"

Ben shook his head as if the thought was ludicrous. "I think _we'll find them._"

And as if by some fate from above, or by magic, the entire group heard a loud scream. John's head perked up to listen and the troop began to quickly move in the direction of the sound.

Before Annie could do anything, she saw that Ben was smirking. "And I believe we're just about to," he replied smugly and Annie rolled her eyes. There was no end to his knowledge, was there? If she didn't depise him so much, she would actually be impressed.

"You leave him here," John ordered her. "Tie him to a tree."

"Why?" She asked in a distrusting voice.

"Because I don't know who's out there, and until I do, I don't want him anywhere near them. Since he was so adamant against them coming here in the first place."

"I think what he means is," Ben dryly said from behind, "That he's afraid I'm going to shoot one of them."

Annie furrowed her brow at Ben and then at John. "He doesn't even have a gun."

"Somehow I get the feeling that that won't stop him," John replied grimly and walked away with the rest of the group. Ben just rolled his eyes when Annie looked at him questioningly.

"We have a complicated relationship."

"And why's that?"

"I tried to kill him," Ben replied simply as he allowed Annie to lead him to a tree and tie him to it.

Annie scoffed. "It's as if you don't know that attempts on people's lives makes enemies. For your information, people don't like being shot at."

Ben smirked and quipped, "I'll remember that for future reference."

To her great surprise, Annie actually chuckled, and nearly as soon as she started, she stopped. She hadn't laughed in twenty years. The sound was foreign to her, and strange, and not altogether unpleasant.

She glanced at Ben as she sat down a couple feet away from him. He had used to make her laugh all the time, and she had enjoyed it. Then, for twenty years, she hadn't even so much as snickered. She had forgotten the sound of laughter.

But he had just managed to make her laugh again.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Annie's finger wrapped around the trigger and she prepared to take the shot. The boar lying ten feet away was long forgotten. This was the first man she would ever kill. Had Rousseau ever taken a life? And if so, was it really true that after your first, it just became easier and easier to kill?

"What are you going to do? Shoot me?" He scoffed.

"You don't think I will?!"

Charles smirked. "I'm not the one who ruined your life. Killing me isn't going to fix anything."

"Shut up," she ground out, refusing to hear anything this man was saying.

"Fine," he acquiesced, "Alright. Shoot me. But first-" his words broke off as he dropped the pistol from his hand and held his arms over his head. "Go ahead." He was unarmed. She wouldn't just be killing a man, she would be killing an _unarmed _man. Bile rose in her mouth. "Kill me. Like I killed your miserable cult of a people. I dare you," he ended in a whisper.

Annie shook, but it wasn't from fear. It wasn't from nerves or doubts. It was from full-blooded rage. This man was a _murderer_. He deserved to die. Her shoulders squared with determination, her eyebrows furrowed as she concentrated. She ignored the fact that he was unarmed – as her people had been – and it hadn't stopped him! Licking her lips, she steadied herself and wrapped her finger around the trigger, pulling it back slowly.

But before she could do anything, there was movement from beside Widmore and Danielle emerged from the underbrush. "Annie, don't!" She shouted as she lifted the butt of her rifle and slammed it over Charles' temple. He fell to the ground unconscious, bleeding, but otherwise, unharmed.

"Why not?!" Annie screamed back, her gun shaking violently in her hands. "Why shouldn't I?! He killed them all!"

"Because if you kill him," Danielle responded in a soft voice, slowly and cautiously approaching Annie, "You will never be able to come back from it, and you will never forgive yourself."

"I won't care!"

Danielle shook her head. "Yes, you will. Because that's who you are. You're not like me, Annie. You're not a killer."

"Maybe that's what I need to be. Maybe that's who I really am!"

"Don't be ridiculous. Killing him isn't going to bring back your family, your friends. It won't erase all that's happened. You won't wake up from some nightmare and be back there with _him_! There'll just be one more person dead on this Island."

Annie looked over Danielle's shoulder at the slumping form of Charles Widmore, and a lump formed in her throat. "What do we do with him then?"

"We leave him, and he can find his own way back. Then, he'll be gone forever."

"What if he tells Ben about me?"

"He won't," she promised, "You didn't tell him your name, right?"

Annie shook her head.

"Then, he won't."

She would've protested further, but she felt her stomach tense and her legs wobble and then she fell onto her knees and wretched long and hard. Sobs wracked her body, nearly making her choke on her own vomit. She felt disgusting, tired, dirty. She wanted to take her hands and scrub away all of the five years' worth of mud and sweat, blood and tears.

Annie screamed and thrashed, not caring that she was sitting in a pile of her own putrid vomit. Her fists clenched and she just screamed. This must be what it feels like to have a panic attack.

She was alone. Never going back home. Ben was a killer. Her parents were dead. Ben had lied. He was a killer. Killer. He had killed her family. Annie was alone. Killer. Alone. Home. Family. Ben. Killer. Alone. Annie.

"I'm in hell," she managed to choke out, realizing that Danielle was still there, kneeling beside her, far enough away so as to give her her own space.

"We both are," came the simple response and Annie screamed even more, until her cries were lifted up and carried in the wind, until her throat was raw and aching and she couldn't even speak.


	21. Chapter 21

_** You are all welcome to the official longest chapter I've ever written here on Fanfiction. **_

_** Enjoy!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o0**_

"So, you didn't seem surprised," Annie voiced after a few minutes of silence.

Ben would have shrugged if his arms hadn't been tied to a tree. "There's nothing to be surprised about. I know who's coming, I know there's four of them, and I know why they're hear."

"And why's that?" But Ben didn't answer and Annie sighed. "You seemed pretty adamant against them coming."

"That's because they're dangerous," he replied dryly, "Yet no one wants to listen."

Annie smirked. "I think they've all just accepted the fact that you're a pathological liar."

"A pathological liar who knows what he's talking about. And I've _got_ to do something about it." He looked her straight in the eyes. "Annie, I need your help."

She raised a brow. "Why?"

"Because I need you to untie me and give me your gun."

Annie was silent as she thought. "You want to kill whoever they bring back here."

He nodded his head, not even trying to deny it. It would've been futile to do so anyway, nothing ever got passed Annie. "I have to, or they'll kill us. It's us or them, Annie. Now, please, let me go."

"Don't you think we should hear them out first?"

"And give them a chance to convince the rest of you that they're the good guys?" He scoffed in disbelief. "You can't be serious."

"I am," she replied adamantly. "You're expecting everyone to choose between believing them and believing you. Why would anyone ever be stupid enough to believe you?"

Ben was silent for a moment as he looked hard at Annie. "This Island is my home and I will do everything that I can to protect it. These people will tear this Island a part, and I'll be damned if I ever give them a chance to do so!" His eyes flashed with something resembling righteous anger and determination. Annie believed him. The truth was clearly written on his face. These people, whoever they were, were dangerous and would kill them all. But that didn't mean she trusted Ben enough to actually untie him and willingly put _her_ gun in _his_ hands! Absolutely never going to happen!

"Say I believe you, Ben. And say I believe that these people are who you say they are. Why do we have to kill them?"

Ben sighed. "Because I know who their boss is, and killing these people will buy us just enough time to formulate a plan before he sends others."

"Who? Who is their leader?" Annie doubted she would recognize the name, but curiosity compelled her to ask. Ben shook his head and refused to answer. "Ben, you want me to untie you? Tell me who it is."

"Charles Widmore. It's Charles Widmore."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh my God...really?"

Ben nodded. "Now, if you'll please?" He dipped his head to motion towards his bindings. But she shook her head.

"You didn't actually believe I would cut you loose, did you?" She chuckled at the realization that she had actually succeeded in fooling him. Annie shook her head. "Not while you have a death wish on these people."

His eyes widened with shock. She had just played him! "But you believe me-" he began to argue.

"Yes-"

"I have to kill them-"

"I say we hear them out first. Do you know which one Locke is bringing back?"  
Ben nodded. "A woman named Charlotte Lewis."

"How d'you know that?"

He rolled his eyes. "Because it was clearly a woman who screamed, and she's the only woman on the team."

Annie raised her arms in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. I'm not Mr. Know-It-All like you, remember?"

Ben smirked and tried to hide a chuckle. "I missed that humor," he admitted, low under his breath. He didn't think she would hear him but, of course, she did. Her sharp intake of breath was enough of an indication of that.

His eyes met hers, and her expression was neutral, but her eyes were sparkling with shock. "Ben -" she began but never got to finish.

The company had returned.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

"Why don't you just move in with her?" His father asked him as he unloaded the last of the crates into the Swan's storage room.

"I don't know, Dad. It just never seems like the right time to bring it up."

"Well, you two are practically already living together. Even Alex stays there. Why don't you just get it over with?"

Ben pursed his lips together to keep calm. His was heart was already racing hard. If only his father knew – that he had just said goodbye to her. She had gone into that jungle and he would never be able to see her again, much less be able to move in with her. Ben made up an answer and concentrated on keeping his voice as steady as possible. "I don't just want to move in, Dad," he explained as he got into the van and his dad started driving to their next destination. "I want to do right by her."

"So marry her, Ben. For God's sake, you're 24, and you've had a crush on this girl since we first got here."

Ben couldn't help but smile as he remembered the first time he had met her. _I'm Annie_, she had said and then she had handed him an Apollo bar. _We can have as many as we want_.

"You really think I should marry her?"

Roger chuckled. "It's not like she's going to say no, is it? I never understood why, but that girl's nuts about you."

"I don't know why either," he admitted in a small voice. Guilt was clawing at him. She had _seen _something in him and he had betrayed her by lying and sending her away all on her own.

Roger glanced at his son and saw his troubled expression. "Come on, Ben. She must've seen something. Annie seems like a smart girl."

"She is," pride laced his voice. _But not smart enough to figure out what I'm really capable of._

"Then just swallow your nerves and ask her to marry you."

"Who knew you could give relationship advice, Dad." Ben remarked dryly and Roger laughed.

As soon as the van was parked, Ben looked out over the lush green of the valley. He removed his glasses and then watched as his father opened a can of beer and took a sip.

"Well, you can't say it isn't beautiful," he remarked and Ben forced a tight smile before looking down at his watch.

It was time.

"If it helps, I promise I'll try my very best to remember your birthday next year."

Ben didn't believe a word his father said. He looked at his dad and then reached into his duffel bag and pulled out his gas mask. "I don't think that's going to happen, Dad."

"What are you talking about?"

…...

"Goodbye, Dad."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Annie and Ben watched in silence as a woman with red hair was led by Locke and surrounded by the rest of the group. She sat down, clearly exhausted, but definitely curious enough to ask questions.

"I just can't believe you're all alive. How many of you are there?"

Ben hoped no one would be stupid enough to actually supply her with answers. Of course, he was wrong to hope. Hugo spoke up. "Forty-eight of us survived the crash, that's not counting the tail section. They're pretty much all dead now..."

"Hugo," Locke interrupted him and gave him a look that clearly meant he wasn't to say anymore.

Charlotte turned her attention to Claire. "Is that your baby?" She asked, motioning to the child in her arms.

Claire nodded. "Yes, this is Aaron."

"Did you have him here on the island?"

"Yes, I did."

"That's amazing."

Annie glanced over at Ben and saw that his eyes were firmly planted on the gun tucked in the back of Karl's pants. She rolled her eyes and made her way over to him. "You'll never be able to get it, ya know?"

Ben looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. "I know. Which is why I really need your help."

Annie looked over at the group, hoping that no one could hear them. "I can't let you go, Ben."

"Just listen to me. This woman needs to stay here, no matter what. She _cannot _be given a chance to find her people and tell them all about us. You need to keep an eye on her."

"Why me?"

"Well, I'm kind of tied to a tree right now, and no one else will actually listen to me," he replied. "Just watch her alright?"

Annie nodded. "Fine."

"And do _not_ let her get away."

"I think Locke can handle it. He seems pretty capable."

"And if he can't, then it's up to you. Or else we all go up in flames. Alright, Annie?" He asked urgently. "You understand?"

She gave him a curt nod and turned her attention back to Charlotte. It looked like the group was preparing to leave again.

"Get up," Locke commanded Charlotte, "You're coming with us. Annie untie Benjamin." Annie moved to do as she was told, sharing a quick glance with Ben. Maybe he wouldn't need her help after all. He eyed Karl's gun again, but the boy had moved way beyond his reach. So much for that.

"What?" Charlotte asked, clearly confused. "We need to stay where we are so they can find us."

Locke smirked and walked up to her. "See, there's your problem. We don't want to be found."

"What the hell is wrong with you people? Why not?"

Locke didn't answer. There was an erupting sound from above them, and when they looked up, they could see a red flare flying through the air.

"That's them. That's somebody from my team," Charlotte cried happily, but when she saw the unimpressed looks of the rest of the group, she frowned. "What's wrong with you people? We're here because of you. I almost died jumping out of a helicopter because you called us for help!"

"Maybe we should go see who launched that flare," Hurley spoke up and Claire agreed.

"Yeah, I mean, they could be hurt, John."

Locke shook his head. "She's lying. And whatever they came for, it isn't us. We keep moving forward as planned."

Charlotte rolled her eyes and patted her hands on her thighs. "Fine. You people do whatever you want." She turned to leave but Locke stopped her.

"I want you to come with us."

"I'm not asking for your permission to leave."

Annie looked at Ben and saw that he was eying her urgently. Something needed to be done. Charlotte needed to be stopped. Her eyes plead for him to give her an answer, to tell her what to do. She knew that if Charlotte left, bad things would happen to the rest of them. Before she even knew what was happening, two gunshots were fired and hit Charlotte square in the chest. The red-haired woman fell to the ground as everyone turned and looked straight at Ben. But it wasn't Ben who had fired the shots. Annie's rifle was raised and still pointed at the woman.

Out of nowhere, Sawyer had knocked the gun out of her hands and had pushed her up against the tree, his pistol pointed straight at her. "What did you do?"

"What I had to," Annie replied hotly, but heads turned back to Charlotte as she slowly began to sit up.

"Vest," she muttered under her breath and Locke moved to unzip her coat. Underneath, she was wearing a bulletproof vest. Annie's attempt at stopping Charlotte had only managed to knock the wind out of her. The woman would be fine.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Lines of people walked through the jungle. Richard led the procession by the light of his torch. Ben stood on one side of him and Widmore was on the other. Forty or so men and women followed behind them. The men bore lifeless bodies on their shoulders. The women carried bouquets of wildflowers.

They marched for what seemed like hours until Richard led them to a small clearing in the jungle, and in the middle of that clearing was a large pit that the men had dug earlier that day. One by one, the men came up and dropped the bodies into the pit. The women cried as there seemed to be no end to the corpses. Men, women, children, all laid together in the earth, never to rise again. Blood coated the faces of the dead, a testament to the way that they had all perished: through the gassing of their village.

Richard, Ben, and Widmore silently watched on as the last of the bodies were laid in the pit, and then, when Richard nodded his head, the women came forward and threw their flowers down upon the pile of bodies and then they stepped back. The men and women formed a circle around the pit with Richard, Ben, and Widmore at the front of it, looking down on the dead.

Richard took a deep breath to steady himself and then he spoke. "Today is a reminder that life is short and can end when one least expects it. One life is taken and another lives. But that does not make the passing of these any easier to bear. They died so that we might live. For that, we can never express the depth of our gratitude for their sacrifice." He reached down and grabbed a pile of dirt in his hand. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." He threw the dirt into the pit. Widmore was the next to do so, and then Ben. Everyone else followed suit. Once they were finished, Richard spoke again. "Our lives begin anew to today. May their deaths never come to waste."

The service was finished and the men and women began their procession back to the Initiative. Only Richard, Widmore, and Ben remained.

Richard turned to Widmore. "I would like to speak to Benjamin alone, if you please."

Charles nodded his head solemnly and turned to lead the rest of the people back.

Ben swallowed as he looked down at the pile. He could recognize so many faces. Laying right beneath him was Horace himself. That man had been such a good friend to him. He gritted his teeth to keep from cracking.

"Are you alright?" Richard asked him.

He nodded curtly. "Of course. As you said, life goes on."

Richard frowned. "That speech was only designed to help the others. We are murderers, Ben, plain and simple."

"What choice did we have? Jacob ordered it. We had to obey."

"I just wish it hadn't meant their deaths. They were innocent."

Ben shook his head. "They weren't all innocent."

"Why didn't you want to bring your father back to lay with the rest of them? He could've received a proper burial."

"You know why I didn't. My father doesn't deserve a proper burial. Not after everything he's done to me."

Richard nodded his head. "I do understand, Ben. But I didn't suggest it for his benefit. Don't you think you would be given peace if you knew that he was here with his people?"

"My father hated it on this Island. These weren't his people, just like I wasn't his son." Ben looked at Richard. "I want my father to stay out there."

"Whatever you want, Ben." Richard peered down into the pit. "Did you lose anyone close to you?"

Ben pointed down at Horace. "That's Horace Goodspeed. He was always kind to me."

"And that's all?"

He swallowed and nodded. "Yes." It was a lie. He knew it was a lie. But _she_ wasn't buried here.

Richard turned to face him and patted him on the shoulder in a sign of comfort. He smiled sadly. "Thank you for your service, Ben. We couldn't have done this without you."

Ben nodded his head. "You're welcome, Richard."

"We best be getting back."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Out of nowhere, Sawyer had knocked the gun out of her hands and had pushed her up against the tree, his pistol pointed straight at her. "What did you do?"

"What I had to," Annie replied hotly, but heads turned back to Charlotte as she slowly began to sit up.

"Vest," she muttered under her breath and Locke moved to unzip her coat. She was wearing a bulletproof vest. Annie's attempt at stopping Charlotte had only managed to knock the wind out of her. The woman would be fine. But at least Annie had succeeded in stopping her from going anywhere. For now.

Sawyer turned his attention back to her. His hand was wrapped around her throat and she was staring down the barrel of his gun. "You just shot that girl."

"Yes, it would seem that I did," Annie replied simply.

"Why d'you do it?"

"Because she's dangerous, and can't be trusted to go out there and find her people. They'll kill us all!"

Locke was staring at her and began to approach her. "You know who you remind me of?" He asked and then paused. "You remind me of him." He pointed an accusatory finger at Ben, whose hands were still tied by the vine, but the vine was hanging limp. Annie had released it when Sawyer had backed her into the tree. Locke must have noticed Ben's newly found freedom because he walked up to him and pushed him into the tree next to Annie. "Did you do this?"

He scoffed. "In case you didn't notice, I don't have a gun, John."

Locke looked at Annie. "Did he say something to talk you into shooting that woman?"  
Annie rolled her eyes. "Do I look like a woman who follows orders? I shot that woman to save all of you!"

"You wanna know what I think," Sawyer hissed, "I think you're just as dangerous as Yoda over there."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" She fired back sarcastically and Sawyer gritted his teeth. Ben fought to suppress a chuckle. Annie continued hotly, "Because the way I see it, Ben's the only one who knows anything at all about this! He knows _who _she is, why she's here. He knows what they're planning to do. So, if I'm as dangerous as him, I'll take that as much of a compliment as I can, because that means that I have a better chance at survival than the rest of you!"

Sawyer squinted his eyes hard at her and then turned to Locke. "What do we do with her?"

Locke shrugged. "What do you suggest, James?"

"Well, I ain't killing her, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I agree. Maybe she should be the one tied up."

Annie scoffed. "How? You're using all the vines on – what did you call him – Yoda?"

Sawyer smirked at her and then looked at Locke. "I say we switch 'em out."

"James, I think that's a brilliant idea." Locke moved to remove the vines from Ben's hands and he passed them over to Sawyer who proceeded to tie Annie up.

"What do you mean, switch us out?" She asked in confusion as he finished tying her bindings.

He didn't answer. "Locke, you want me to do it?"

"Do what?" Annie was feeling very nervous now. Were they thinking of...

"No, James. This is my mess. I'll clean it up." John held out his hand and Sawyer placed his gun into the outstretched palm. Annie's heart plummeted. They _were_ thinking of doing it. She suppressed a gasp as Locke lifted the gun and pointed it right between Ben's eyes. _NO._

She wasn't the only one in protest. Annie heard Alex shout for them to stop, but Locke turned and looked at Danielle. "Danielle, I think you'd better escort Alex away from here."

Alex fought against her mother's arms for a second but the moment Karl stepped up and said that he agreed with Locke, she looked at him and then at her father. There was nothing she could do. She allowed Danielle and Karl to start leading her away.

"John, don't you think we should talk about this?" Claire voiced in disapproval, but Locke shook his head.

"Claire, what if one of the bullets had hit you or the baby?"

"He's not the one who fired the gun."

"No, but I have a feeling that he had something to do with it. You told her to, didn't you?" He asked, addressing Ben.

Annie groaned. "You people are idiots! I already told you _I _chose to shoot her."

"And you're telling me Ben had nothing to do with influencing your decision?" John fired back and Annie could say nothing. Locke nodded as his point was made. "You see," he said, addressing the group, "This man is dangerous. He not only tried to kill me, but he's manipulative. Who's to say he hasn't been lying the whole time! He needs to go." John clicked back the safety.

But Ben stopped him. "John, you can't do this. I have information you need."

John smirked. "Fine. What's the black smoke?"

Ben's eyes widened, clearly surprised that that was the question the man would choose to ask. "What?"

"The black smoke!" John growled angrily. "Tell me what the black smoke is."

"I can't," Ben ground out.

"Goodbye, Benjamin." Locke's finger wrapped around the trigger and Annie didn't know what to do but shut her eyes tight. She didn't want to watch this. But the shot never came. She was sure it would have if Ben hadn't spoken up again.

"Her name is Charlotte Lewis," he admitted, revealing some of the knowledge he contained, "Charlotte Staples Lewis." The woman's eyes lit up in surprise. "Born July second, nineteen seventy-nine, Essex, England. Parents David and Jeanette. Eldest of three, all girls. She was raised in Bromsgrove. Did her undergraduate studies at Kent. Took her PhD in Cultural Anthropology at Oxford. She's here with two other team members and a pilot. Their names: Daniel Faraday, Miles Straume, and Frank Lapidus." Everyone was silent, especially Charlotte, and even Annie. She hadn't known his knowledge extended to such lengths. She hated to admit it but she was actually impressed. Ben looked at Locke. "Your instinct was right, John. These people are a threat, and if you shoot me you'll never know how great a threat they were. Because I know what they're doing here. I know what they want."

Sawyer frowned at him. "What do they want?"

Ben pursed his lips, considering whether or not he should tell them. If he did, they would know his greatest secret. If he didn't, Locke may or may not decide to kill him. How big of a risk was he willing to take? He didn't have to decide, as it turned out, because Annie decided for him.

"They're here for him, Sawyer. They want Ben."

Ben looked at her in surprise. How had she known? When he looked back at Locke, he saw that the man was eyeing him hard. "Is that true?"

He nodded. "Yes, John, it's true."

"And how do you know all this?"

Smirking, he looked straight at Charlotte and replied in a chilling voice, "Because I have a man on their boat."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Ben opened the door of his bungalow and peered out into the dark night. Not a star was in the sky and no one was on the street. It was silent as the grave as he stepped outside and closed the door as quietly as he could behind him. He walked down the sidewalk briskly, suddenly wishing that he had brought a sweater. It was chilly out. Ben turned to look behind him and when he saw that no one was following him, he broke out into a run towards the west boundaries of the village.

Within fifteen minutes, he was standing in front of the pylon fence where he had said goodbye to Annie that very same morning. He peered into the jungle but couldn't see anything through the dark. She would be waiting for him to come and get her, as he had promised, but he knew that he wouldn't. Who knows what Richard would do if he found out that Ben had spared one of the Dharma's citizens. And he didn't want to risk finding out.

Ben walked up to the pylon fence, typed in the code, and heard the buzz of the electricity die down. He crossed over unharmed and entered the jungle. He knew where she was, he could find the specific tree in the dark, literally. And he did.

Crouching behind a thick mass of underbrush, he saw her sitting on the ground, her back resting against the tree. As Ben's eyes increasingly got more adjusted to the dark, he could just barely make out her form. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or not. She was using her backpack as a pillow and her arms were curled tightly around her body. She must be freezing in this chill.

He was beginning to regret coming. It was taking all of his will power not to reveal himself to her right then and there. To take her and rescue her.

Ben's lips tightened as he shifted to turn away. A twig snapped under his foot, and in the otherwise silent jungle, it seemed to echo. He stayed absolutely still, hardly daring to breathe, hoping that she hadn't heard.

"Hello?" His heart dropped the moment he heard Annie's voice. "Who's there?" Her voice quivered in fear. She must be so afraid, all alone. He swallowed hard and dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands. Ben bit his lip hard enough that he draw blood. "I know someone's out there?...Ben?" Tears burned in his eyes. "Is it you? Ben...please..." She was pleading with him to come out, to find her, to save her, and to bring her home. "Please..."

She became silent and her breathing eventually grew heavy. He knew she must have fallen asleep. A hand reached up to wipe away the few tears that had fallen, and then he turned to walk away. "Goodbye, Annie," he whispered as he got farther and farther away.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Ben was being pulled beside Annie. It turned out that the group hadn't minded going out and getting more vines to tie him up. Sawyer was leading Annie, and Danielle had Ben's vines firmly in between her fingers. Annie winced as the harsh fibers dug into her wrists. No wonder Ben's flesh was so raw and bloody. And yet, he acted as if nothing pained him. So she tightened her mouth, held her head up high, and refused to show any pain just like him.

"You ready to give us the name yet, Gizmo?" Sawyer looked over and asked Ben.

"He's not going to tell you who his spy is on their boat, James," Locke called over his shoulder.

"Yeah? Why not?"

Locke stopped and turned around. "Because that's the only thing keeping him alive."

Sawyer raised his gun up and pointed a finger at it. "Well here's an idea: Why don't we take a gun, point it to his big toe, send that little piggy to market."Annie looked at Ben and saw an amused grin spread across his face. She couldn't help but grin too. Sawyer _did _sound pretty ridiculous, yet he still continued. "And if he still doesn't want to tell us, we'll move on to the roast beef. Now why don't we do that?"

"Cause then we'd have to carry him."

Annie scoffed just slightly and Sawyer shot her a nasty look. "Find that funny, Red?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. And I don't appreciate the nicknames."

"All the more reason-"

Ben rolled his eyes at the hot-headed man. "Just leave her alone, James."

"You shut up," he shot harshly at Ben before his frown turned into a smirk. "Ehhhh, I see what's going on. Aren't you a natural-born Prince Charming."

"What?" Ben asked him increduously, followed by Annie echoing him.

Sawyer looked at Annie and then at Ben. "Never mind," he said with a smirk, and before he could say anything else, Locke spoke up.

"No, Hugo, it was here."

"Well, what's in this cabin that's so important anyway?" Hurley asked.

Ben smiled. "John's looking for someone to tell him what to do next."

Locke chose to ignore him and put his hands on his hips. "I guess I was mistaken. It doesn't matter, the plan's the same. We keep moving. The Barracks aren't far."

Sawyer nodded and pointed a finger at Charlotte. "Yeah, and Red here was wearing a vest. Which means her posse's gonna come expecting themselves a gun fight."

Hurley was frowning as he spoke up. "If all they want is her, maybe we should just let her go? I mean, I thought we were just gonna go hide. Why do we need to take prisoners?"

"Because she's valuable to us."

"What do you mean?" Hurly asked in confusion.

"He means as a hostage, love," Charlotte supplied and Hurley's eyes widened.

He shook his head. "No, that's not what I signed up for."

As Locke and Hurley battled it out, Annie turned to Ben. "So, where's this cabin Locke was looking for? Or is he as crazy as he seems?"

"Oh, the cabin exists. It just moves from place to place. John would never have found it back here."

"It _moves_?" Annie stared at Ben in disbelief. "Are you insane?"

He shook his head. "Not in the slightest. You could ask John if you wanted."

Annie shrugged. "You've been mostly right so far." She turned back to look at John who was staring hard at Hurley. They were standing only inches away from each other. John opened his mouth to speak.

"We're beyond compromise. And right now, Hugo, I'm making the decisions. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

Annie raised her eyebrows and leaned sideways to whisper to Ben. "Right now, I think he's scarier than you."

"Really?" Ben sounded surprised, but his lips twisted up in an obvious expression of humor. "Didn't think I'd ever hear you say that."

"Well, you've heard it now, Benjamin Linus," and she smirked right back at him.


	22. Chapter 22

_** Three reviews this week! Yippee!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o0**_

The barracks were in a complete state of disarray from when the Others had left it in their hurry. Without anyone living in it for the past week, things had already begun to go to pot, and surprisingly fast too.

Locke was leading the group as they entered the abandoned village. For most of the survivors, it was the first time they had laid eyes on Othersville. For Ben, it was home. But for Annie, it was so very much more. It was the home she had felt she had missed for an eternity. She had forgotten so many things about it. Being back was like a dream within a dream. Ben watched her closely as her face paled and her eyes filled with unshed tears. It was a strange sight. She had been so emotionless in the last week. To see her like this was almost comforting...almost.

"Are you alright?" He whispered to her. She turned to him and looked surprised that he had even asked. She bit her lip but said nothing and focused on staring straight ahead.

"Hugo," John called to Hurley. Neither had spoken a word to each other since their exchange a few hours ago. "Come here please."

Hurley frowned but obeyed. "What do you want?"

"There's no reason to be hostile," John said with a smile. "Can I have your wrists?"

"Why?"

"Just give me your wrists, Hugo." John's voice was kind but there was unmistakeable force in it. Hurley, albeit begrudgingly, did as he said, and then John produced a piece of vine from within his back pocket. He began to bind Hurley's wrists.

Hurley's eyes widened. "Dude, what are you doing?!"

"Just stay still," John grunted. "Now listen to me. I'm sure our friends from the beach will be coming here shortly to look for Charlotte."

"Yeah? And what does that have to do with you tying me up?"

"You're going to lead them to us, Hugo," he explained, "They're going to find you all tied up and you're going to tell them that we did this to you because you weren't being compliant. Then, you lead them to Ben's house, and we'll take care of the rest."

Hurley furrowed his brows. "What makes you think I won't just tell them about you guys?"

"Because you know that the people they have with them are dangerous. If you tell them about us, then you stand to let everyone here die because of it. Is that something you _really _want to do, Hugo?"

"You've gone nuts, dude."

John just grinned all the more and took a bandana from one of the women and wrapped it around Hurley's eyes. "Just trust me. You shouldn't be in that closet too long."

"Closet?" Hurley shouted frantically as John began to lead him into one of the bungalows. "Dude, I don't think I ever told you this, but I'm highly claustrophobic. Big men don't do good trapped in closets."

"Think about Claire, Hugo, and Aaron. By doing this, you're protecting the both of them."

Hurley was silent for several long seconds before he finally allowed John to lead him into the closet and shut the door.

"I hope you're a good liar, Hugo."

"Me too," but John was already gone.

He walked out amidst the rest of the group. Some of them looked displeased with his plan. Most were just indifferent.

"Now what, John?" Claire asked.

"Well now we figure out what to do with those two," he replied, shooting a glance at Ben and Annie. "I think the rec room should hold them nicely."

"We're _not _your prisoners," Annie seethed at him, blinking away the painful tears. She shouldn't be a prisoner in her own home, especially the one she hadn't seen in twenty whole years!

John smirked. "If you'll excuse me, Annie, I heartily disagree. You tried to kill a woman, and Ben tried to kill me. That gives me as much of an excuse as anyone to keep you two under lock and key until we figure out what to do with you." He looked at Sawyer and then at Danielle. "Bring them. The rest of you can visit any of the homes within view. Eat, rest, but on my signal, you are all to hide and be as quiet as you can. Understood?" The group nodded and spread out while John led the remaining four in the direction of the rec room.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ben asked again, clearly concerned. Annie's face was growing paler by the second as she remembered memory after memory of what had been her pleasant but lost life in the barracks.

"Stop asking me that,"Annie snapped and then instantly felt guilty. He was just trying to see if she was okay. Of course, she would be perfectly fine if he hadn't been the one to send her out into a merciless jungle for the next twenty years of her life! She bit her tongue to keep from screaming out at him. "I'm sorry," she managed to ground out, "It's just really strange being back here."

He actually gave her a small smile. "Trust me, I understand. And...I'm sorry too."

Annie shot him a surprised look. "What did you just say?"

"I just never told you," he explained. "I'm very sorry for what I did to you, Annie. More so than you'll ever really know."

She was in shock but she didn't have time to say anything more. Annie's eyes fell on a sight she had never thought she would see again. Her old home. The small bungalow on the farthest corner of the west side of the village. This time she couldn't hold back the tears, not even with all of the strength she possessed. She could feel everyone's eyes on her as she just stopped and stared. A big lump formed in her throat and she felt like she was choking. She couldn't breathe.

"Come on, Red. Let's move," Sawyer ordered her as he pulled her ropes just a bit tighter. Annie didn't move though. She dug her heels hard into the ground and stayed, biting her tongue hard to keep from crying out as the vines dug into her wrists. Sawyer frowned at her. "What the hell are you staring at?" Annie was silent, her eyes far too busy trailing the entire outside of the bungalow. "I said _come on_." He yanked again and this time she didn't have enough strength to resist and she went flying forward, bumping into Sawyer himself.

"Leave her alone, James," Ben commanded in a hard tone. "Show some respect."

Sawyer's attention rested on Ben. "Oh, yeah? And what should I be respectin' there, Glasses?"

"This was her home," Ben explained slowly, but he was clearly upset with Sawyer's behavior, "And she hasn't seen it for nearly twenty years. Give her a moment, for God's sake!"

"I'm afraid a moment isn't what we have right now, Benjamin," Locke replied in a steady tone and then turned to Annie. "If you could follow us please."

Annie stayed rooted in her spot. "Please, just let me go inside."

"That can't happen right now, Annie. Soon."

"Just. Let. Me. Go. INSIDE!" She screamed at him and Locke seemed slightly taken aback by her outburst.

"John," Ben remarked, "I think you should-"

"Shut up!" Came the man's response.

It was clear John didn't know how to handle Annie, and neither did Sawyer. "James, bring her."

Sawyer nodded his head and grabbed Annie by the waist. "Come on, Red. You're not helpin' anything by throwing a fit. Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" She was in hysterics by now and she bit down on Sawyer's arm. Hard. The man howled in pain and released her. She took off running in the direction of the front porch, the limp vine trailing behind her.

Locke chased after her, quickly grabbing her and lifting her up. "Let me down!" She thrashed wildly. "Let go of me!"

"Annie!" Locke grunted as he held onto her as tightly as he could. "Stop!"

"Make me!" She retorted.

"As you wish," came John's reply and then Sawyer hit her on the head with the butt of his gun. Her head exploded with pain before she went limp in John's arms.

_ The sun was shining brightly. Annie liked to lay down in the grass and look up at the sky through the breaks in the leaves of the trees. The wind blew at her thin red strands of hair. She sighed in contentment. It was days like these that made life on this Island worth more than anything else in the world. _

_ She felt movement beside her and she turned her head to see that Ben had shifted so that his arms were propping his head up off the ground. She smiled as she watched him. He too liked trying to spot the sky through the thick growth of trees. Both could be quiet that way, meditative. It was comforting._

_ She sighed again._

_ "What's wrong?" Ben asked her._

_ "Nothing. Why?"_

_ "That's the third time you've sighed in the last five minutes."_

_ Annie shrugged. "I guess I'm just thinking."_

_ "About what?"_

_ "Nothing."_

_ Ben turned his head to look at her. "How can you be thinking about nothing?" Rational to no end. It made Annie giggle._

_ She shifted so that she was laying on her side and looking at him. "I just can, k?"_

_ He followed her movements. "It just makes no sense."_

_ "You don't ever think about nothing?"_

_ "Like I said, it's impossible."_

_ Annie stuck her tongue out at him. "Spoil-sport." Ben grinned then and she couldn't help but smile with him. He didn't smile often, but when he did, Annie found it to be contagious. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Ben?"_

_ He shrugged. "Not a workman."_

_ Annie shot him a look. "I don't mean here. If you could be anything that you wanted, what would you pick?"_

_ Ben was silent as he thought. "An engineer."_

_ "Why?" She asked, genuinely curious as to his choice._

_ "Because then I could fix things that were broken, and make new things too."_

_ "I think I want to be a nurse, that way I can help people all day and make them feel better. I don't like seeing people hurt."_

_ Ben smiled at her. "I think you'd make a great nurse. Or a teacher."_

_ "Thanks," she said as she flipped onto her back to look back up at the trees. "Ben?"_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "I hope you get to be an engineer when you grow up."_

_ "And I hope you get to be a nurse."_

"I just don't understand why hitting her over the head was necessary," she heard a familiar voice speak through the haziness of her mind. If only she could just open her eyes...but her head was drumming far too painfully.

"Because, Benjamin," came another voice she instantly recognized as belonging to John Locke, "She wasn't cooperating."

Ben groaned. "For God's sake, John! This is her _home_. She hasn't been back here in two decades. The least you could have done was let her see the inside of her own house!"

"I'm not going to apologize, Ben. I don't know what she went through, living all alone in that jungle, but she's crazy. If you ask me, keeping her quiet is the best thing for everyone."

"She's _not _crazy," Ben responded in a firm voice, and Annie didn't know why his admittance made her feel warm and comforted. Did Ben really not believe that she had been driven insane? If so, then maybe she really wasn't crazy after all.

But John sighed. "You know she is, Ben. I don't know what she once meant to you, or even if she still means something to you, but you can't deny that the Island messed up her head. Unless you're telling me that she was always this angry, rash, and violent? She shot a woman in cold blood, for God's sake! Tell me that's not crazy, Ben."

"She did what she had to...to keep us all safe."

"No. She did what _you _wanted," Locked replied coldly. "But you didn't answer my question. Was she always this angry and irrational back when you knew her?"

Ben was silent for a long time and Annie's heart slowly began to fall. "No," he answered honestly and then her heart plummeted fast and hard. Maybe she really was crazy and Ben had just realized the truth.

She could almost picture the smug look on John's face at his proven point. "Well then, she should be awake in a few minutes. I'll leave you two to it."

"To what?"

"You haven't seen each other in twenty years. I'm sure you can think of _something_ to talk about."

Annie heard a succession of footsteps and then a door being opened and closed. She figured it was safe enough to stop pretending that she was still unconscious. Her head was not drumming nearly as hard as it had been, and so she moved to open her eyes.

"I know you're awake," Ben said before she could do so.

She opened her eyes and lifted her head up. The movement was too fast and her vision became spotted with black dots. "What did Locke want?" She asked when she was finally able to see Ben. His hands were tied to the chair he was sitting on, as were hers.

He raised his eyebrows. "I don't think you need me to answer that question, as I assume you heard most of our conversation."

"Fine. How long was I out?"

"About fifteen minutes. They brought us here and tied us up. I think James was ready to kill you himself."

Annie smirked. "How badly did I hurt him?"

"Enough to draw blood," Ben smirked right back and he actually looked proud of her. Annie couldn't help but look down at her boots. The thought of Ben actually being proud of her made her feel uncomfortable, but not in a totally bad way.

"So..." she began somewhat awkwardly. "When I blacked out I had a dream."

When she raised her head to look at him, she found that Ben was already staring right back. "About what?"

"About the day you and I were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up." She couldn't help but grin at the memory. "You wanted to be an engineer."

"And you wanted to be a nurse," Ben replied with a small smile. "So you could help people." His lips twitched. "I'd almost forgotten."

Annie shook her head. "I guess neither one of us got our wish."

He just shrugged. "We were little kids, Annie. Little kids with larger-than-life fantasies. They were nothing but dreams."

"I wonder – if thing's had been different – if maybe I would have gotten my dream."

"You mean if I hadn't cut your life prematurely and banished you into the jungle?" Her eyes widened at his bluntness but he continued. "I did horrible things to you, Annie, and I will readily admit to them. There's no reason to be delicate about it."

Annie bit her lip and looked at Ben. She could see it in his eyes, he was genuinely sorry and the guilt was slowly beginning to plague him. Of course, she doubted he would ever admit it in as many words, but she could still see it nonetheless. "You know, Ben, I spent years – decades – wishing that what had happened to me hadn't. I begged every god known to man to reverse time to make it so I was never forced to live in that hell. I even prayed that they would make it so that I'd never met you. And...now...after all that, I realize that being out in that jungle, alone and forced to survive, made me into the person that I am today. I don't know if it made me stronger or just crazy."

"You're not crazy," he assured her in a voice full of certainty. It was so strong-sounding a conviction that she couldn't help but just stare at him.

"Do you really believe that?"  
He frowned at her. "Of course I do. Danielle Rousseau is crazy. John Locke is crazy. You are just..."

"Broken," she interrupted and then sighed.

"I don't think you're broken either. Broken suggests that you've given up on life. I think you're just damaged, and after all you've been through, I would never blame you for being so."

Annie smiled softly. It smoothed away all of the worry lines and wrinkles of the past. It made her look so much younger. To Ben, she looked like the Annie he had once known. "Thank you. It's been far too long since someone said that they didn't think I was crazy."

"Does this mean you've forgotten your death wish against me?" He smirked in jest.

"That remains to be seen," came her neutral response before they both fell silent.

Ben's gaze never left her and she could only stare back for so long before she was forced to look away. The longer he stared, the warmer she felt. Annie didn't even know if she was blushing. She hadn't blushed in twenty years. How then was she supposed to remember what blushing felt like?

"So, do you want to talk?"  
"Talk?" She asked, surprised at his strange question.

He nodded. "Locke suggested that since we hadn't seen each other in such a long time that we should talk."

"Okay then. What about?"

Ben shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

Annie was silent as she thought of a topic, and then, when she had finally found one, she opened her mouth to tell a story. "There was this one time when I helped a mother boar give birth...I was out hunting when all of a sudden I heard this blood-curdling scream...I went in search of the sound and that's when I found her..."

And the two of them talked for the first real time in two decades.


	23. Chapter 23

"Wait," she stopped him mid-sentence. "You mean they _actually _thought the bungalow was haunted?" Annie couldn't help but chuckle as the absolute ridiculousness of the situation struck her.

"Yes!" Ben exclaimed in enthusiasm. "And you know, I tried to explain to them that it was just an electric circuit gone wrong, but they wouldn't believe me." He laughed. "Someone had been telling one too many ghost stories the night before!"

Annie stopped laughing just long enough to ask another question. "What happened when they found out you were right?"

"Well, that's the funniest bit of all. After everyone found out that it _was _just a problem with the electric, no one spoke about it again. _And_, on the off chance that someone _did _mention it, everyone denied that they ever thought it was really haunted – even the ones who had been at the forefront of the whole thing!" Ben finished his story with another laugh and Annie joined in.

"Oh, God," Annie said with another chuckle, "I haven't laughed like that in forever."

Ben shook his head and smirked good-naturedly. "Me neither."

They looked at one another, trying to keep straight faces, but then Annie thought of that ridiculous story all over again, and her lips fought hard to smile. Try as she might, she couldn't suppress it, and both her and Ben started laughing all over again.

The door to the rec room opened. Ben and Annie's laughter dwindled as Locke entered the room. "Sorry to spoil the party, you two, but I've got someone here who is very much in the same situation as you are." He pushed the man forward and Ben instantly recognized him. It was Sayid. John finished tying Sayid to a chair and then straightened up. "Enjoy your new cellmate."

Ben looked hard at Sayid, and Sayid at him. Hadn't the last time he had seen him been when he was pretending to be Henry Gale? Yes, and Sayid had tortured him. _Good memories on both ends_, he mused. "Looks like they ran out of jail space," he quipped.

"Looks like they didn't have a jail to begin with, or else you would be there," the man countered in his thick Iraqi accent.

"Oh, didn't you hear?" Ben said sarcastically. "I'm John's adviser. Yeah. I'm just waiting to be summoned. Shouldn't be long now."

Sayid rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but Annie intervened. "Do I really have to sit here and listen to this?" She groaned. "Because the testosterone in the room is really starting to get on my nerves. Ben, are you going to introduce me to your _friend_ ?"

"Annie, this is Sayid Jarrah, an Iraqi torturer," he said distastefully. "Sayid, meet Annie."

"Torturer?" Annie echoed. "From Iraq? Wow. Were you an interrogator for some armed guard or something like that?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Sayid nodded his head. His reply was tight, but he seemed to be relaxing just a bit with Annie around. "Does that frighten you?"

She shook her head. "No. More like interests me."

"You're a strange one, aren't you?"

"You have no idea." But it wasn't Annie who spoke, it was Ben.

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You sound as if you know me."

"I do know you, remember?"

"Not as much as you think."

He gave her an exasperated look. "Out of the three people in this room, how many know you better than I do?" He pointed out.

"Me," she responded with a triumphant grin and his face fell. He hadn't thought of that as an answer to his question. "Oh, stop skulking," she said, "You can't win every argument we have."

"But I can still try."

Sayid was silent throughout the exchange. Silent and observant. These two were strange together, stranger than when they were apart.

"I didn't know you were married, Benjamin," he stated as he made the most rational conclusion as to the nature of their relationship. They even squabbled like an old, exasperated married couple.

That statement shut both of them up as their heads swiveled to look at Sayid..

"We are NOT married," Annie replied forcefully, though her face felt really warm. This time, she was sure she was blushing. And why shouldn't she? How could Sayid have even thought that?

"Not even close," Ben added, "She is _not_ my wife," he tacked on for good measure. He glanced over and saw that Annie had turned a deep shade of red. He doubted that he was blushing, but the palms of his hands were suddenly sweating. Just the thought of being married to Annie...it was preposterous! It made no sense! And it flustered him.

Sayid just shrugged, hiding a smirk at the reactions the two had towards his question. "Oh, forgive me. My mistake. So, how do you two know each other?"

Ben and Annie looked at each other long and hard, but trying to find a simple and concise way to sum up their more than complicated past was more difficult than they had thought. "We're..." Annie began but failed to finish. Ben had once meant so much to her. She had thought that – – well, what she had thought didn't matter. She had obviously felt more for him than he had for her. So, what had they really been?

"Old friends," Ben finished her sentence as he stared at her.

Yes. For lack of better words, that was exactly what they had once been. When all of the history and the romance, and the abandonment, and the murder was stripped away, and they could forget for just one minute how screwed up their lives really were, that was at the heart of it. Two old friends, who had once been inseparably close.

Annie had almost forgotten...and it was that thought that made her look away from Ben's searching eyes. He was trying to read her, to gauge her reaction as he had once done so often, but she refused to let him see, to let him see _her_. Because, then, there would be no hiding, no denying the fact that perhaps – just perhaps – there was still a part of her that missed him, that missed the friendship and the romance and the inseparableness.

Maybe there was still a part of her that missed Benjamin Linus, and if that was the case, then did she really hate him as much as she seemed to?

These thoughts warred inside Annie's mind, and thrashed within her heart. In one simple afternoon, her emotions had become scrambled, her convictions and feelings complicated. She didn't know what to think.

But there was one thing she knew for certain as she forced herself not to turn her head to look at Ben, and that was that she didn't want to kill him. She didn't want to see him dead. Because in this world of outsiders and John Locke and danger, Ben was the closest thing she had to a friend. And she would cherish that. Because without him, she would truly be all alone.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Annie was the teacher's pet, plain and simple. She was smart, and polite. She never talked in class unless it was to answer one of Miss Granger's questions, and even then, she made sure she always raised her hand first. In fact, apart from Ben and this other girl named Molly, Annie was usually the only other one to answer the teacher's questions. For that reason, Miss Granger always placed special attention on the young red-headed girl.

One warm spring day, after school had been dismissed, Annie grabbed her books and rushed to meet Ben at the door. She had practically been bouncing in her seat since class had begun. It was such a gorgeous day, and she wanted nothing more than to be outside and enjoying it.

"Annie, can I speak with you?" She heard Miss Granger call before she could reach the door. That was strange. She was nearly seventeen now and Miss Granger had never kept her after school. She began to grow nervous.

Annie shot a quick apologetic look at Ben before she turned back around and headed for the front of the classroom. "Yes, Miss Granger?"  
Part of the reason why Annie loved Miss Granger was because of her smile. It was a bright smile, a soothing smile; it was the smile that she was wearing right now. That calmed Annie immediately. That smile meant that she wasn't in trouble. Another reason Annie loved her teacher was because they had the same red hair. No one else had red hair quite as bright as Annie's and Miss Granger's.

"Annie, I wonder if I might talk to you about something special."

"Special, Miss Granger?"

She nodded. "Mhmm. And important."

"What about?"

"You, Annie."

Annie's nervousness was back. "Me? Why? Have I done something wrong?" Her teacher's laugh put her at ease.

"Goodness, not at all. You are my best student, Annie, which is why I could think of no one else to talk to about this." Miss Granger looked down at her shoes and then back up at Annie. "Annie, I'm leaving the Island."

The girl's eyes widened in shock. "What?!" She cried out. "But you can't, Miss Granger!"

"But I am, Annie. I came to this Island to get a taste of what it would be like, and I have not been disappointed. But my three year contract is up, and though I am sure Horace would have no problem in letting me stay here and remain as your teacher, I want to go home. I miss my family, and I need to get on with my life."

Annie was silent. She just couldn't believe it. Miss Granger...leave? Besides her parents and Ben, her teacher was her most favorite person in the entire world. She couldn't imagine her not being there with her.

"Are you alright?" Miss Granger asked her.

The girl startled. "Yes...it's just...I don't want you to leave. I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you too," she responded, touched, "And believe me, a part of me wishes I could stay. But I know that this is for the best."

"But why are you telling me all of this?"

Miss Granger smiled yet again, and Annie felt a bit better. "Ah, right. The _real _reason I called you. Annie, this Island will need a new teacher in my absence. And I would like _you _to apply for the job."

Again, her eyes widened. "Me? Miss Granger, I'm not even seventeen!"

"You're seventeen in three months, and I am confident that you can learn all the required material by the time of your birthday. You're already ahead of everyone in this class. Annie-" Miss Granger took her hands in her own, "-I know you can do it. More than that, I trust you can do it. There isn't anyone else I would want to have this position once I'm gone."

"I just can't believe it."

The dumbfounded expression on the girl's face made the woman chuckle. "In a good way or bad?"

"Well, good, I guess. I just wasn't expecting this. Me, a teacher?" Annie shook her head. "Some kids in class are older than I am!"  
"Yes, that is true. But as long as you show them that you know what you're doing, and you make them respect you, they'll love you before you know it! What do you say?"

"Well..." Annie grinned, "I guess there's no harm in trying."

Miss Granger clapped her hands together. "Excellent! Now, we'll have a lot of work to do in the next few months, but as long as you work no harder than you do now, I'm sure you'll be able to pass the evaluation without a hitch. Besides, I doubt anyone else will be applying for the job, so I think you'll have it in the bag." She winked.

"And will you be there when I'm taking the test?"

"I promise I won't leave until you pass and become a teacher!"

Annie was finally starting to feel excited. A teacher! "I can't believe this! I'm going to be a teacher! Thank you!" She wrapped her arms around the woman and hugged her tight. "Thank you so much!"

"You're very welcome!"

"I have to go tell Ben!" She cried excitedly before she ran out the door.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0_

The door opened yet again, revealing the face that Annie had least expected to see. Danielle Rousseau stepped into the room and towards them. She shot a look at Sayid first, then at Ben, and finally, at Annie.

"Danielle," Sayid called out, "Can't you end this madness? Talk to Locke and have him release me! He's gone insane!"

"More insane than you, I suppose, Sayid?" The French woman responded in a dry tone. "You who want to bring these people to us, to show them where we live and sleep and breathe. You know nothing of why they are here."

"Neither do you."

"I know that they are here for some certain reason, and that it is _not _to rescue us." It was clear that she didn't wish to say anymore to him and so she turned her head back towards Annie. Slowly she began to approach her. "Are you alright?"

Annie nodded. "And you?"

"Fine. I have my daughter back. Has Locke hurt you at all?"

"Besides my pride?" She scoffed. "No. Although, I thought it was a bit ridiculous that I couldn't even go inside my own home before I was thrown into this little jail cell with these two."

Danielle frowned sympathetically. "I will try to talk to John and have you released, but I doubt my opinion will be any help. He doesn't seem to listen to anyone but the voices inside his own head."

"Hold on," Ben interjected in confusion, "I'm sorry, but...do you two _know _each other?"

Annie rolled her eyes at him. "Danielle and I lived all alone in the jungle for twenty years. You honestly didn't think we would have never met?"

"No, it's just...I assumed one of you would have killed the other."

"Well, we didn't. As strange as it may sound, Danielle has been my only friend for the last two decades. If it wasn't for her, I probably would have never survived."

Ben seemed surprised, but he hid it well. "I suppose that I have you to thank then, Danielle."

"For what? Doing what you failed to?" Rousseau replied coldly.

"Danielle-" Annie interceded; she understood Rousseau's own personal grudge against Ben, but that didn't mean she needed to be brutal to him on her account.

Ben interrupted though. "No, it's alright, Annie. She's right. Which is why I am thanking you," he said, once again addressing Danielle. The French woman seemed slightly taken aback by his strange and unorthodox behavior. Apologizing to her? When she glanced at Annie, she saw that she too was slightly confused. Danielle just shrugged it off. "Danielle, I wondered if I would be able to see Alex anytime soon-"

"No."

"I beg your pardon? She is my daughter."

"I'd rather rot in hell before she ever was your daughter!" Danielle shouted back.

Ben scoffed. "I was the one who raised her."

"You stole her from me!"

"Are we going to have this discussion every time we meet? I _deserve_ to see her."

"After everything you've done, you don't deserve anything. It is only for Annie's sake that I don't kill you now."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "Annie? I think Alex might be a bit upset too, don't you think?"

Danielle set her lips in a thin line. "Alex is young and has been reunited with her real mother. You have hurt her time and time again. I think _she _would eventually forget about you."

"And Annie wouldn't? My own daughter would forget me, but she," he motioned towards Annie with his head, "Wouldn't? How do you figure that, Rousseau? I am curious."

But she just shook her head at him and looked at Annie. "I'll try to get you out of here." And then she turned away and left.

"Crazy French woman," Ben muttered under his breath.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0_

"Ben!" Annie cried as she exited the schoolhouse, delighted to see that he was standing just outside. "You didn't have to wait for me."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. Miss Granger has never kept you after school before. What did she want?" She could see that he was just as concerned as she had been when Miss Granger had called on her.

Annie grinned a large, girlish grin and did not hesitate in wrapping her arms around him. "I just can't believe it!"

"Believe what?" He asked as she released him.

She didn't answer right away though. Instead, she grabbed his hand in a vice-like grip and ran towards the jungle to their secret place, secluded from the view of the rest of the village. When they finally arrived, Ben smiled.

"Now that you've run me halfway across the Island, are you going to tell me what happened with Miss Granger?"

Annie hugged him again, this time tighter, and he did not hesitate in returning the gesture. She held him a bit longer than usual. He could feel her smiling into his shoulder. "I'm going to be a teacher," she finally admitted.

Ben stiffened and then released her just a bit, so that he could see her face. She wasn't joking. "A teacher?"

Annie nodded. "Miss Granger's leaving and going back to the mainland. She said that she wants me to apply for the teaching position and take her place after she's gone."

"But you haven't finished school yet."

"No, I haven't. But Miss Granger tells me I'm nearly finished. She believes I can do it, Ben, and I actually do too. I never knew I wanted to be a teacher until she told me. Aren't you happy for me?" Annie asked finally, realizing that he was being awfully quiet.

Ben shook his head. "No, I'm not happy for you." And her heart fell. What? How could he not be? Then, his lips pulled up into a huge smile and he added, "I'm thrilled for you."

Laughing, she pulled him into another hug. "Can you believe it?"

"Yeah, I actually can. But-" he pulled away from her, "There is one thing-"

"What?"

"Does this mean you're actually going to be _my _teacher?" He sounded upset by the idea, but she could tell that he was teasing her. "Do I actually have to call you Miss Walsh?"

Annie stuck her tongue between her teeth as she thought about it. "It does have a ring to it, doesn't it?"

_**0o0o0o0o0o0**_

_** I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I am really excited for the next one. You know that doll that Annie made for Ben on his birthday? I only recently made the connection that he brought that doll everywhere with him. He brought it with him during the Purge, and also when the Others left the barracks with John Locke and Locke's father. Ya'll remember? Well, anyways, that discovery has inspired the next chapter, and I know I can't wait until you all read it!**_

_** Intrigued? Leave me a review telling me how much! Which reminds me, thank you to the two new guests who have been reviewing on the past two couple of chapters. Your support is much appreciated! Welcome to the Someone I Lost family :)**_


	24. Chapter 24

_** Normally, I would've updated my other story, "Try To Remember", before updating this one so soon. But I recieved a review from one of you, telling me that you were checking every few hours to see if I had uploaded a new chapter. Well, I was just so flattered, and I felt bad about you having to wait. So I pushed everything else aside, buckled down, and belted this chapter out. I hope it was worth the wait!**_

_** Any of you religious Losties may realize that I have changed the story just a bit in this chapter. I used my creative license to help my story flow just a little better. I promise it's not a big change, and some of you may not even notice.**_

_** Cheers!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o**_

Two days they had been tied up in this rec room. Two long, hot, frustrating days. Annie was just about ready to kill someone or something, and Ben wasn't far behind her. There was no reason that they should be treated like animals waiting to be slaughtered!

"Finally," Annie muttered as John walked in, "I was beginning to think you had forgotten about us."

He smirked. "I think she's starting to pick up on your impeccable taste in sarcasm," he addressed Ben.

"Is that a compliment I hear, John?" Ben shot back with even more sarcasm. John just shook his head and chuckled under his breath. "What's so funny?"

"You two. Just dying to get out of here."

"Can you blame us?" Annie fired back. "It's not like the conditions of our imprisonment are anywhere near enjoyable."

John nodded his head and sat down. "Yes, well, I am sorry about all of this. But I don't trust either of you."

"I noticed Sayid never came back. What did you do to him, John?" Ben asked.

"Oh, Sayid's probably back at the beach by now. I traded him Charlotte for one of the others who landed on the Island. Ever heard of a Miles Straum?"

"I might have."

"I'll take that as a yes. What can you tell me about him?"

Ben looked at him shrewdly. "How about I tell you something of far more importance than Mr. Straume. Say I tell you about the one they work for, the man who actually sent these people to the Island?"

John smirked. "And what do you want in return?"

He shook his head. "Not much. You let Annie and I out of here. Give us some semblance of freedom, let us sleep in our own beds and eat with utensils, and I give you my word that I'll tell you everything I know about the man who sent these people and their freighter."

"Yeah, but see, there's the problem. I don't trust your word."

"Well, then, I guess I'll just have to show you. But that does involve untying me."

John seemed to think about it for a few seconds and then he nodded his head. "Fine. But no tricks. You're not leading me out into the jungle so you can disappear or shoot me in the back."

"No tricks, John. All you have to do is bring me to my living room. Everything I need to show you is right there."

"Okay." John stood up and cut Ben loose, but left Annie bound. "But she's staying here until you fulfill your end of the bargain. Just to make sure you don't try anything."

Ben nodded his head. "Fine." As John led him out, he turned back around and shot an apologetic look at Annie. She sighed. It looked like she would have to stay there for another couple of hours. Hopefully Ben would hurry it up.

Ben was standing within the comfort of his own living room once again, but it was far from comfortable with John Locke watching his every move. He retrieved the VHS from its hiding place behind the picture and then he set it up. John sat down as the tape began to play.

"Who is that?" He asked as a man came onto the screen. He was stepping out of a dark limousine.

"This is Charles Widmore. This is the man whose boat is parked offshore. This is the man that's been trying to find the Island."

John watched as a henchman removed a blindfolded man from the limousine and stood him in front of the man known as Widmore. "Who's the man wearing the blindfold?" He asked.

"One of my men who had the misfortune of getting caught," Ben responded dryly. Misfortune indeed. They watched as Widmore began to beat the man with his fists.

"How does Widmore know about the Island?"

"I don't know, but he does."

"What does he want?"

Ben eyed Locke and sighed. "John, three months ago in Gainesville, Florida, the Virgin Mary seemed to appear in a patch of mold on the side of an old housing complex. When the word got out, over 5,000 people came to see her face for themselves. You've survived an airline crash on this island. One minute, you're in a wheelchair. The next minute, you're doing jumping jacks. If 5,000 people came out to see a piece of mold, how many people do you think would come here to see you? Charles Widmore wants to exploit this island, and he'll do everything in his power to possess it."

John's eyes widened just slightly. His head turned back to the tape just as it was cut. There was nothing more to see, but now he had the face of the enemy engraved into his mind. He knew who they were all fighting.

Ben stood up and retrieved a stack of folders from behind the same picture and handed them to John. "Everything I know about Charles Widmore is in this file. Some of it's vague, some of it's guesswork, some of it's concrete. But this is everything, and now it's all yours." He paused and then continued. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this sooner. But it was the only bargaining chip I had left."

"There's only one more thing I need to know, and then I'll set Annie free. Who is your man on their boat?"

Ben nodded. "Right. It's Michael Dawson." John's eyes widened but he said nothing.

Annie's head lifted up as she heard the door to the rec room open. _Finally_, she couldn't resist thinking. Her arms burned, her shoulder felt like they were about to pop right out of her sockets, her body was covered in a sheen of sweat, and her throat was parched.

John walked up from behind her and cut the vines around her arms and legs. "Looks like you're free to go."

Annie didn't say anything to him as she rubbed at the bleeding marks the vines had left on her wrists. She glared at John as he looked from her to Ben and then back at her. "I hope you two realize that the only reason I'm letting you go is because I made a deal for some valuable information that I needed. Should either of you do _anything_ to make me regret my decision, I will waste no time in locking you back up in here. Understood?"

Ben gave John a look that screamed that he felt patronized. Annie just nodded her head. John seemed less than convinced but he smiled nonetheless. "Good."

"Now, John," Ben spoke, "There is just one more thing. Where are my things?"

"Your things?"

"Before I was so rudely taken hostage by you and your little group, I had a satchel with me, as well as a canteen. I want to know where they both are." Ben wasn't asking. He was demanding. Annie knew that whatever was in that satchel must be very important. Perhaps some files or other Island secrets. Either way, Ben wanted it back. His eyes gave John no other ultimatum.

The man nodded. "Ahh, yes. I had someone take them to your home when we got here. You should find everything in order."

Ben seemed satisfied and so he nodded once at John before he left the room. Annie followed, not sure of what else to do.

"It must be strange being back here," Annie said as she finished drying the last of the dishes and handed them off to Ben.

"I could say the same for you. I'm surprised you didn't stay at your place."

Annie shrugged. "Not mine anymore. Some of the others moved themselves in there, and I'm not very fond of sharing."

Ben nodded. "Can't say as I blame you. Maybe I could talk to John and see if he can arrange to have you stay there instead."

"Probably not a good idea. I don't think Locke likes you too much right now, and he definitely doesn't like me. Perhaps it would just be better if I stayed here for now...if you wouldn't mind."

"You can stay as long as you want. It's just me here anyway, now that Alex is staying with her mother." He walked to the door and opened it. "I'm going to go sit on the porch for a bit."

"Alright. Hey, Ben -" she called out, "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"It's the least I could do," he replied with a small smile and then left.

Annie hated it when he said that. It was as if he always trying to apologize for what he had done. Once was enough; now it was just constantly reminding her of the past that she so desperately wanted to forget. She was here now, and to her, that was all that mattered.

Amidst her thoughts, Annie's eyes fell on the satchel that Ben had left on the chair in the living room. And her curiosity roared to life. What was in there that had made Ben as adamant as he had been to get it back? She glanced at the door. All was silent, he was not coming. Nevertheless, she found herself creeping towards the bag, careful not to make a sound, as if he would suddenly enter and catch her in the act. Of course, she hadn't snooped in twenty years; surely, she could be cut some slack.

Her hands found the flap and she opened the knapsack. It was nearly empty. Annie leafed through several folders but didn't open them. They all probably just had to do with Island business anyway. Then, her fingers hit something hard and rough, and her hands wrapped around the object and pulled it out. She gasped when she saw what it was.

It was the little doll she had given Ben on his birthday all those years ago. He still had it after all of these years. Hers had been lost long ago...

_It was raining. Annie was crying angrily. Widmore. She would have been better off never knowing the truth. Believing Ben was dead was far better than knowing that he was the reason she was trapped out here. He had done this to her. He had stolen her life. She was going to die because of him!_

_ Annie did something she hadn't done in so long. She reached into her knapsack and grabbed the wooden doll. Once she had realized that she was never going back to the village, she had been glad that she had decided to bring the doll with her. It was a comfort to her and it reminded her of Ben. It was just like what she had said when she had given him the other doll._

_ "That's you and that's me. Now we never have to be away from each other." When she used to hold the doll, it made her feel like Ben was still there._

_ But now, it just reminded her of who Ben was. She hated that doll! Clenching her teeth in anger and hurt, she began to dig a hole in the dirt with only her fingernails. The rain turned the dirt into mud, and it clung to her frame like glue. But she didn't care._

_ The doll was thrown into the hole and then covered up. Annie swore that she would never see it again. _

_ And she never did_.

Annie looked down at the doll in her hands, Ben's doll, and then she went to open the door. She stepped out into the warm night air, the doll was clutched tightly in her hands. Her voice was surprisingly calm as she spoke. "Ben?" He was sitting on the step of the porch.

He turned around startedly. He looked at her and then down at the doll in her hands. He swiveled back around. "You know, it's not very polite to sneak through other peoples' belongings."

"I'm sorry...but...you still have it."

He nodded. "Of course I do."

"You brought it with you," she added in disbelief. "It was in that satchel the whole time."

Ben looked up at her. "Of course it was. I always bring it with me," he quietly admitted before looking away.

"Why?"

"Because I never know if entering that jungle will be my last. And I don't want to lose it."

Annie was silent as she took a seat beside him, the doll in her lap. It was quiet for several seconds before Ben spoke again.

"I know that probably sounds really creepy."

"Creepy wasn't exactly the word I had in mind."

"What did you have in mind?"

Silence. Annie bit her lip. "It's sweet," she admitted quietly and Ben stiffened.

"Annie," he turned his head to look at her and sighed, "That doll is one of the most important things I own."

"It's just a doll," she laughed nervously. Why did he suddenly seem so close?

Ben shook his head and took the doll into his own hands. "It's more than that. It's a birthday present. And after you were gone..." he paused and looked down at his lap. Annie watched as he licked his lips, "It reminded me of you. Every time I looked at this doll, I remembered you."

"Ben?" Annie found her heart beating really fast. She didn't know why, but she placed a hand over his. They held the doll together.

He startled at her touch. "Annie, what are you doing?"

"Ben, can you just be really quiet for a moment?"

He chuckled slightly. "Contrary to when I was young boy, I'm not very good at keeping quiet, as I'm sure-" Ben was cut short as Annie pressed her lips against his. It was a featherlight touch, a kiss that was barely there, and it finished as soon as it began.

As she pulled away, Annie bit her lip. "I don't know why I just did that."

"You're tired," Ben responded in a tight voice. He was trying to keep from trembling at what had just occurred. Something had just happened that he thought would never happen again. He cleared his throat. "You should probably go to bed. You can sleep in Alex's room."

Annie nodded and stood up. She walked to the door.

"Do you need anything else before I turn in?"

"No," she shook her head, "Goodnight, Ben."

"Goodnight, Annie," he whispered after she had gone inside.

Annie hadn't had a nightmare in many months. She had been too exhausted and too empty to see anything in her sleep. But, now, she was almost fully rested, and she wasn't nearly as cold as she had been. So the nightmares came again to pay her a visit. She tossed and turned back and forth, her eyes moving rapidly underneath her lids. She let out a strangled scream and felt trapped by the covers around her.

In her dream, the covers were a pair of strong arms pulling her up off the ground. They were large arms, but she couldn't see the man's face, she could only hear his voice, and it was one she had never heard before.

_"Annie, you must listen to me,"_ it whispered in her ear, _"You must never leave the Island."_

_"How could I?"_ She choked out, still struggling against the man. She felt claustrophobic. The more she struggled, the tighter he held on.

_"There will come a time, not far from now,"_ the voice explained, _"When everything is going to change."_

_"Change how? I don't understand!"_

But the voice didn't answer her. His hands released their tight grip on her arms, and then the world flashed around her. White light nearly blinded her, she tried to shade her eyes, but she couldn't. The light was too strong. When it finally faded, she was in Dharmaville, but it was the way Dharmaville had used to look, the way she had known it. There was another flash of bright light and then she saw herself as a little girl. Young Ben was there. And Sawyer.

Another flash. Charlotte was dead in the jungle, her face covered in blood.

Flash. Annie was running through the jungle frantically. A screeching sound came from behind her, but she didn't look back. She fell down to the ground and a funnel of black smoke passed over her head. She screamed for Ben to save her. But he didn't come.

Flash. Ben was nowhere to be seen. Annie just ran faster and harder, sweat ran all along her body. She couldn't find him. She couldn't find anyone.

_"You must never leave Ben's side,"_ the voice echoed through her mind, _"Or it will be time and space that will separate you, and you will never see him again. Stay with Ben. He alone can protect you from the danger that is to come."_

_ "Stay with Ben."_

Flash. The smoke engulfed her on all sides and she felt herself turn to ash and disappear. Annie fought but nothing could be done.

Annie let out a strangled scream as her eyes finally opened and she sat up straight in bed. The covers clutched at her, smothering her, and the dark was closing in all around her. She wanted to close her eyes and hide from the darkness, but she couldn't.

She saw a crack of light underneath her door, and then her door swung open to reveal Ben. His eyes squinted through his grogginess, but he was definitely alert and awake as he came into her room.

"Annie, are you alright? I heard you scream."

She was still a little breathless and then she began to tremble. "Nightmare," she managed to choke out. Back when she had lived in the jungle and had had terrible night terrors, Danielle was there to soothe her. She would hold her close and just let Annie shake until she fell back to sleep. But that comfort wasn't here. Not with Ben.

He slowly entered the room and approached the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. How could she when she herself couldn't even explain what she had seen? Ben must have seen how violently she was shaking because he rested a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's alright. Nothing's going to hurt you here."

"Not even the black smoke?"

"Especially not that, I promise." Annie looked up at him and then down at her lap. His hand was a comfort to her and her trembling lessened just a bit. After a few more seconds, Ben licked his lips and sighed. "Well, if there's nothing else I can do for you -" He removed his hand and walked to the door.

"Wait!" She called out. _Don't leave me alone. And most importantly, don't shut that door. Don't leave me in the dark alone. _Ben turned back around and she licked her lips. "Can you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep?"

Ben's eyebrows shot high into his hairline in surprise, but then he simply nodded his head and walked back over to the bed and climbed in under the covers next to Annie. She didn't care about how uncomfortable and embarassed she would feel in the morning. She just needed to be close to another human being, even if that human being was Ben. And right now, she wanted it to be him more than anyone else. Even Danielle. She laid her head gingerly on Ben's shoulder, careful not to touch him anywhere else. He must have not known what to do because he stayed as still as possible, only taking the time, after she had settled down, to wrap the comforter tighter around her shoulders.

It took Annie a matter of minutes to fall asleep, but Ben didn't want to wake her, and so he stayed right where he was and just watched her. When a tendril of her hair fell over her eyes, he brushed it away before quickly pulling his fingers back. Just before he fell into unconsciousness, he thought he heard his name slip from between her lips. But, of course, he must have been mistaken.


	25. Chapter 25

_** How ya'll doing? Good? Good. First, a big thank you to thewhitekitten and my two lovely guest reviewers. Virtual brownies for each of you! Hope you like 'em, they're chocolate! Also, I hope I didn't lose any of my fantastic guests because it took me eight days to update. Review and let me know that you're still out there! :) It means more brownies!**_

_** Just so that you all know, now that summer is almost here, less frequent updates may be in order. I'm definitely going to try to update at least once a week, but if I go a little late on that, do not despair! It just means I had an extra long day at work or am stressed out about school and graduation and I will be back within a couple of days! **_

_** Also, I thought I'd let you all know that inspiration has struck! Not inspiration for the more recent chapters, but I actually have an ending in mind, something that I didn't have a clue about at the start of this story. That's not to say that this story will be ending any time soon. We're only in season 4 after all! (This is going to take awhile). I hope all of you will stick with me to the very end!**_

_** Disclaimer: This isn't the first time I have said this and it won't be the last, but listen well. I own nothing of LOST, except the rights to it being my favorite TV show in the history of TV shows. I could say that I own grownup Annie since the writers never took the opportunity to develop that wonderful plot bunny, but I won't do that either, because technically they created little Annie. So. Yeah. Don't own anything. Too bad. So sad. Please don't sue. And if you know any way that would make it possible for me to own Ben...PM ME NOW!**_

_** Now...I shall put an end to this ridiculously long intro. Enjoy the chapter!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

The sun filtered in through the sheer pink curtains of Alex's room and across Annie's still face, making her open her eyes and blink rapidly. It took her several seconds to process where exactly she was and how she had gotten there. It took her even longer to comprehend the bed in which she had slept. She hadn't slept in a bed for nearly twenty years. Annie doubted she would have stayed there all night, more than likely opting to sleep on a sheet on the floor instead, if Ben hadn't joined her last night.

She shook her head and threw back the comforter, fighting the redness that was coming to her cheeks, and just deciding to bear the uncomfortableness swelling in her stomach. She had known when she had asked him to stay with her last night that she would regret it in the morning. It wasn't fair of her to put him in that position. How had he felt about it?  
Heck, scratch regret. Annie didn't regret last night. She was just thoroughly embarassed. What had come over to her to ask something like that? She bit her lip at that and forced herself to stop thinking.

A clattering of dishes came from the kitchen and she noticed that her bedroom door had been left opened. Her arms were cold and bear and she rubbed them with her hands as she left the safety and security offered in her bedroom and faced her very own demon. It was amazing how that was one thing that had remained unchanged since she had come back to the land of civilization. Ben had been her demon for as long as she had been in that cursed jungle; he still was, but for a different reason, one she had yet to discover and understand.

She peered around the corner and saw him standing in front of the sink and looking out of the window. He was sipping on a cup of tea, she could smell its strong aroma from where she was standing. Ben didn't seem to have heard her yet.

"That smells good," Annie spoke up finally and he turned his head to look at her.

"Good morning," he replied simply, but not unkindly. He gave her a small smile and motioned to the tea kettle on the stove. "You want a cup?"  
Annie nodded her head and smiled. "Yes, please." Ben set to work getting her a mug and poured the hot water into it. He added a tea bag and handed it to her. She held the warmth in her hand as she offered him a small smile in thanks. Her eyes closed as she smelled the fragrance wafting from the hot water. "God," she whispered, "I've even forgotten what tea smells like. It's been so long."

Ben quirked his lips at her. "Do you want sugar?"

"Oh, no, this'll be fine." She took a sip and sighed. "I've missed this. Quiet mornings, tea. But it feels strange," she took a seat at the small table when Ben motioned for her to do so. He did the same and just looked at her as she spoke. "Being back is like having to relearn everything all over again. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it."

"It'll take time," he said in a comforting voice, "But it'll all come back ." She smiled at him and he looked away. "Do you want any breakfast?"

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah. Breakfast. Don't tell me you've forgotten what the most important meal of the day is?"

Annie laughed. "No, it's just that out in the jungle breakfast all depended on whether or not you could catch a lizard before noon."

Ben smirked. "Well, I'm afraid we don't have any lizards, but I can make you eggs if you would like. I suppose it's been a long time since you had those. Or toast."

Annie thought as she nursed her tea. "Do you have any cereal?"

"Yeah. But I had to throw away the milk this morning because it'd spoiled."

"It doesn't matter. I'll have that."

"Alright," Ben pushed his seat away from the table, "One bowl of cereal, hold the milk."

Annie was silent as she watched him pour frosted cornflakes into a bowl for her. She remembered how mornings had used to be something like this, relaxed and quiet, just her and him. That had been a long time ago. When things had been much simpler.

Ben set the bowl down in front of her and then sat back down, eying her curiously. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," she lied as she picked up her spoon and began to eat the milk-less cereal. It crunched between her teeth and she savored the sweetness. In that moment, she thought that that bowl of dry cereal was the best thing she had eaten in years.

"What were you dreaming about last night?" Ben posed the question as simply as if he were asking about the weather, but Annie immediately felt threatened and her body stiffened. He frowned slightly. "I'm sorry. I was just curious."

Annie's face was red all over again and she stared hard at her bowl. Images of him coming to her and asking her if she was alright flooded through her brain and she willed them to end. "It's fine—" she began and then paused and took a breath, "It was strange really. Didn't make any sense." Ben was silent and just looked at her. She refused to look up at him. "It was nothing worth waking you up for, that's for sure." Again, he didn't say anything, and finally she was compelled to look up at him. She couldn't read his expression, but he was still staring at her.

"I didn't mind," he finally admitted to her. "If that's what you're worried about. I was glad that you were just able to get some sleep. I think no one is more entitled to it than you are." It was Annie's turn to be silent, not quite sure of what to say next. He continued. "Well, then, I'm not quite sure what's on the agenda for the day, what with John going all commando. Is there anything you would like to do? See? You've been gone for so long. I'm sure there are many things you've missed."

Annie nodded her head and popped a piece of cereal into her mouth. "The school."

Ben grinned and it was a strange sight. "Alright then. Finish your cereal and we can go."

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

"You're going to be fine," he offered in hopes of calming her nerves. "But you need to go in there. Everyone's waiting."

Annie took a deep breath. "I don't think I can do this. I was ridiculous to even think that I could!"

"C'mon. Don't think like that. In fact, just stop thinking and go in there."

"You really think I can do this?" Ben nodded his head and Annie exhaled. "Alright." Her hands were shaking as they turned the doorknob and she walked inside the school. Everyone was already seated and dozens of beady eyes followed her every movement as she walked away from the threshold and over to her desk. She placed her books down and then took another deep breath to settle her queasy stomach. Annie raised her head and looked at the group of children – her students now, some of them were older than her, most of them were younger. Her eyes sought out Ben's and she found him sitting in the second row. He offered her a reassuring smile and Annie smiled back before turning to address her students.

"Good morning, everyone!" She proclaimed enthusiastically. "Seeing as how you all know me, I think we can skip the introductions. You all know my name is Annie, but from now on, I will be Miss Walsh. And I know that we are going to have a simply magnificent time together." She walked around the desk and sat on top of it so that she could look down at her students and still feel a certain amount of intimacy with them. Just like Miss Granger had always done. "The truth is, I'm new at this, and I'm nervous as heck, but I'll get the hang of it soon enough. So, give me a chance, alright?" They all nodded their heads. Even a couple of small girls in the front row gave her a smile. She smiled back and reached behind her for one of her books. "Let's begin with my personal favorite. History!"

She heard a couple of the older kids groan and she smirked. Just like they'd always done with Miss Granger. Things were off to a good start. "Let's see who should start the reading..." Her eyes scanned the nineteen faces in her classroom until they fell on one in particular. Her eyes held a devious gleam as she addressed him. "Ben, if you wouldn't mind?" The murderous look he gave her nearly made her chuckle, and then he stood up and began to read aloud.

This wasn't bad. Not bad at all.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

"Oh...wow," Annie said breathlessly as her feet twirled her around in a circle. "Nothing's changed." She looked at Ben. "Everything's almost exactly as it was when I left." Slowly, she approached her teacher's desk, as if it were some ancient relic of old. Her hands trailed across its wooden edge, collecting dust as they went. "Looks like it hasn't been cleaned since I left either."

"Yes, well, after the Purge," he hesitated for just a second, making Annie wonder if he really had hesitated or if she had just imagined it, "There were no children on the Island, and those who were, were old enough to be out of school. We had no purpose for it." He peered around the room. "This place has remained untouched ever since."

Annie shook her head in disbelief as she seemed to float around the room. She looked at all of the bookshelves, the map hanging on the wall, the skeleton she had used for class demonstrations. When she looked out over the many desks, she could almost imagine her students sitting there waiting for her to teach an assignment. It was almost as if she had never left. "It's strange. I would think you lot would've transformed it into a communal, or perhaps a town hall of sorts. Why'd you just leave it?"

Ben sighed and put his hands in his pockets as he followed her around the room. "I grew up here too, Annie, and even with all of the change that I brought about, I just couldn't see this place as anything other than a school. And," he admitted with another sigh, "I know how much this place meant to you."

"It's beautiful," she said with a small smile. "I thought I'd never lay eyes on this old room again." She looked at Ben. "Thank you for bringing me here."

He shrugged. "It's the least I can do."

"Can you stop saying that?" She said almost abruptly, as if she had been expecting him to say that very thing, and he looked at her, startled. "Please."

"I'm merely saying-"

"Something that doesn't need to be said," she pressed. Her voice was growing harsh and she was trying to remain calm, but honestly, she had reached her limit for apologies. "Every time you do something for me, you don't have to say that! I'm not some charity case that you need to prove yourself to. I most certainly shouldn't make you feel sorry for me, and if you feel guilty because of what you did to me, I don't want you to just do these things because you think you can make it up to me! I don't want you to be kind out of guilt. I just want-" Annie stopped and groaned.

Ben raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What?"

Annie looked at him and frowned. "I just want you to be kind because you care."

"I do care, Annie."

"Then don't make me feel like you do everything as a way to atone for your past sins!" Her voice cracked and she turned away from him. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled."

She heard Ben walk up from behind her, but he kept his distance and refrained from touching her. "You have every right to yell. I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way."

"Honestly, Ben," she replied as she turned around, "It's been so long since someone didn't do something for me simply out of pity or guilt. Danielle was kind, but I always felt that she did it to help keep me sane for as long as possible, and nothing more. For once, I would just like someone to do something nice for me because they care. Like you used to do...before all this happened." The moment those words left her mouth she regretted them. His eyes flashed with more guilt and she mentally kicked herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"Yes, you did," he retorted, but his voice was soft. "And you're right. I feel guilty over what I did to you, Annie, and that's because I _am_. You are a walking reminder of my past, and so, when I look at you, I feel an incredible need to try and make it up to you. But...that doesn't mean I don't care. Because I do. That has never changed. And I really don't expect you to believe that; after all, I did abandon you in a jungle for the last twenty years of your life. And I know you don't trust me, and I probably will never be able to earn that trust back, but I need you to know that everything I am saying right now is the truth."

Annie sighed. "You're right, Ben. Trust is something that doesn't come easily to me now; but out of everyone here, I trust you the most. I don't know if that's because I know you, or because I can see just how sorry you are for what you did. That hardly makes it right, and that hardly makes me forgive you. But, on a daily basis, I can wake up now, and I can look at you, and talk to you, and be with you, and not constantly think about what you did to me. So, it's a start. But, I'm not gonna lie. We're both screwed up."

Ben let out a strained chuckle but didn't say anything. He just looked at Annie and watched her stare back at him. Her eyes were earnest and truthful, a reflection of what he was no doubt feeling, and when she offered him the smallest of smiles, he smiled back.

The door to the schoolroom opened, and they both turned their heads to see Sawyer standing there. "Did I just interrupt something?" He asked with a smirk and they both scowled at him. "Snuffy said he saw you two come in here. The boss wants to see you."

"And what does that make you?" Annie replied smartly. "Our escort?" Sawyer rolled his eyes and motioned for them to follow. "How's your head?" She called out to him and he grimaced.

"Just peachy."

Annie snorted with laughter and Ben hid a smile of his own.

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_** I love all of you guys so much! Please do not fail to tell me any ideas that you have for this story. I may be the writer, but you all are my motivation and my inspiration. I write this in hopes of making you happy. So, please. If you have any ideas for upcoming chapters, let me know, and I will try my best to include them!**_

_** If you haven't checked out my youtube channel yet, then please do so! The link is in my profile. I have so much fun with it. I think I definitely write better than I make videos, but I've been told my videos are enjoyable, so go and enjoy them!**_


	26. Chapter 26

_ **Here's an extra long chapter for you guys, since I'm leaving for Virginia bright and early tomorrow and won't be back for a couple weeks. I hope to update while I'm down there, so be patient. Love you guys! :)**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Ben's eyes flew wide open and he threw the covers off of his body. His ears perked up as he waited a moment and listened intently into the quiet and dark night. For a moment, he thought he had imagined the muffled sound, but then he heard it again, only this time it was louder – – a scream. He practically leaped out of the bed, walked out of his bedroom, and strode the six steps it took to get to Alex's room.

"Alex...? Is everything alright?" When there was no response, Ben switched on the light. His eyes instantly fell on the bed; more importantly, they fell on the small lump under the covers in the middle of the bed. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" No reponse. He gave a small, sleepy smile and sat on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?" He asked again.

There was a muffled response from underneath the covers, but it was indecipherable. "Why don't you come out so I can hear you?"

He watched as, very slowly, the covers were peeled back just slightly, and he found himself looking into a pair of beady brown eyes. "Are the monsters out there?"

Ben shook his head. "No, Alex. There aren't any monsters out here. You're safe to come out."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Feeling reassured, the young girl threw back the covers and crawled over to Ben so that she could snuggle into his side.

"What were you dreaming about?"  
"There were monsters under my bed," she whispered back.

He smiled gently and laid his head on top of her mop of curly brown hair. "Well, you don't have to worry about anymore monsters being under your bed. Want to know why?"

Her big eyes peered up at him. "Why?"

"Because no matter what, I will ever let anything hurt you."

Ben was rewarded by a large grin from Alex, and then she nuzzled into his side. "I love you, Daddy," the young girl said sleepily.

"I love you too, Alex," he replied, clearly touched. "Do you want me to tell you a story until you fall asleep?" She nodded against his shoulder.

He didn't need the storybook on the bookshelf in the corner. Alex's favorite had always been _The Princess and the Frog_, for as long as he could remember. He had used to read it to her when she had been a restless baby. The sound of his voice would make her fall asleep. Now, five years and countless re-tellings of the fairytale later, Ben knew it by heart.

"Once upon a time..." and before he could even finish, Ben heard the light snores of the little girl fast asleep by his side.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Ben's eyes watched Karl and Alex playing with baby Aaron. He was a good distance away from them, never moving, never making a sound. Just watching. Observing. His lips tightened as he saw Karl wrap one arm around Alex's waist. He wanted nothing more than to go over there and wrench that boy's hands from his daughter. But he knew he couldn't. And that killed him.

"Are you alright?" Annie asked from beside him, but he didn't hear her. "Ben?"

"What?" His voice sounded abrupt, like he was just being pulled out of a deep thought. He glanced over at her and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." She cocked her head and frowned at him. She knew he was lying.

Annie motioned to Alex and Karl with her eyes. "You know they'll be fine, right?"

"As her father, no I don't."

"I haven't seen Alex since she was a little baby, Ben, and perhaps that's why I can see that she's all grown up, and you can't. And Karl loves her. Anyone can see that as plain as day. He won't hurt her."

Ben's lips tightened even more. "I suppose." She snorted with laughter and he turned to her with a scowl on his face. "What?"

"Aren't you in a bad mood tonight!" She exclaimed in teasing before she answered his question. "You're worse with Karl than you were with Drew."

"You knew about that?"

"Of course I knew about that! Everyone knew that you would sooner beat him to a pulp than let him lay a finger on me."

Ben couldn't help but smile slightly at the memory. "I didn't know you were aware -" he stopped his sentence short as he saw Alex and Karl stand up and prepare to leave the bungalow for the night. "Excuse me," he quickly said to Annie before he made his way over to the two. "Alex? May I have a word with you?" His daughter stopped and turned around, eying him hard. Karl followed suit. Once again, his arm weaved around her waist. Ben gritted his teeth but chose to ignore it.

"What do you want?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw Danielle move closer so that she could listen. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. "This is a map to the Temple." He handed it to Alex and she took it. "It's a sanctuary. It may be the last safe place on the Island."

"How come we didn't know about this?" Karl asked, suddenly looking arrogant. As if _he _had the right to know, Ben scoffed inwardly.

"Well, it wouldn't be a sanctuary if I told everyone, would it? The rest of our people are already there. If you leave now, you can get there in a day and a half."

"If it's safe, why don't we all go – Hurley, Claire, the baby?"

Ben sighed. Did he have to explain everything to this boy? "Because the Temple's not for them, Karl. It's only for us. The people who are coming – they know who I am, Alex. They're here to capture me. If they knew who you were, that you were my daughter, they would use you to get to me."

"Maybe he's right," Karl finally acquiesced, forcing Ben to grimace. _Of course_ _I'm right._

Danielle piped up as well. "I agree. We should go."

Alex nodded her head and then looked squarely at him. "These people – you said they were dangerous. More dangerous than you?"

He pretended that those words didn't cut like a knife. "Yes," he responded tightly, "But your mother will protect you. Now go."

And without another word, his daughter just turned and left. Not even a hug or a goodbye. She really must not have thought very highly of him at all anymore.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

Alex was a brave young girl. Even at nine years old, she barely ever cried. Her eyebrows would furrow and her lips would quiver, but she always seemed so adamant that the tears would never leave her eyes. It was one of the things that impressed him about his little girl.

Ben's eyes trailed her face. She bit her lip when he applied more pressure to the nasty scrape on her elbow. He wrapped it up in a thin layer of gauze and then looked up at her expectantly. "Alex, I'm not going to ask you again." His voice was soft but firm. "How did you get hurt?"

"I fell," she mumbled to him.

"Off of what?"

She shrugged. "A rock."

"How did you fall?" He pressed. Ben knew his daughter inside and out, and he knew when she wasn't telling him the truth.

"I tripped, Daddy."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows. "Because that's not what your teacher told me." The young girl frowned. "Alex, I want you to tell me who pushed you off the rock."

Alex was silent for a long minute while her father just waited patiently for her to answer. Finally, she did, as he knew she would. "It was Karl."

"Karl?" Ben's lips tightened. "The same Karl who pulled your hair in class last week?" Alex nodded. "Why?"

She just shrugged. "I think he likes me."

Ben didn't like the sound of that at all, not even when she was still just a little girl. Something – something of a protective and very jealous nature – swirled around in his gut. He tried to make the feeling go away but it refused to go anywhere. Instead, he just chose to sigh. "I guess I'll have to have a talk with Karl and his parents then."

"No, don't!" She plead. "You always embarrass me when you get involved."

"Be that as it may, Alex, I am your father, and I promised I would never let anyone hurt you."

But Alex gave him the legendary pout, the pout that left all other pouts behind, the one that she knew all too well he could never resist. "Please, don't, Daddy."

And so Ben caved into his daughter and nodded his head in agreement. Then, he lifted her up off the kitchen counter and she smiled her thanks at him, and once again, everything was right in her little world.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Ben was just about to enter his bungalow when he felt someone beside him and he turned to see that it was Alex. His eyes flashed with surprise but he said nothing.

"I'm ready to talk now," she said simply and without a trace of a smile.

Ben looked at her and then he turned to Annie. The woman gave him an encouraging smile. "I'll be inside." She left him and walked away into the house, leaving father and daughter alone.

"Why don't we sit down?" Ben offered as he went and sat down on the porch. To his increasing surprise Alex sat down next to him. His heart was beating hard in his chest. He hadn't thought this moment would ever come. "Where's Karl and your mother?"

"Packing for the trip."

"Alex, I'm so glad you've finally decided to-"

"Dad, I think you misunderstood," she interrupted in a hard tone. "I meant that I would talk, and you would listen. Do you think you could do that? Just this once?"

Silently, Ben nodded, and she looked satisfied.

"Good. You lied to me. You've lied before, but you _actually _lied about my mother. You told me she had died. But she never did. You let me think my own mother was dead! Why?"

Ben licked his lips and sighed. His eyes were trained on his hands; he couldn't bear to look up at his daughter. "I stole you from your mother when you were just a few weeks old. I was ordered to kill her, but when I went to do so, I found you. No one knew your mother had had a child. She was insane, and sick, and hardly prepared to care for you. You would have died if I hadn't saved you, and so I brought you back with me." He paused and then forced himself to look at her. "I never told you the truth because I was too ashamed. I was afraid of what you would think of me if you ever found out. So I lied. And I was wrong." She pressed her lips tightly together. He begged for her to understand. "I hated lying to you, and I never ever wanted to. But I didn't want you to know that I had stolen you away and I didn't want you to know that your real mother was an insane French woman who had crashed on this Island. You didn't need to know that."

"Who were you to decide what I did and didn't need to know?!" Alex shouted at him.

Ben sighed. "I'm your father." At protests from her, he shook his head. "I may not be your father by blood, I may have stolen you away from your mother, but for the last sixteen years of your life I have raised you. I have changed every diaper, consoled every tantrum, read every fairytale under the sun, kissed every scrape and bruise you have ever had. I raised you as my own daughter, Alex. Everything I have ever done I did to protect you. Do you remember that promise I made to you a long time ago?"

"That you would never let anything hurt me," she said in a voice that wasn't so hard anymore. She looked at him and she actually seemed a bit sorry.

He nodded his head. "I know I took that promise to heart because I became overly-protective. You're right. You had every right to know who your mother really was. I'm so sorry, Alex."

She actually gave him a small smile. "My mother never really had red hair, huh?" Ben shook his head in shame. Again, another lie. "That woman in there-" Alex motioned with her head towards the door of the bungalow, "Annie – she's the one you told me about when you lied to me about my mother. Isn't she?"

He nodded again. "She took care of you after I stole you away. She was like a mother to you for the first few months. And then, she died."

"But she's still here," she said in confusion.

"Yes, but she wasn't always. I did terrible things to her as well."

"Is that why she hated you when she came back?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"She doesn't hate you now...and neither do I."

Ben looked at his daughter with shock. He wished he could say something else – anything else – but he couldn't.

Alex stood up and walked down the steps, turning around once, before leaving. "Goodbye, Dad."

"See you soon, Alex."

Then, she was gone.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

"Alex, I know you're upset with me because I won't let you go out with Karl tonight."

The girl had her arms crossed over her chest and she was frowning at him. "Yeah? What else is new?"

"When are you going to realize that I just want what's best for you?"

"And when are you going to realize that this _is _what's best for me?" She snapped.

Ben let out a deep breath and just stared at her for several long seconds. She was fifteen. She was irrational. She was hormonal. Ben expected her to be angry at him most of the time, and he tried to tell himself that it didn't hurt him to see his baby girl like this all the time. All because of a boy...couldn't Alex just go back to being a little girl again? "Come on. Get your shoes. I want to show you something."

Alex gave him a strange look, but, fortunately, she decided to obey him and do as he said.

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

The sounds emanating from the piano were melancholy, forming into a nearly perfect version of Rachmaninoff's Prelude in C# minor. Annie almost felt relaxed as she leaned against the door frame and just watched his fingers glide effortlessly across the black and white keys. When the song had nearly come to its end, she chose to break the magic and alert him to her presence. "I didn't know you could play."

Ben's head swiveled to glance at her and then he looked back down at the piano. "I learned a couple years after you had gone. Needed something to pass the time."

"Well, it was worth it," she gave him a small smile. He just stared blankly at her. "Maybe you could teach me some time?"

He nodded his head and his lips quirked into the bare makings of a smile. "Of course."

Annie frowned. He most definitely wasn't acting like himself. His mind was concentrating on something else, something far and distant. "Are you thinking about Alex?" His silence was enough of an answer. "She'll be alright. It's like you said, Danielle will protect her."

"I should be the one protecting her," he admitted, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I'm her father. But I can't, not anymore. And even if I could, Alex would never let me."

Annie frowned sadly. "She still loves you, Ben. Trust me. If she didn't, she would've been miles away from here weeks ago."

Ben looked at her, and she actually felt pity for him for the first time in more years than she could count. He looked absolutely miserable. "I don't-"

But before he could say anymore, John burst through the door, followed closely by Sawyer.

"Thanks for knocking," Ben remarked dryly, all traces of misery and sadness gone from his eyes. Annie marveled at how quickly he could change his expressions.

"What's code 14-J?" Locke asked.

Ben's eyes widened. "Where did you hear that?"

"The phone rang. I picked it up. A voice kept repeating 'code 14-J'."

Annie watched as Ben quickly leapt off of the piano bench and lifted its cover. Her heart jumped in shock when she saw him pull out a shotgun from inside. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sawyer grab his gun from his belt. But before anyone could react, Ben had cocked the weapon and tossed it to Sawyer.

"We need to get to the other house," he ordered urgently, his eyes never leaving John's. "It's easier to fortify, and we'll have better position on the tree lines." He rushed for the door, motioning for the other three to follow him.

"What are you talking about?" Annie asked in confusion.

"They're here."

Ben opened the front door and walked out, Annie following close behind. He stopped abruptly to scan the perimeter and she ran straight into his back. He turned his head to look at her. His eyes were hard and distant, but she could see the worry as plain as day. She bet that she was the only one who could actually see it. "It's a good thing I sent Alex away while I had the chance," he replied simply before he turned back around and began to walk at a fast pace to their next destination.

"You all go ahead!" Sawyer told them. "I have to get Claire." Before they could say anything in response, Sawyer had taken off in the direction of the woman's home. John made to follow but Ben stopped him.

"You need to survive this thing, John. And you're best bet of doing that is to stay with me."

John frowned. "And why is that?"

"Because these people won't risk hurting me. You want to live? I'm your best chance."As Annie followed behind him, he called back to her. "Just stay close to me. As long as we're in the house we should be fine. John and I can keep a good front."

"And me!" She called back.

"Annie, just do as I say," he commanded as they entered the home and began to move things around for better access to the windows. Ben worked on barricading the door, while John closed all of the curtains.

"These people who are coming," John ventured to ask. "You're scared of them, aren't you?"

Ben nodded his head. "That's right, John. I am."

Just then, they heard a baby crying as Hurley rounded the corner and entered the living room. He was holding Aaron in his arms. "What's going on?"

"They're coming, Hugo," John said simply.

"Well, what are you doing? How's Sawyer going to get back in?"

Ben stopped directly in front of him. "He's not." Then he walked over to Annie and looked her dead in the eyes. "Stay away from the windows. I'm not letting you get hurt again."

"To hell with that!" She shouted at him. "I spent twenty years alone in a jungle. I can probably shoot better than all three of you combined. Now where's a gun that I can use?"

Ben was silent for several seconds, just staring at her with a look of shock in his eyes. Then, finally deciding to give up the argument, he motioned towards the mantle over the fireplace. "Behind that clock."

Annie gave him a fierce smile and then turned to retrieve the gun.

_0o0 Flashback 0o0 _

"Why did you bring me here?" Alex asked Ben, her breathing irregular from the walk.

"Because you can see the entire horizon from this one spot." It was true. The ocean stretched out as far as Ben and Alex could see until it eventually seemed to melt into the sky.

"I didn't even know this place existed," Alex remarked as her eyes explored the small, hidden cove. Ben took a seat on one of the rocks and looked out at the ocean. Alex remained standing. "How did you find it?"

"I found it many years ago when I was exploring the outer boundaries of the village."

"Do you come here often?"

Ben shook his head. "In all of the years that I've known of this place, I've only been here three times, counting now. I brought someone else here once."

"Who?"

"Someone that I knew a long time ago."

Alex smirked. "It was her, right? My mother?"

Ben swallowed and nodded his head. Alex walked up to him and sat down beside him, their shoulders almost touching. "You never talk about her."

"It's too hard to talk about her."

"Because she died?" Ben nodded sadly and Alex frowned. "What did she look like?"

He sighed. "Alex..."

"Please, Dad," she snapped, but when he looked at her, he saw that her eyes were pleading desperately with him to answer. He sighed again.

Ben hated to lie to her, especially about her mother. Her real mother. But he did it anyway because her knowing the truth about Danielle Rousseau was completely out of the question. So, he lied. "She had red hair, really light red hair. Almost like an auburn color. And her eyes were this bright, sparkling green."

"She sounds really pretty," Alex said with a small, sad smile.

"She was beautiful."

"How did you two meet?"

Ben eyed his daughter and quirked his lips. "When I came to the Island, she was the first person to come up and talk to me. We were best of friends after that."

"And then you two fell in love?" Alex said with a cheeky grin.

"Yes. In fact, your mother first told me she loved me right here, exactly where you're sitting now."

The look on Alex's face made Ben's lie all the more worth it. The way her eyes lit up made his heart melt. She looked so happy to know that little piece of information – true or not.

"When did you first tell her that you loved her?"

Ben's lips tightened and he looked down at his lap. "I never told her. She died before I could."

"You always said that she died after I was born. Is that true?...or did she die when she gave birth to me?"

"No!" He exclaimed and turned to look at her. "No, don't ever think that. Your mother died a few months after you were born." It was true. Annie had gone out into the jungle and had died shortly after he had brought Alex back to the barracks with him. Granted, she still hadn't been Alex's mother, but... "Alex, raising you without your mom has been hard. I don't know how women think, much less how to raise one. But I'm trying the best that I can. I know that I can be hard on you sometimes, and that you don't think it's fair. But everything I do – every decision I make – I do it because I love you. I just need you to be patient with me, Alex. Can you do that?" He willed himself to turn his head and look at his daughter. To his great relief, she slowly nodded her head.

"I know you're trying to do your best, Daddy." She leaned forward to hug him and he wrapped his arms around the small of her back.

"I am, Alex. I really am."

_0o0 Flash to Present 0o0 _

Ben stood behind Annie as they both looked out the window. They heard multiple shots of gunfire, followed by the sounds of heavy artillery machine gun. "Do you think Sawyer will make it in time?"

Ben's lips formed a grim line but he didn't answer.

Their eyes were trained on Claire's house. They saw Sawyer dart out from behind a fence and make a break for it, but just as he was fast approaching the porch, the entire house exploded, sending Sawyer sprawling back twenty feet. Annie gasped in shock and then turned away from the window to nervously begin filling her gun with ammunition.

It was deadly silent once again, until several minutes later, when they heard the familiar sound of Sawyer's voice screaming for them to open the door. Hurley moved to do so, but quick as a flash, Ben had loaded his shotgun, cocked it, and pointed it straight at the man. "Hugo, you don't want to do that."

"Open the damn door!" Sawyer screamed.

"Ben!" Annie shouted in turn. "For God's sake, help him!" Her voice was enough of a distraction for Hurley to take up an armchair and throw it through one of the windows. They watched as Sawyer handed an unconscious Claire to Hurley before jumping in through the window himself.

"Is she alright?" John asked with concern.

Sawyer nodded his head. "She got her bell rung, but she's gonna be alright. They just started shootin'. Why?"

"Those people were murdered to make you angry, James," Ben explained in a dry tone, "So you'd be more likely to come storming in here and throw me to the wolves."

Sawyer suddenly reached out and grabbed Ben by the lapel of his shirt. "Yeah? And what's wrong with that? Sounds like a great plan. What do you say?" He turned to ask Locke, but before anyone could say anything else, the door bell rang and Sawyer released his hard grip on Ben.

"I wouldn't open that door if I were you," Ben said as he straightened the collar of his shirt.

"Shut up!" Sawyer ordered before pointing his pistol at the door and opening it just a crack to pull the newcomer inside. When he did, they all found themselves staring at Miles, his hands raised high in surrender. "Who the hell let you out?" Sawyer growled in surprise.

"The people who gave me this," Miles answered as he showed the walkie-talkie he held in his hand. "They want to talk."

Locke motioned to the walkie. "And where are they?"

Miles looked grim. "Take a look out your window."

Dread pooled in everyone's stomach as they obeyed. Ben and Annie reached the window first, and saw ten or so men standing no less than twenty feet in front of them. Miles quickly approached and handed Ben the radio. Ben held it up to his mouth. "Hello?"

"Am I speaking to Benjamin Linus?" The man in front, the leader, asked into his own radio.

Ben nodded. "That's right."

"My name is Martin Keamy. I'm an employee of Charles Widmore, and these are my terms: You're gonna step out the front door, put your hands above your head, and you're gonna walk straight to me. Once I have you in my custody, then I promise you that no one else in that house will be harmed."

He scoffed. "You and I both know that once you have me there's nothing to stop you from killing everybody else on this Island."

Keamy laughed, the sound crackling through the radio. "What kind of a man do you think I am?"

"Martin Christopher Keamy — former first sergeant, United States Marine Corps, served with distinction from 1996 to 2001, but since then, you've worked with a number of mercenary organizations, specifically in Uganda. So I know exactly what kind of man you are, Mr. Keamy, and we can dispense with the formalities."

"Okay. You got it Ben." Ben watched as Keamy whistled and then one of his men brought forth a young girl and pushed her down to her knees. Keamy grabbed the girl by her hair and lifted her so that Ben could see her face. Both Ben's and Annie's hearts leapt into their chests. That girl was none other than Alex! Their worst nightmare come true. Keamy wasted no time in pointing his gun to her head. Ben swallowed hard as Alex cried. "Get your ass out here...or your daughter dies."

Ben was silent as he thought. Annie looked up at him, not knowing what choice he would possible make, only hoping that he would make the right one. Finally, Ben answered back. "I'd like to make a counter-proposal."

"I'm listening."

"You and your friends... you turn around. Walk back to your helicopter. You fly away and forget you ever heard of this island."

Keamy gave a sickening grin. "Tell your daddy goodbye," he said to Alex as he handed her the radio.

Alex whimpered over the frequency, making Ben's insides feel sick. "Dad, they're serious. They killed Karl and my mother."

"Alex, I have this under control," he said trying to calm her down, "Everything's going to be okay."

"Daddy, please." She begged between sobs. "Please...just please..."

"You have ten seconds, Ben," Keamy said.

Ben licked his lips and tried to keep his voice calm. "Okay, just listen..."

"Nine."

"She's not my daughter."

"Eight."

Annie grabbed onto his arm hard. "What are you doing?" She whispered frantically.

"Seven."

Ben had run out of ideas, out of excuses, out of a plan. For the first time, he knew what it felt like to not know what to do next. And so, he did and said the only thing he could think of. "I stole her as a baby from an insane woman. She's a pawn, nothing more. She means nothing to me. I'm not coming out of this house. So if you want to kill her, go ahead and do it-"

To his horror, he heard a gunshot and then he saw the body of his daughter slump to the ground in death. He wanted to scream, to curse, to threaten, but he could do nothing as his entire body turned numb. He couldn't move. He couldn't hear Annie scream or feel her bury her face in his shoulder.

Ben couldn't believe it no matter how much he repeated it into his head. Alex was dead. His daughter was dead. Gone. He couldn't save her. He couldn't protect her. She was dead. Gone. Dead. And he could do nothing but stand there and look on in horror.

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_** Did I really just do that? REALLY?! Who else is crying? I totally am! And I totally cried more when I read this while listening to "Rue's Farewell" from the Hunger Games...**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**'Ello, everyone! How are ya'll doing? I have to admit that after the last chapter I thought that perhaps I would have some angry fangirls find me in Virginia and give me a piece of their minds. Thank you for abstaining from the temptation! I am so sorry for breaking all your hearts, but it just had to be done.**_

_** Also, I realize that the last couple of chapters have pretty much just followed the canon of the show that and I've been using a lot of dialogue from the actual episodes. This is just because we're fast approaching the season 4 finale, and some scenes from the show I have to incorporate into this story so that everything makes sense. Come the chapter after the next, I should be back to writing my own original chapters again :D**_

_** Finally, I just wanted to let you all know that from here on out, the flashback sequences that I have been placing in each chapter are no more. Sorry, I know how you all enjoyed them. But I'll be doing something different in season 5 (can't tell you, or I'd give away some big plot bunnies), and in season 6 I'll have a surprise for you (wanna know what it is? It'll be a flash of some kind, just ain't telling you what. Although, you all are pretty smart so you should be able to figure it out pretty easily.)**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

He wanted to scream, to curse, to threaten, but he could do nothing as his entire body turned numb. He couldn't move. He couldn't hear Annie scream or feel her bury her face in his shoulder.

Ben couldn't believe it no matter how much he repeated it in his head. Alex was dead. His daughter was dead. Gone. He couldn't save her. He couldn't protect her. She was dead. Gone. Dead. And he could do nothing but stand there and look on in horror.

Only a part of his mind could faintly realize that Sawyer and Locke were arguing. But all words were lost on him. _"They just left her body there and disappeared into the jungle." "They won't be gone long. It'll be dark in twenty minutes, and then they'll be back for him." "Then let's just hand him over." "I don't think these people have any intention of letting us walk out of here, James, no matter what we do." "Well, I ain't got no intention of dying." _Everything sounded hazy and vacant to his ears. The blood was pounding in his head as he continued to stare out the window at the still body of his daughter in horror.

"Ben?" He heard a voice in his ear and he shook his head. "Ben, look at me." He recognized the voice as Annie's and she was shaking his arm. Hard. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

His voice was hollow as he spoke. "He changed the rules."

"Who did? What rules?" Annie pushed him softly for answers, but he refused to give any. He wasn't in the right frame of mind. His thoughts were distracted. Every time he blinked he saw Alex being gunned down before his eyes, and that was an image he could never ever erase from his memory.

A hand held his chin tightly and he felt his neck being involuntarily turned until he was looking straight into Annie's eyes. He could see his own grief reflected in those green orbs. But she was also pleading with him to come back. They were still in danger, and he was the only one that could help them. Ben's lips tightened and he nodded his head, managing to just barely push back the image of Alex's tear-stained face. He turned to look at Sawyer just as the man began to shout.

"You know I'm right! Our best chance is to toss him out and fend for ourselves."

Locke and Sawyer were momentarily distracted, caught in an argument. Before Annie knew what was happening, Ben had grabbed her hand tight and had bolted forward towards a bookshelf, tugging her along with him.

Sawyer turned his head. "Hey! Where you goin'?" He chased after them, but it was too late. Ben had pulled aside the bookshelf and had vanished inside. Sawyer nearly grabbed Annie just as Ben pulled her inside and triggered a switch.

Sawyer could do nothing but yell after them as a steel security door came down over the opening. "Open this damn door!" He pounded hard on the door. "Open the door!"

_0o0 _

"Ben, what are you doing?" Annie called out to him as he released her hand and made his way across the small secret room.

"The only thing I can," he responded simply as he pulled aside a rack of clothes and removed a fake wall to reveal what looked like a stone portal with ancient markings across it. Annie's eyes widened when Ben dropped down to his knees and began to crawl into the hole.

She followed after him, only to discover that they were now crawling through a tight tunnel. "How many secret places do you have in this house?" She called out to him.

"This would be it."

"Where does this lead?"

Ben stopped on his knees for a moment and just turned his head slightly so that he could see her in the corner of his eye. "I'm taking you somewhere where I can halt this madness and get us to safety. It should buy us enough time."

"What should?"

He didn't answer though. The tunnel opened into a tiny room and in the center of that room was a puddle of water. Annie crawled to crouch beside Ben and she watched as his hand went down and disappeared into the murky water. His lips slid into a frown and he grunted with effort. Finally, Annie watched as his arm twisted and she heard the sound of something unlatching. The water began to drain from the puddle and then she heard a piercing scream.

"Come on," Ben ordered, "We have to get back up there before it comes."

_0o0 _

The secret door slid open to reveal Ben and Annie. They were covered in dirt, grime, and cobwebs from head to toe. Without a second thought, Ben pushed past Sawyer with an 'excuse me' and walked over to the couch to retrieve the abandoned walkie-talkie. He pocketed it as Sawyer began to bombard him with questions.

Impatiently, he interrupted the man. "Okay, listen to me very carefully: I need all of you to do exactly as I say. In a minute, we have to run from this house as fast as we can. At that moment, when I give the order, I want you to head straight for the tree line."

"You mean towards the guys with guns?" Hurley asked increduously.

"Oh no. We want to stay as far away from them as possible."

Just then, the house began to shake with the force of an earthquake. Several of the windows began to crack and split. The knick-knacks on the mantlepiece began to quiver and shake and crash onto the floor. Ben ordered everyone out, quickly stopping to grab Annie's hand and pull her outside. He heard her gasp as she stared in shock at the sight before her. The black smoke was no more than twenty feet away, angry and fierce, arching against the back-drop of the night sky. It was chattering and roaring. Then, suddenly, it disappeared, and the distant shouts of men could be heard.

"What did you do?!" Locke called out. He had to practically scream to be heard against the loudness of the smoke and the wildly blowing wind.

Ben felt Annie grip his hand harder. "You summoned that thing?" She could only assume that's what he had done in that secret room. He gave a quick jerk of his head and then released her hand.

He addressed them all, "Head to the trees. I'll catch up with you."

That was enough of an order for Sawyer. He shouted at Claire, Hurley, and Miles to run into the jungle. "Go, go, go!"

"Where are you going?" John asked Ben.

"I have to say goodbye to my daughter, John." He reached out his hand and John placed a small hangun into his waiting palm before walking away.

Ben turned to Annie. "Go with John. I'll be right behind you."

"Ben-"

"Go now, Annie!" He commanded her. She was silent for a moment before she nodded her head and took off after John.

Ben watched her go and then turned to where his dead daughter was still laying in the grass. He let out a deep breath as the sobs began to come. He approached his daughter and knelt down beside her, and Ben said goodbye to her as he laid a chaste kiss to her bloodied forehead.

_0o0 _

"Someone's out there," Miles said as his ears perked up to listen. Sawyer and Annie drew their guns, cocked them, and pointed them in the direction of the approaching footfalls. Locke and Hurley just watched and Claire tried to shush a crying Aaron.

Annie breathed an audible sigh of relief when the stranger appeared from the underbrush. It was none other than Ben. She could see the redness in his eyes more than anything else. She knew how hard he must have been mourning Alex. He looked terrible. He lacked the usual confidence. His shoulders sagged just slightly as he entered the small circle and sat down.

"I'm sorry about your daughter," John offered and his voice actually sounded sympathetic.

"Thank you, John."

"That being said, you lied to me. You told me you didn't know what the smoke monster was."

Ben shrugged, from indifference or exhaustion, no one could tell. It was probably a bit of both. "You can ask Jacob all about it when we go to the cabin."

"We're still going there?" Annie asked, but before Ben could answer, Sawyer had spoken up.

"Hang on. Jacob? Who the hell is Jacob?"

"He's the man who's gonna tell us what to do next, James," Ben replied in a dry tone.

Sawyer threw his hands up into the air and stood up, his eyes rolling the entire time. "You all are crazy. You know what? I'm done with all this. I never should have followed you wackos in the first place. I'm goin' back to the beach, and Claire and the kid is comin' with me. That alright with you?" He turned to Claire. Just then, Aaron began to cry again and she nodded in agreement. They needed to get back to the beach, to safety – if there even was such a thing anymore.

"I'm coming with you," Miles interjected and Sawyer nodded.

"Let's go. Hurley, you too."

Hurley made to move, but then, the sound of a gun being cocked rang throughout the jungle, and Sawyer and Hurley turned around to see a gun pointing at them. "Hugo stays with us," John ordered.

"Not a chance."

"Wait," Hurley shook his head, "Leave me out of this."

"I'm sorry, Hugo, but we need you to find the cabin."

Hurley raised his hands. "Stop! Put down the guns! I'll stay with Locke."

"Hugo -" Sawyer began but the man shook his head.

"It's okay, Sawyer."

The man seemed ready to protest, ready to raise his gun, and to fight Locke and his army of two, but he chose against it and lowered his gun. "You so much as hurt a hair on his curly little head, and I'll kill you," he threatened to Locke.

"Fair enough."

Sawyer bared his teeth as he turned to lead the way. "Come on. Let's go."

The moment they were gone, Locke turned to Ben. "What do you propose?"

"We set up camp here. Wait until morning."

John nodded in agreement. "Good enough."

"What? Here? With the monster and...him?" Hurley asked as he looked at Ben.

John just shrugged. "The rest will do us good."

"I could sleep for months," Hurley agreed.

"I'll take the watch," Ben offered as he rested his gun in his lap and laid back against the trunk of a tree. "I doubt I could sleep even if I tried."

No one said anything – not even Annie – as the camp went quiet and they all recieved much needed sleep – all except Ben.

_0o0 _

Annie's sleep was restless, so much so that she doubted she had really gotten any good sleep. Her thoughts were plagued by the events of the day previous. Every time she closed her eyes she could see the gun that killed Alex. She could see the blood of her people running like a river through the jungle. But most horrifyingly disconcerting was the hollowness of Ben's eyes. After his daughter had died, something in him had seemed to snap. Something important, she just didn't know what. It was as if the one thing that had tethered him to the earth had been Alex, and now that she was gone, he was floating aimlessly about. Annie tried to convince herself that it was only the grief and the sorrow that had made him so, but she couldn't help but be afraid. Afraid of what he might become without his daughter by his side.

Her eyes flitted open and she rolled onto her back. The hardness of the ground didn't bother her, it was just like how it had been for the last twenty years. It was more of a comfort than anything and she found herself once again relishing the earthy tones of the jungle – the dirt, the rain, the fresh air.

Annie listened intently. The night was quiet, the dark uttered no noise, and through the blackness she tried to see. Her eyes slowly began to adjust and she could make out the sleeping forms of Locke and Hurley. Her eyes scanned all around for Ben but she couldn't see him in the dark. Her heart leaped into her chest as she inwardly began to panic. As quiet as a mouse, she stood on her feet and began to walk over to the tree where she had last seen him. He had been wide awake, keeping a look out for any approaching enemies. She felt around, but he was not there.

She was just about to wake up John and Hurley when she heard a faint sound from about ten feet away from where she stood. It had sounded like a muffled whimper, and the first thing she thought was that Ben was in trouble. She pulled out her gun to face the direction of the sound. Her feet were silent as she approached whomever was out in the dark, whether he be friend or foe. But then she lowered her gun when she saw the shadowy outline of only one figure and she knew that it was Ben sitting on the jungle floor. He emitted another muffled sob and her heart ached with pity for him. She debated turning around and trying to go back to sleep; after all, it was obvious that Ben hadn't wanted anyone to hear him. But to Annie that option was simply out of the question. She couldn't just leave him there to suffer alone.

So as not to startle him, her footfalls became a bit heavier and she whispered his name to let him know of her presence. Then, Annie took a seat beside him and was silent. Whether he actually knew she was there or not, she didn't know. He remained silent, a small sob escaping his lips every couple of minutes. Annie didn't know what to do, twenty years in the jungle had hardly taught her how to comfort those in pain. So, she did the only thing she could think of. She laid her head on his shoulder. He flinched at the contact but did not move.

"I'm so very sorry, Ben," she whispered at long last to him.

"Alex is dead," came his mournful response, "I didn't think – I hadn't meant-"

"You were trying to save her."

He shook his head, and she sat up again so that she could look at him as best she could through the dark. "I didn't know what else to do. I panicked. I thought that if I told Keamy I didn't care about her that he would release her."

"I know that."

"But, instead, the last words my daughter ever heard were that I didn't love her. She died thinking that she was no more than a pawn to me. Unimportant. Worthless."

Annie frowned as her heart clenched in pain. "You did the only thing that you could."

"Not the only thing. I could've done what they wanted. I could've gone out that door and given myself up."

"Then we all would be dead, including Alex. You saved us, Ben."

He scoffed weakly. "At the expense of my own daughter. How ironic." Annie didn't know how to respond and so she remained silent. "You know, when she was a little girl, I made her a promise that nothing would ever hurt her. As she grew up, I protected her from bullies at school, broken bones, anything and everything that could've harmed her. But you want to know what?" He licked his lips. "I never thought I'd have to protect her from myself, and in the end, I hurt her more than anything else ever could. I broke my promise to her." Ben sniffled and then proceeded to wipe at his eyes. "I'm sorry." She could only assume that he was apologizing for his grief. The thought made her inwardly sick and she grabbed his hand, urging him to look at her.

"It's okay to cry, Ben. You lost your daughter."

"Don't you mean killed her?" He responded bitterly and looked down.

She shook her head. "You can't blame yourself, Ben. You tried to save her. Alex's death _wasn't _your fault."

Ben gave a curt nod of his head, but she could tell that he was just doing so to appease her. Deep inside, he blamed himself, and he would always blame himself for her murder. Her lips fell into a grim line.

"This means Danielle is dead as well," she stated simply. Her only friend and solace of the last two decades was dead and gone, laying somewhere in the jungle, alone and unburied.

"I'm sorry, Annie. I know how much she meant to you. Danielle and I may have been enemies, torn apart by love for our daughter, but she took care of you when I couldn't. I'll always remember her for that."

Annie nodded her head and smiled a watery smile. "Thank you. I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for her."

It was Ben's turn to hold her hand and she felt comforted at the small gesture. She turned so that she could face him and then she wrapped an arm around his neck and held him tightly against her. He gave into the comfort and security and they melted into each other's arms, both crying silent tears for the ones they had lost, and both sorry for the pain that the other had to endure. Because hadn't they already experienced enough pain in their lives? Apparently, fate didn't think so.

_0o0 _

"Hey you two," John said as he stood over them, "We best be moving before the sun gets too high up in the sky." Ben and Annie both startled from sleep to find that they had laid down on the ground sometime in the middle of the night and had held each other for most of the night. Embarassement would have been their first reaction, but neither could find it in themselves to care what John and Hurley thought.

Ben was the first to stand up as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. "Where do you propose we go? Or do you know where the cabin is?"

"I know where we can go to find answers to where the cabin is."

Ben furrowed his brows as he leant Annie his hand and helped her up off the ground. "And where's that?"

"The Purge pit," came John's simple reply.

Ben looked confused, but he nodded his head all the same. He placed his gun in the back of his pants and watched as Annie did the same thing. "And how do you know this?"

"A dream I had last night."

"I used to have dreams," Ben said in a somewhat wistful tone. When had been the last time he had had a dream about...anything?

Annie shook her head. "Trust me. You're not missing out on much."

Ben gave her a weak smile and then turned back to John. "And what do you expect to find at the pit?"

"Blueprints to the cabin."

"Why would they be in the pit?"

"Because one of the men in the Dharma Initiative built the cabin." Then, John turned and began to walk away. Hurley followed close behind him, while Ben and Annie walked a little ways back, both just desiring quiet and solitude in their thoughts. Ben cursed his thoughts. He knew he should be focused and he was nowhere near focused on the task at hand: keeping everyone alive. This was what it felt like to be floating aimlessly about with no seen purpose anymore. He felt Annie grab at his hand and entwine her fingers with his. He didn't question the gesture or the meaning behind it. At that moment, it was comfort, comfort that he sorely needed, and so did she.

Rather than talking, the two just thought and half-listened to the conversation between John and Hurley.

"Can I ask you something?" Hurley said.

"Sure," John responded.

"Why am I here, man?"

John let out a deep breath as he kept walking, cutting down any vines in sight with his knife. "You're here because you can see the cabin, and that makes you special."

"Well, I have a theory as to why we're the only ones who can see it."

"Why is that?"

Hurley shrugged. "I think we can see it because we're the craziest. You, me, Ben. I don't know about the red chick. She does seem kinda crazy though."

"I heard that!" Annie called out, clearly offended, before she dropped her voice to whisper to Ben. "Perhaps he's right though. Out of everyone I've met in this team of survivors, Locke and Hurley _do_ seem to be the craziest. And you and I are-"

Ben stopped and looked at her. "Are what?"

"Just crazy," she admitted and he nodded his head in agreement.

"I'll admit it's a good theory," they heard John say. Well, it seemed like they were all insane then.

_0o0 _

Hurley, Ben, and Annie stood at the very edge of the pit and peered down to watch John rummaging through the bodies. Hurley seemed horrified by the sight, Annie was quiet, Ben was indifferent. After all, the pit was the past, history. It held no meaning for him anymore.

"So..." Hurley began somewhat awkwardly. "This is where you shot Locke and left him for dead, huh?" It was such a simple statement, posed in a completely non-accusatory tone.

Ben gave a simple nod of his head. "Yes, Hugo, I was standing right where you are now when I pulled the trigger."

Ben and Annie watched as Hugo looked down at the spot where he was standing and then took a step back.

"Was that right before I found you?" Annie finally spoke. Ben nodded his head again.

"I should've realized at the time that shooting him was pointless, but...I wasn't really thinking clearly."

"Is that why you killed all of these people too?" Hurley asked curiously.

Ben frowned. "I didn't kill them, Hugo." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Annie wanted nothing more than to protest, but for some unknown reason she remained silent and let Hurley speak.

"Well – if the Others didn't wipe out the Dharma Initiative..."

"Oh, they did wipe them out," Ben explained, "But it wasn't my decision."

Hurly furrowed his brows in confusion. "Then whose was it?"

"Their leader's."

"I thought you were the leader..."

Ben shook his head as he peered back down into the pit. "I wasn't always. John...will you be much longer?"

Locke looked up at the man, clearly annoyed. "If you want to speed up the process, then you all are more than welcome to come down here and help me dig through these corpses."

Ben's lips tightened into a thin line but he was unable to utter a retort as Annie chose that moment to intercede by grabbing his hand. "Come on," she urged, "I know where there's a small stream nearby. Let's go get all of this dirt off of us." It was true. They were still covered in the dirt and grime from the secret tunnel underneath Ben's bungalow. Ben was silent, just staring at her, before he finally gave a nod of his head and allowed her to lead him away.

_0o0 _

The water ran cool and clear across their dirty, grimy, weather-beaten skin. Ben scrubbed all of the filth from his hands, simply staring as the trailing water left his knuckles clean and pink once again. His expression was empty, his movements slow. He was deep in thought, and Annie knew it.

She cupped her hands and gathered up enough water to splash across her face and down her sweaty neck. The water was refreshing to the touch. It forced her muscles to relax for just a second. By the time she had finished cleaning herself up, Ben was nowhere near finished. He seemed to be moving as slowly as possible, so as to delay having to go back for as long as he could. Her lips smiled weakly in his direction before she crawled over to and crouched in front of him.

"Here," she offered, "Let me." Taking his hands in hers she meticulously worked to rid his skin of the grime. She cleansed the spaces underneath his fingernails until no more dirt was lodged beneath them. All the while, he just stared at her blankly. She wondered what he was thinking about – or even if he was thinking at all.

When she brought her dripping hand up and began to dump cupfuls of water over his head so that it ran down the front of his face, he seemed to stir just slightly, as if finally awoken. His eyes blinked rapidly to avoid the heavy droplets of water as she carefully moved her fingers across the skin of his face, across his cheeks, his chin, under his eyes, his forehead. Her nails worked their way into his scalp, massaging all of the sweat from his hair. He closed his eyes at the sensation of her touch and she couldn't help but smile at how peaceful he looked when he closed his eyes and just gave in to her. When he finally did open his eyes, he saw Annie smiling back at him and his lips quirked upwards just slightly.

"What?"

But she just shook her head. "Nothing." And then she was back to wiping his skin with her cool, wet fingertips, and his eyes closed yet again.

"There," she said when she was finally finished. He opened his eyes and nodded his head.

"Thank you, Annie."

All clean, their morale somewhat renewed, feeling as refreshed and awake as could be expected, they walked back to the pit.

_0o0 _

Ben and Annie arrived back at the pit just as Hurley was helping Locke climb out of it. With a grunt, Locke was out of the hole and standing upright. A piece of paper was clenched tightly in his hand. Ben shifted his gaze from John's face to the blueprints.

"You found them?" He asked though the answer was obvious.

Locke nodded and held them triumphantly. "Sure did. Turns out the man building the cabin went by the name of Horace."

"Horace?" Annie echoed, somewhat surprise. She hadn't heard his name in so very long.

"Yeah. Did you know him?" Annie and Ben both nodded before Ben remarked somewhat dryly:

"Knowing who he was would've helped, John. We could've been halfway to the cabin by now."

John raised an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

"Because Horace happens to be the one person who I know exactly where he is buried."

"Well, it's unfortunate then that we didn't know his name sonner," John agreed simply before he unfolded the blueprints and went to work reading them. "But we have what we were looking for now, and that's all that matters."

Ben nodded. "Where to then?"

Locked looked down at the paper and then pointed north. "That way."

_0o0 _

It was dark in the jungle, they were being led by a single torch held by John. Nothing moved or made a sound in the dark.

Hurley let out a deep, exhausted breath. "Dude, not that I don't mind walking five hundred miles through a jungle at night, but, like, are we almost there?"

"I don't know," came Locke's less-than-reassuring response.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Because, Hugo, I know the _general direction_ of where the cabin is. These blueprints aren't a treasure map with a big X marking the spot." Hurley just responded with a huff and continued walking.

Ben strode up close behind John. "What if the cabin's moved again?" He asked in a quiet voice so that Hurley would not hear.

"Because I was told that it would be where the blueprints lead," Locke replied, ever a man of faith.

"I was told a lot of things too. That I was chosen, that I was special. I ended up with a tumor on my spine and my daughter's blood all over my hands."

Locke stopped short and looked at Ben. "I'm very sorry that those things happened to you, Ben." He was dead serious and Ben just looked at him.

"Those things had to happen to me, John. It was my destiny. But sooner or later you're going to learn that there are consequences to being chosen." He paused, looking from Annie to John, and then finally keeping his eyes fixated on Locke's. "Because destiny, John, is a fickle bitch."

It seemed that neither Locke nor Annie knew how to respond to that, and so they just chose to remain silent.

Hurley was the one who spoke next. "Uh...guys?"

John turned away from Ben. "What is it, Hugo?"

"Cabin," he replied and pointed.

Sure enough, the cabin lay only a few feet away. They had finally found it.

"Alright then," Locke sounded relieved as he took the backpack off of his shoulder and dropped it to the ground. "Let's go."

"I'm not going in there with you, John," Ben shook his head.

Locke furrowed his brows. "What? Why not?"

Ben's lips tightened. "I have no need. The Island is done with me. It's your turn now."

"Fine. Hugo?"

"Um...I think I'll just stay out here too. I don't see any reason to enter the creepy cabin in the dark either."

John nodded. "You do what you like. Annie?"

She seemed the most uncertain of all of them. She eyed the cabin curiously, then looked at John and then at Ben. "I'll stay. There's nothing for me in there anyway."

"Suit yourself. I'll try not to be too long."

The three watched in complete silence as John handed Ben the torch and then walked up to the cabin door. Only once he had disappeared did they turn to look at each other.

"Now what?" Hurley asked.

"Now we wait," Ben replied as he sat down on a log with Annie to his left. Hurley nodded his head and took a seat next to her.

"What do you think Locke's doing in there?"

Ben replied in a tight voice, "How would I know?"

Hurley just shrugged. "I don't know. You just always seem to know everything, dude."

"Well, not anymore, I'm afraid, Hugo."

Silence descended upon them, and it was tense and uncomfortable. Hurley squirmed, cleared his throat, and then turned his head to look at Annie. "So, what's your story anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you aren't a survivor and you're not an Other, so, like, where'd you come from?"

"Oh. I was a part of the Dharma Initiative before they were all killed."

Hurley frowned. "So those people back there in the pit – you knew them all?"

Annie nodded her head. "Yep. A long time ago."

"So, then -" he stopped short.

"What?"

He hesitated. "If, um, Ben killed all of them, then why are you two-" he hesitated again. "What are you two?"

Annie looked at Ben. "We used to be in the Initiative together. Ben was my best friend growing up."

"Oh. So you don't hate him for what he did?"

She shook her head. "Not anymore. I guess once your friends with someone, they're always your friend."

Hurley chuckled sheepishly just then. "I guess I was wrong then."

"About what?" Annie and Ben both looked at him curiously.

"I, um, thought you two were, like, you know...together."

"Oh," Annie said, sounding somewhat startled. She shot a glance at Ben. If he was shocked he was hiding it well behind a neutral expression. "Yeah. I guess you were wrong."

Everyone was silent yet again until Hurley shifted to pull something out of his short's pocket. He broke the object in half and handed one of the pieces to Annie. She took it in her hands and couldn't resist the smile that spread across her entire face. "It's an Apollo bar," she said. "Thanks, Hurley." She took a bite and closed her eyes at the taste of the delectable chocolate. "I haven't had one of these things in ages."

Hurley grinned and then handed the other half to Ben. "Here."

"Oh, I couldn't, Hugo."

"Go ahead, dude. You look like you could use it more than me."

With a nod of appreciation, Ben accepted it and took a bite of the very familiar candy. He looked at Annie and saw that she was smiling. He couldn't resist offering a small grin in return. Just like old times, almost forgotten.

_0o0 _

They waited a few more minutes before they heard the creak of the cabin door and watched as Locke stepped outside and began walking towards them. He had a thoughtful expression on his face, and Ben was the first one to stand up.

"Did he tell you what we're supposed to do?"

John nodded his head. "He did."

"Well?" Ben asked somewhat impatiently.

"He wants us to move the Island."

_**0o0o0o0o0o **_

_** The beginning of the – somewhat – end...wow! We're about halfway through this story now, and I hope you all continue to enjoy it! Things are going to get rocky for Ben and Annie from here on out, but I ain't telling you how ;)**_

_** Also, I recently posted a trailer to my Youtube channel for a story I plan on writing in the fall of this year. It's a LokixOC story, so if you're interested, please check out that trailer! The link is in my profile.**_


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:You know the drill. Nothing whatsoever is mine, except for a plot twist, and the enigma that is adult Annie. Which is, once again, not all mine, because someone did create her long before I even knew what LOST was.**

** Enjoy the chapter my lovely friends! Sorry for my long absence, I'll try really hard not to do it again. I don't wanna lose any of my precious guests or regular reviewers!**

**0o0o0o0o0o**

"There it is," Ben remarked as he pointed a finger at the building that sat no less than twenty feet away.

"What is that?" Locke frowned.

"_That _is the Orchid Station. The building itself is of no importance, but underneath is everything that we need to move the Island."

Locke nodded his head and took a step forward. "Alright then. Let's go and get this done and over with." He was just about to step out from behind the brush and into the open when he felt Annie's hand grab at him urgently. He turned around to look at her curiously. Annie nodded in the direction of the Orchid.

"Look. They're already here."

John, Ben, and Hurley turned their attention to where she was looking. Sure enough they saw two soldiers dressed in fatigues emerge from the jungle.

The four of them managed to crouch down in the underbrush before any of the troops saw them. Ben's hand landed on Annie's. He felt her stiffen beside him. Ben turned his head and met her eyes for a few seconds before he quickly removed his hand and focused all of his attention on Keamy.

"So what do we do now?" Hugo whispered.

Before Ben could answer, Locke interrupted. "I see two of them, but not the one who killed Alex."

"He's there," Ben replied tightly, "Hold onto that for me, will you?" He was speaking to Annie and he handed her his gun. She stared at him in confusion.

"What? Why?"

He chose to ignore her though and turned his attention back to John. "Listen to me very carefully, John, because I'm not gonna have time to repeat this. You're gonna go into that greenhouse through that hole there. Once inside, you're gonna turn left. Go about 20 paces until you see a patch of anthuriums on your left. They're in an alcove against the north wall. Face the wall, reach down with your left hand. You'll find a switch that activates the elevator. The elevator takes you down to the actual Orchid station."

"What on earth are you talking about, Ben?" Annie furrowed her brows.

Locke nodded his head. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Ben. But maybe I missed the part where you explained what I'm supposed to do with the armed men inside."

"I'm going to take care of them."

"And how the hell are you gonna do that?"

Ben rolled his eyes and then spoke in a hard tone. "How many times do I have to tell you, John? I always have a plan." So strong was his conviction that John and Hurley could say nothing about, but Annie refused to listen.

Just as he was about to emerge from the brush, she grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I already told you."

"But why?" He was silent and she groaned. "Look, Ben. If you think rushing out there and getting yourself killed is some way of wiping Alex's blood off your hands then you're wrong! We need you, all of us. We don't know what to do without you."

He shook his head, refusing to listen. "I told John what he needs to do. We all have our jobs on this Island, Annie, and this is mine."

"At whose command?" She demanded to know.

He was quiet for a moment before he chose to respond. "My own. Now stay here." Before she could do or say anything else, he had wrenched his arm from her tight hold and had taken a step out into the open.

Annie watched as he fearlessly walked into the den of lions. The two men standing guard cocked their rifles at him, and she watched as Keamy appeared, smirking smugly as if he owned the entire world. Her blood boiled within her. She watched as Ben stepped right up to Keamy with his hands raised in surrender.

"My name is Benjamin Linus," she heard him declare, "I believe you're looking for me."

She watched in horror as Keamy wasted no time in pointing his gun at Ben's head. And then, quick as lightning, he has raised the butt of the gun and had slammed it down on Ben's temple. She watched as he went limp and fell to the ground.

Annie would've rushed out right then and there if John hadn't grabbed her by the arms and forced her to stay right where she was.

0o0

"But, John-"

"Look, Annie. I understand why you would want to go after him, but right now, _this _needs our full attention."

Annie wasn't about to give up that easily. After seeing Keamy bind Ben's wrists and lead him away from the Station and into the jungle, she had been able to think of nothing else but going and rescuing him. Keamy was marching Ben straight to his death! She didn't know how she could possibly know that, but deep down, she knew that once Ben was delivered over to Charles, there was only so much information he could provide before Widmore found him useless. Ben's time was ticking away, passing her by, and she was supposed to stay here and _try _to find some strange plant with a strange name that she couldn't remember, let alone pronounce?

John must have sensed how tense she had become and he momentarily stopped his search for the plant that Ben had told them to look for. "Ben let himself be captured so that we could have time to find the entrance into the Station before those troops got back here. Right now, the best way you can help all of us, including him, is to obey his orders and help me find this plant."

"Never took you for the kind who'd readily obey Benjamin Linus' orders," Annie scoffed.

"Well, normally, I wouldn't. But if this is going to save hundreds of lives, then so be it." He looked at her for a second longer before he turned his attention back onto the ground. Those merciless weeds had to be around here somewhere!

"JOHN!" A voice shouted from behind them and they both whirled around. Annie's eyebrows slanted. One glance at John and the way his jaw tightened instantly, and she knew he too wasn't too pleased to see Jack standing in front of them, hands on his hips, eyes blazing angrily, either.

"Hello, Jack," John said simply, nodding his head once in greeting. "What brings you here?"

Jack scoffed. "I could ask the same of you. What are you doing?"

"There's a Dharma statio below us, and, um, I'm looking for a way to get in."

"Get in and do what?"  
Before he would say anything else, John turned to look behind Jack. Hugo was standing there, and so was Sawyer. "Hugo, James, would you mind if I spoke to Jack alone?" They both turned around to walk away, but Jack spoke and stopped them in their steps.

"Don't bother. We just came back for Hurely. Let's go." He turned to leave and Sawyer followed. Hurley, however, looked as if he didn't know exactly what to do.

"Jack," Locke called out after them, "You need to hear what I have to say-"

Jack spun around on his heel and marched back, his voice was angry and forceful. "What I need to do is to walk back to the chopper, get on it, and get the rest of our people off this island."

"Uh, dude," Hurley cut in, "Probably not the best idea right now. Those Rambo guys are taking Ben to that helicopter. He surrendered himself to 'em about an hour ago."

Jack suddenly looked confused. It broke through his cold demeanor, and his eyebrows rose. "Now why the hell would he do that?"

John sighed. "I think we'd best catch you up."

"I think you'd best."

"Annie," John turned to her, "Do you mind standing over there with James and Hugo?"

The woman huffed her disagreement but obeyed all the same.

Sawyer was the first to speak when she walked up to them. "How you holdin' up, Red?" When she looked at him she saw the strangest thing – actual, real, _genuine _concern in his eyes.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, from what I've been hearin'...Ben's...uh...gone."

"Yeah. So?" Her voice was so hostile, Sawyer immediately backed off and let the subject drop.

Hurley squirmed in the awkward silence before turning to Sawyer. "So how's Claire and the baby?" Sawyer fell silent again, and this time Hurley squirmed out of concern. "What happened, dude? Is she...ya know..."

"No," Sawyer answered abruptly. He glanced at Annie and her eyebrows rose. He looked back at Hugo and then down at the ground. "Well, I sure hope she ain't."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"  
"It means I don't know where she is, alright?" Sawyer snapped and then groaned. "She disappeared in the middle of the night and we haven't been able to find her."

"Sawyer..." Was all Hurley could say. He looked shocked, dazed.

Annie didn't know what to say. It wasn't _really_ her place to say anything at all. And when she looked over at Sawyer, she saw that he too was struggling with words.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

Annie almost didn't believe it when her heart leaped into her throat. Could it really be...? There was only one voice like that in the whole world, and she thought for a second that she had imagined it all. But when she saw Sawyer and Hurley turn their heads towards the newcomer, she did too.

"Ain't you supposed to be riding a helicopter?" Sawyer slanted his eyebrows.

Before Ben could say anything, he was taken aback by the feeling of something – or rather, someone – colliding with him, and then arms were being wrapped around his neck, and a chin was being buried into his shoulder. His eyes were wide with shock. Never had Annie been so abrupt before, but he smirked all the same. "Did you think I'd be back?" He asked.

She pulled back, flushed by her somewhat brazen act. "I _hoped_ you'd be back," she quietly admitted. His eyes went soft for just a moment, before she raised a hand and slapped him hard on the cheek. He looked at her with shock once again. Her eyebrows slanted angrily. "What the hell did you think you were doing? Leaving like that?"

"Feel better?" He remarked in a dry tone.

"What?"

"Feel better now that you hit me?"

Annie nodded a curt nod. "Yes, thank you." Her tone was sharp and clipped.

"Good. Now where's John? Has he found the way in yet?"

"I don't think so. He's talking with Jack right now."

His lips thinned into a straight like. "Wonderful," came his sarcastic reply. "Come on then." And she followed him over to where John and Jack stood. They looked like they were arguing. Some things just never changed.

"Hello, Jack," Ben said. They watched as Jack whirled around, raised his gun, and cocked it, all in one fluid motion. Ben smirked. "Nice to see you too." Before Jack could say anything, he walked past both of the men and knelt down to the ground. "Couldn't find the anthuriums, could you, John?"  
Locke shrugged. "I don't know what they look like."

Ben picked up a small potted plant, reached under it, and activated a switch. They all heard the click-clacking of metal, and a door creaked open, exposing a secret elevator.

"Jack," Ben stopped for a second to look at the man. "Sayid and Kate are waiting for you at the helicopter. I understand that your people from the beach are being brought to the freighter even as we speak."

"What?"

Ben frowned. "I'd love to fill you in on everything you missed Jack, but you, Hugo, and James, you need to get moving. If I were you, I'd want to be on that boat within the hour. Goodbye, Jack." Jack pursed his lips, looking like he was ready to argue. But then he just shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk away. Ben nodded his head, satisfied. Then, he stood up and walked towards Annie. "You're going to go with them too."

"What?!" She protested with a shout.

"Look, Annie. What John and I are about to do is extremely dangerous. You need to get as far away from here as possible. You need to get on that helicopter and get off this Island. It's the only way I can be sure that you're safe."

Annie shook her head though. "I can't, Ben. This Island is all I've ever known. I can't just leave it!"

"Annie, listen to me-"

"NO. You listen to me!" She interrupted him and was about to say more when he reached out and grabbed both of her cheeks so that she was looking straight into his eyes.

He shook his head. "No more arguing with me. I haven't always done what is best for you in the past, but this time I am doing everything in my power to keep you safe. After I move this Island, there's no telling what will happen. You could get separated from anyone else who stays on this Island, you might travel to places you've never imagined. You could die. Your best shot, Annie, is to get on that helicopter and never return."

"Hold on. You said _you _were going to move the Island. Isn't John supposed to do that?"

"It doesn't matter who does it. What matters is that it happens. John still has a lot of important work to do. If he moves this Island, he will never be able to do it."

"Why?" But he was silent and he refused to look at her. "Why, Ben?" She added, her voice forceful, demanding an answer.

He looked at her and she could see the pain in his eyes. The decision he was making was tearing him apart. "Because whoever moves this Island can never be permitted to come back."

"What?! Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Because I knew you would react as you are right now."

Annie shook her head. "You can't leave. I am not leaving this Island without you, Benjamin Linus. So if you expect me to leave you behind, then you'd better forget it."

"Why do you have to make things so difficult!" He cried.

"Because I-" She stopped short. How on earth was she supposed to finish that sentence? What was she supposed to say to convince him to stay? More importantly, _why _did she want him to stay? "Look-" she licked her lips, "I can't lose you. I did once, and I can't do it again. I loved you a long time ago, remember that?" He nodded his head. "And I'm not saying I still do, in fact, I don't really know how I feel about you at the moment. All I know is that I feel something, and if that something is anything close to what I think it could eventually become, I'm not letting you leave me alone again."

"Annie..." By the look in his eyes, she could tell that he didn't really know what to say next. His hands were still on her cheeks. His touch had softened just slightly.

She shook her head. "You tell me that you don't feel the same way, not even a little bit, and you can go down that elevator and I'll never see you again."

Ben thought of telling a lie; after all, he had lied so often to get out of situations as pressing as this. But he couldn't lie to her. Annie had always been able to read him so well, and looking into her eyes now, he knew that she could see him so clearly, more clearly than he could ever see himself. He groaned at the inward struggle and at the pressing of time. They_ needed _to move the Island_ now._ "Fine," he gave in with a sigh, "John was the one commanded to move the Island, and he will be the one to follow that command."

Annie was so pleased that she grinned and threw her arms around him, whispering a thank you into his ear.

"But I expect you to go along with Jack and the others. I'll catch up."

She drew away and shook her head. "No, I'm going to wait right here."

"Alright," he nodded and gave her a small, sad smile, "I'll be back soon." And with that, he had turned to John, who had watched the entire altercation in silence, nodded his head, and the two men entered the old elevator.

Without so much as another word, Ben allowed the doors to the elevator to close, and then the mechanism began to move downwards.

"How deep is the station?" John asked at long last.

"Deep," was all Ben said. His mind was still on Annie, and on the lie he had barely managed to tell.

0o0

Blood splattered Benjamin's hands as he dropped the knife and it clattered to the ground. He looked down at the lifeless body of Martin Keamy. The last person he had expected to follow them down to the Station was dead. He had just succeeded in killing the murderer of his daughter. The adrenaline surged through his entire body. He looked up at John only to see the man looking at him in disapproval.

"How could you just kill him like that?"

Ben stood up and wiped the blood onto his pant legs. "Once you have a daughter, John, you'll understand."

"I don't think so."

"It doesn't matter. He's dead and there's nothing to do about it." Ben had reached into a closet and retrieved a jacket while he was talking. It was a thick and heavy overcoat that he shrugged his arms into. John gave him a strange look. Ben just ignored him. He had far too much on his mind as it was.

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Because it's cold where I'm going."

"And where's that?" Ben silently looked up at John and then John understood. "You told her you wouldn't. You told her that I would move the Island. This is my responsibility and I'm ready to take it on."

Ben shook his head. "Jacob told you what to do, but he didn't tell you _how_ because he wants me to suffer the consequences."

"What consequences?"

"Just as I told Annie, whoever moves the Island can never come back. So I'd like you to get on the elevator, John, and go back up. Richard and my people will be waiting 2 miles east of the Orchid."

John furrowed his brows in confusion. "Waiting for me? What do you mean they're waiting for me?"

"Ready, willing, and able to share what they know. And then they will follow your every word. Take Annie with you. Promise me you'll look after her. And goodbye, John. I'm sorry I made your life so miserable." He held out his hand for John to shake, but the man refused to accept the gesture.

"I can't let you do this."

"And why is that, John?" Ben sighed in exasperation. Did no one realize just how tight of a schedule they were on?

John pointed upward towards the ceiling. "Because up there is a woman who is waiting for you. She waited for you once before when you abandoned her, don't make her wait again. It would kill her."

"She'll move on, she always does. That's the thing about Annie. She's strong."

"She loves you, Ben!" John shouted. "I don't care what either of you say. She loves you! And don't deny that you love her too. Because I know you do. Anyone can see it...you never lost your feelings for her, did you?"

Ben was silent as he looked down at the ground. "It doesn't matter," he said in a quiet voice.

John scoffed. "I think it does."

Ben's head looked up sharply, and his beady eyes stared holes into John. "She'll be better off without me."

"That's a lie and you know it. Twenty years _without _you drove her to the brink of madness. Twenty days back here with you has made her happy again. She smiles, she laughs. She does all of the things that she used to do. The things that made you fall in love with her. And I don't care what you say. You need to go back up there and live your life with her."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I need to be punished!" Ben snapped. His eyes glowed with a fierce red. His pupils were dilated. His breathing was erratic. "You all don't get it do you? I let my daughter die. I _killed _my daughter."

John frowned. "And you think leaving this place will wipe away your sins?"

Ben nodded. "One can only hope."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Well, it doesn't really matter what you think, John. Leaving my home is my punishment. Jacob has ordained it. And Jacob has ordained that you are the new leader. You must stay here and lead these people. They are _your_ people now."

John sighed. "There's nothing I can do to change your mind?" Ben shook his head. "Fine. But don't you think Annie should hear all of this from you?"

"We don't really have much time." Ben remarked wryly.

"Isn't telling her the whole truth worth all the time in the world?"

Ben was silent for a second, deep in thought, before he gave a quick nod of his head. "Alright. Where's a piece of paper and a pen?"

0o0

Annie waited for what seemed like hours upon hours, stretched endlessly, one right after the other. In reality, when she looked up at the sun, she saw that only an hour had passed. And nothing had changed. The sky hadn't turned black, the trees hadn't turned to ash. The sun remained bright and glowing. Had moving the Island been a success?

The door to the greenhouse opened and her thoughts were broken. She stood up and rushed forward, desperately wanting to make sure that Ben was alright. But she stopped short when she realized that it wasn't Ben. John Locke was standing there. He had a grim expression on his face, but his feet were moving urgently.

"Come on, Annie. We have to go." He grabbed her arm to pull her along, but she ripped away from him.

"Where's Ben? Is he hurt?"

"No."

"Then where-" she stopped abruptly when she saw the truth of the situation in Locke's eyes. "He didn't."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. But he wouldn't let me do it. He said my work is here. I really tried to convince him to let me go, but Ben's nothing if he's not stubborn."

Annie didn't know why, but tears were welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill over. She hadn't cried in years, she'd grown too tough to cry. Why should these damn tears start now? She wiped her eyes and focused on looking straight ahead, not at John's face.

"I promised that I would protect you," he said, "You can stay with me."  
"I don't need protection," she rebuffed him.

"Nevertheless, Ben made me promise to look after you. At least to accompany you until you figure out what to do next."

She frowned. "I'm not leaving this Island."

"I figured that. I'm not leaving either. And I could use someone else who's handy with a gun." Annie was silent. All she could think about was Ben. And then something was being thrust into her hands. It was a folded piece of paper. She eyed it curiously. "Ben wrote that for you just before he left." She didn't have the heart to open it. Her fingers just trailed across it, knowing that he had touched the same piece of paper only minutes before. John broke through her thoughts again. "Don't be angry at him for lying. In his own twisted way, he's trying to protect you."

She shook her head. "I'm not angry. You'd think I would be, but I can't find it in myself to be. I'm just...sorry."

John hated to have to intercede with her thoughts, but he had no choice. Ben would be moving the Island any second now. "We have to go." He pulled gently on her elbow, and she obeyed, allowing him to lead her.

She just stared dumbly at that unread letter.


	29. Chapter 29

_ **Guess what! This girl is officially graduated and on her way to college in a couple months. Oh my goodness. Can it really be true? I'm still reeling from it all. Just. Wow. Anyways, in case you are wondering, that is why I haven't updated this story in almost a month (sorry). **_

_** I really wanted the chapter to be super duper extra long to make it up to you, and it's a pretty decent size, but not as long as I had wanted. But I had a hard time with this one. I hope you all like it!**_

_** I also want to thank my newest reviewer, kenrobi. Thanks for your support! It means the world!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o**_

_ ANNIE, _

_ John told me that I shouldn't leave without telling you the whole truth, and I'm not sure if I can do that. The whole truth would take up more paper than I have at my disposal, and more ink than what is in my pen. And, besides, what is truth anyway? Truth is relative, and I think that the whole truth would cause you more pain than good. Call me a coward if you want. I know I am. But I can't help it._

_ Perhaps that's why I'm really doing this. Maybe it's only partially because I believe it will bring justice for Alex's death. Maybe the real reason is because I'm too much of a coward to stay on the Island. Maybe I'm running away from you. _

_ I've never been one for confessions, Annie, and I doubt I could do any better now. I never planned on telling you any of this, of what I was really thinking when I looked at you, or what I was really feeling when you touched me. Up until an hour ago, I didn't even know myself. You make me regret all of my past decisions. I wonder what life would've been like if I hadn't joined Richard and if I hadn't abandoned you in the jungle – not just for you, or for me, but for us. I wonder if things would've been different. I wonder if I would have asked you to marry me. If we would've raised Alex together. If we might have had other children. I wonder if we would have left the Island together. I wonder if we would have ever been happy. _

_ It's far too late for any of that now. And now, we're separated again, and I think that this time it will be permanent. Although, that's what I thought the last time, and fate had a different plan. I don't know. What I do know is that I can't tell you what I'm feeling. I know I never told you before, but I can't bring myself to divulge my most personal thoughts in a letter. You deserve so much better than that, and, to be quite honest, you deserve so much better than me. I hope that you can be happy, and know that I am eternally sorry for being the coward that I am._

_ I will never forget you._

_ BEN_

How many times Annie had read that letter since John had given it to her, she didn't know. She had lost count. The edges of the paper were already beginning to wrinkle and tear from her fingers constantly holding them, and now she had to take extra precautions when handling the letter. She held it as if it were as sacred as the Christian cross.

In the morning, just as the sun was beginning to rise in the sky, she would take out the letter and she would read it. She would most often read over it for a second time, and then John and the others would start to stir, and she would quietly fold up the piece of paper and slip it back into her pants' pocket. And at night, once the embers in the fire had begun to grow dusky and dim, and the camp had become quiet once again, she would take the letter out and she would read it over and over until the embers of the fire had died away to nothing.

By now, she had Ben's letter completely memorized, but she still insisted on reading the words for herself. Though she could recite it within the recesses of her own mind, she found immeasurable comfort in reading the words that he himself had penned. A piece of Ben would forever be branded into that letter, into the ink that he had used to write, as best he could, the innermost thoughts and feelings of his heart.

A part of her wanted to believe that he loved her, that he didn't simply like her, or admire her, but that he actually _loved _her. Love was a strong word, a lifetime of commitment, but the idea of Ben feeling something so powerful for her filled her eyes with forbidden tears. Those tears were almost as forbidden as her desire to admit – even to herself – that she loved him in return. Annie refused to admit something so dangerous, so life-altering, so devastating a realization, because Ben wasn't here, and if she loved him, then what good could ever come out of that? But deep down, she knew that her feelings for him now were the same feelings that she had felt for him when she had been young and impressionable and naïve.

Whether she wanted to admit it or not, that was the absolute, inescapable truth. And she doubted she could hide from the truth for forever.

_0o0_

"John, I don't think I can stay here," Annie said one late morning while John and her were out in the jungle hunting for boar. He stopped and turned towards her. He looked at her but didn't say anything. "It's not that I'm not grateful to you and Richard for allowing me to stay with you, but things are so different now...and I don't think that I can handle staying."

He nodded his head, but still remained silent. Annie furrowed her brows in confusion as she watched him turn back around and pick up the trail once again.

"What?" She whispered after him. "You don't have anything to say about that? I'd think that you of all people would have some kind of convincing wisdom to keep me here."

"Why keep you here, Annie, when you clearly don't want to stay?"

She stopped short and just stared after him. When he realized that she had stopped following him, he turned around and looked at her with a curious expression on his face. "It's not that I don't want to stay," she tried her best to explain, but she found that it was impossible. "I'm just better off on my own."

"I doubt that. The last time you were all by yourself, you almost went insane, remember?"

Annie nodded. "I probably would have if I hadn't found Ben. He's the one that dragged me in with you lot. Otherwise, I would've just stayed out in this jungle by myself. And, I guess, that's just it." She shrugged. "I stayed with all of you because of Ben. My objective was to kill him, and even after I discovered that I didn't want to kill him, I still stayed because I didn't want to get separated from him. I'm not a people person anymore, and now that he's gone and never coming back, there is no need for me to stay here with you. I'll probably end up killing one of you in my sleep if I do."

He chuckled softly. "I have more faith in you that that, and so should you."

"I don't trust myself. Twenty years alone in a jungle can do stuff to you, John. I'm unstable."

"You were getting better, Annie."

"Yeah. Before he left me here alone."

John sighed and nodded his head. "Alright. But you should know that Ben made me promise to keep you safe. I can't do that if you leave. I have to stay here. I don't want you to make me a lying man."

"Ben knew that you wouldn't be able to protect me forever. I'm sure he would understand. And besides...it's not like he'll ever know."

There was silence, absolute and complete silence. And in the midst of that silence, Annie found herself asking the most childish and foolish question that she had ever asked. "Do you think he'll ever come back?"

"You heard him. Whoever moves the Island is banished for good." Annie frowned and John placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "But then again, Ben's always been smart. Maybe he'll finally figure out what it was he left behind on this island, and maybe he'll come back for it."

"And what exactly did he leave behind, John?" She knew the answer but she just needed to hear him say it.

He smiled. "You."

_0o0_

_The heat of the Tunisian night made him sweat as he lay on his mat and looked up at the ceiling. He could hear noises coming from the street down below. His hands reached up to hold his ears in order to quiet the sounds, only to realize that his mind was even louder. He squinted his eyes shut and turned on his side. Would he ever sleep again?_

_ Every time he closed his eyes he either saw his daughter being gunned down or Annie's hope-filled eyes as he told her that he would come back out of the Orchid Station. The lie made him feel dirty. It burned his skin, and no matter what he did, he couldn't erase that feeling. He tried not to imagine what her reaction must have been like when John had been the one, and not him, to emerge from the elevator shaft. He tried not to think about what if he had broken her heart, or what if he had made her so enraged at him that she had finally gone over the edge of insanity._

_ These sleepless nights were beginning to add up. Ben wondered if he would ever be able to sleep again, and if he did, would his sleep be empty, or would they be filled with thoughts of her? He had known leaving her would hurt, but he had never imagined that it would hurt this much. It felt like his whole heart had been shredded up. The guilt weighed down upon his darkened soul. His mood was foul and depressed. Without her he was just...alone._

_ Deciding that he had had enough of his brooding thoughts, Ben reached out his hand into the dark and blindly fumbled around for his phone. When he finally picked it up, he dialed a number and pressed the receiver to his ear. The phone clicked on the other end, but there was silence._

_ "This is Benjamin Linus," he spoke, "I'm looking for someone."_

_ "How can I help you, Mr. Linus?" The voice from the other end of the line replied._

_ "You can start by gathering all the information you can on Sayid Jaraah. I want to know where he is and what he's doing. I'll call you back in two days. You can report to me then."_

_ Without an answer, the phone clicked, and Ben was once again left in the silence of his own thoughts, in the stifling heat of Tunisia._

_0o0_

"Annie, are you sure you want to do this?" Richard asked her as he and John watched her filling up a pack. "Those flashes are still happening, and I don't think anyone should be going they're separate ways right now. We need to stay together."

She didn't even look at him as she spoke. She was too focused on packing everything that she figured she would need. "I don't care, Richard, and I don't expect you to understand. But I need to go. It's not safe to have me around you anymore. I literally feel like I'm just going to explode." Her canteen was the last thing to go in. She threw the pack over her shoulder and stood up. Her hand went to her pants' pocket and she felt for Ben's note. It was still there. The feeling of it comforted her.

"We're not afraid of you, Annie. We can help you if you would just let us."

"Thank you, but I'm better off on my own." She nodded at him once and then pushed past his shoulder. She didn't so much as give a final glance at any of the others as they watched her leave. John followed after her.

"That's it?" He said. "You're just going to leave without saying goodbye?"

Annie stopped and turned around to face him. She gave a slight smile and held out her hand. "Goodbye, John. I may not have trusted you in the beginning, but I can see now that you want what's best for the Island, just like Ben did. You'll make a good leader."

"Promise me you'll be careful," he replied with a solemn expression. "Like Richard said, those strange flashes are still happening, and we don't know what they are, except that they move us from one part of the Island to another. You need to watch your step."

"I promise. I'm not afraid of being alone."

John shrugged. "I think that's a lie, but I'm still not going to stop you."

"I appreciate it, John." Then, she turned to walk away from him.

He called out after her and she stopped once again. "Why don't you find a way off of this Island? Find Benjamin? You two could be happy together."

She chuckled bitterly. "I think we're way past that, John. The Island has succeeded in separating us twice now. I don't think it's meant to be. And besides, this Island is my home. It's all I've ever known. I can't leave my home."

"In my opinion, home is where the people you love are."

Annie shook her head. "Who said anything about love?" Her voice was neutral. John frowned at her. And that time, she did turn and walk into the jungle. Annie was alone once again.

_0o0_

Within minutes of walking, Annie could hear the distant ringing in her ears and the sound grew louder and louder. She pressed the palms of her hands to her ears but it didn't help. White light began to surround her. She shut her eyes tight to keep from going blind. The ground beneath her shook and began to spin. She was reminded of a dream she had once had, when she had been staying in Ben's bungalow. Something similar to these flashes had happened in those dreams. A voice had told her to stay with Ben, but that was impossible now.

Annie fell to her knees under the pain of it all. She pressed her face to the ground and willed everything to stop.

She screamed Ben's name.

Just as she had in her dream.

_0o0_

When the ringing finally stopped, Annie braved opening her eyes. She was in the same spot that she had been before the flashing white lights began, but she could tell that things were different. The trees weren't as large or as full as they had been minutes before. The air even felt foreign. Somehow she had traveled in time, backwards by the look of it. The thought nearly scared her out of her skin and she broke into a cold sweat right then and there.

It was only after she felt a terrible pain in both of her hands that she realized she had dug her fingernails so deep in the dirt that her knuckles had turned an ugly shade of purple. She removed her hands from the earth, ignoring the hideous amounts of dirt that still clung underneath her fingernails. She stood up. She took her rifle off of her shoulder and into her hands. She felt unsafe. She felt exposed and out in the open. She felt the tiny hairs on her neck stick upright. She felt her heart beat so fast that it seemed like it would give way right in her chest. Annie felt more afraid than she had in a long time. She had no idea where she was, or rather, _when _she was.

She knew that John and Richard wouldn't be where she had left them. They had probably moved too. But her legs carried her in that direction anyway. She didn't know where else to go, or what else to do. What if one of those flashes happened again soon? She needed to get her bearings before that happened.

A scream pierced through the silence and made Annie's heart leap into her throat. The sound kept coming closer and closer, followed by gasps for breath and groans and more screaming, until finally a woman emerged from behind the trees and right before Annie. The woman didn't seem to care. She kept her face focused on the earth but she pleaded at Annie to help her.

And that's when Annie saw it, blood running down the back of the woman's legs, and her hands resting on her very large, very firm stomach.

"Help me, please," the woman said in a ragged voice. The voice sounded familiar, but Annie couldn't quite place it.

"I can't," Annie croaked. Her heart was still lodged in her throat. She felt sickening fear in her stomach. She couldn't help this woman give birth.

"Please," the woman begged and then she threw her head back and Annie gasped loudly. It was Danielle, young and innocent and heavily pregnant with Alex. Alex. Danielle. Annie couldn't stand by and do nothing. Not when she knew who these two were.

Without saying a word, she helped Danielle to spread her legs and then she did the best that she could do. She had no clue what she was doing, she had never seen a birth before. But Alex was safely born, and Annie was the one to catch her and she was the first one to hold her. The tears came unbidden to her eyes as she looked down at the beautiful baby girl.

"Oh my God," she whispered as she stared down at what seemed to be a ghost. Then, as if the spell was broken, she quickly handed the child to Danielle and watched as mother and daughter lay there, still and silent, in the long grass of the jungle floor.

Without thinking, Annie jumped to her feet and ran. She didn't think about how she was abandoning a newborn child and her mother, she didn't think about anything. She just ran and ran, the tears blinding her, until all of the green and browns around her melted into something confusing. And then, the next flash hit.

_0o0_

Annie opened her eyes with a squeal of pain. She thought that there would be bruises from having squeezed her eyelids so tight. She had lost her pack when she had taken it off to help Danielle give birth to baby Alex. She was still reeling from that entire experience.

Through the darkness of night, Annie wouldn't have been able to tell where she was if it hadn't been for the tree standing in front of her that she knew all too well. It was still about twenty feet away from her, but it was the greatest tree in the entire jungle. How could she forget it? It was the tree that Ben had abandoned her at.

She had sworn never to go back there, and so she stood up and brushed herself up. She felt the butt of her rifle digging into her shoulder and she was thankful that at least that hadn't been lost. Annie spared one last glance at the tree before turning around and walking away.

"Who's there?!" She heard a voice shout into the night and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up all over again. With bated breath she turned around and slowly began to creep back towards the tree. Her mind was telling her not to go and not to see what she already knew was there, but her legs still continued to move. She crouched down in the underbrush just as a young girl with red hair came into view. She swallowed back a gasp. It was _her_. The very first night she had had to stay in this jungle.

She wasn't prepared for the tears that trailed down her cheeks as she watched and relived the heart-wrenching moment of her very own fear and despair. She watched herself huddle against the tree for safety. The girl's eyes peered into the darkness. Annie could nearly recite the next words from memory. They were still ingrained in her mind, never to be forgotten.

"Ben, are you there?" She heard herself say in the most pitiful voice. "Ben, please. Please, Ben. Please..." A sob tore from her throat at the same time that it tore from Annie's. Annie forced herself to look away from the painful sight, and as she did, her eyes caught the strangest thing. She saw another pair of eyes peering out of the underbrush, almost directly across from her. The person couldn't have been more than five feet away from her. Her first instinct was fear. Had someone really been watching her that night? But then, as her eyes adjusted, she could see the figure more clearly, and when she finally knew who it was, she wanted to scream.

BEN. He had been watching over her that night. He had come to see her, but he had not revealed himself to her. He had been there.

Annie felt numb as she watched him wipe at his eyes and then turn around as silently as he could. She still couldn't believe that he had come back to see her one last time. He had been there that night. She wanted nothing more than to call out to him. Or to tell her younger self that he was there and that she could go back with him. But she knew she couldn't. She couldn't change the past, because the past had made her who she was.

_0o0_

No flashes happened for the next three days, and Annie spent her time helping her younger self to survive. Suddenly so many things that hadn't made sense in her youth, made sense now. Why she had been able to find fresh water. Because her older self had made the signs so much more evident. Why food had also been easy to collect. Because her older self had practically led her to it. Annie concentrated on helping her younger self as much as she possibly could.

But when younger Annie decided that it was time to leave the tree and to venture out on her own, older Annie knew that she couldn't follow her. The longer she stayed around, the greater a chance there was that her younger self would discover her. Annie didn't know much about time travel, but she had learned about paradoxes when her and Ben had used to sit on the couch and binge-watch old episodes of Doctor Who. She knew that, at the very least, if her and her younger self crossed paths, that the Island would probably implode. And maybe the universe too. It was better to be safe than sorry.

Annie said a silent goodbye to her younger self and then she quietly crept towards the great tree. She had watched the previous night without any expression as young Annie had, in her anger, buried the doll that she had made so long ago. And now she had nothing but the clothes on her back and the rifle over her shoulder. Besides, she may never get this chance again.

So, Annie dug that doll up and she held it in her hands. She had never thought that she would ever see it again, and now here it was, and it brought immeasurable comfort to her. She held the doll close to her heart. Now Ben would never have to be away from her. So long as she kept the doll nearby, he would never ever leave her again.


	30. Chapter 30

** Hey, everyone! So sorry if I got your hopes up thinking that this was a new chapter...it's not. And I deeply apologize. I'm just writing this little note to let you all know that I won't be updating this story for a little while. I'm hoping I'll only be gone for a month or so, but I really need to do this. I'm taking a hiatus from this story so that I can finish my other story "Try To Remember". I only have ten more chapters in TTR, so once I'm done with that, I'll be able to put all of my concentration into this story. So, hang tight. Be patient. And I hope to be updating sooner than you know!**


	31. Chapter 31

**LADIES AND GENTS. I. AM. BACK. FINALLY. I'VE MISSED THIS STORY MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. I. AM. BACK!**

**Now that I've finished 'Try To Remember', I'm not starting any other projects until I finish this story. I haven't figured out how many chapters are left, that's something that I'll start trying to figure out, but it's safe to say that since we're only in the fifth season, we've got a while to go ;)**

**I hope all of you return! And I hope there will be new readers as well. PLEASE. Leave reviews. They are the best kind of motivation there is. Seriously. Reviews are my validation.**

**0o0o0o0o0o**

Hours turned into _days_. Days turned into _weeks_. Weeks turned into _months_. 222 days, to be exact. Seven and a half months. Annie knew this because every single day, at the crack of dawn, the very minute after her eyes opened and she woke up, she took her small hunting knife and she made a notch in the trunk of the tree that had become her home in the last 222 days, seven and a half months, of her solitude. It was the last piece of sanity she had left, to mark that single notch in the tree at the start of every morning. It had become an almost sacred ritual to her.

Annie could feel her mind slipping farther and farther away, out of her reach. With each new day, she could feel it more acutely, and it scared the hell out of her. She didn't want to go back there. Back to where she had been when she had been forced to live in the jungle for twenty years of her life. It frightened her.

When Annie had left John to go out on her own, she hadn't known if she would be okay or not. She had hoped her mind would stay intact, but she hadn't known for sure what would happen. The hellish time traveling had driven Annie closer and closer to the brink. She had barely had time to get settled in one place, in one _time, _before the blinding white light would come flashing and her head would start buzzing, and she would open her eyes and be somewhere completely different.

The time traveling had stopped weeks ago, _thank God_. But Annie was far from okay. The last person she had seen was Richard, but he had had a beard and long hair and his eyes had been so much younger. He hadn't known who she was, and Annie had run. Then, there had been one more flash, and suddenly, the flashes had stopped. Since then, Annie hadn't seen any sign of any other human being living on the Island. She felt alone. And hell, did it burn her from the inside out.

No human contact, plus no stability, plus an already damaged person was sure to equal insanity, and Annie knew it. She'd denied it for so long, but one afternoon, when she woke up, her head lying on the dead carcass of a wild boar she had skewered with her spear, and her entire body covered in the animal's blood, Annie knew that the insanity was coming fast. No _normal _person did that. No _sane_ person did that.

She missed Ben. God, did she miss him. She missed him so much that she couldn't be angry with him for abandoning her yet again. She couldn't be angry that, because of him, she was slipping back into her state of madness. When he had been at her side, she had been fine. She had even started to heal. Now, he was gone. Did he even care? Had he ever cared? Annie knew he had, but still, the doubts swam constantly around in her hurting head. Doubts that all swam around one very important fact, one which she had become increasingly sure of as the months passed her by: Ben wasn't coming back. He couldn't come back for her. He was banned from the Island. Annie would never see him again.

Annie couldn't stand it anymore. These constant thoughts. Constant memories. Mostly painful, mostly terrible, mostly frightening. In her dreams, everyone mocked her. During the day, she lived in constant silence. Who would ever want to live like this? Not again, Annie swore. She wouldn't live like this again.

She grabbed the gun laying at her side and twirled it around in her hands. There was only one thing left to do, and Annie had made up her mind. She had decided very early on that she would leave one bullet remaining. She had used every single other bullet to kill her prey, and after that, she had taken to using her hunting knife and make-shift spears. She had vowed that one bullet would always remain, in case it was ever necessary. _Necessary_. That bullet was for her. Annie unlocked the safety and held the barrel of the gun up to her temple, her finger was unsteady on the trigger. She felt the tears in her eyes, felt the insanity in her head. It was a constant drumming, and it never ever stopped. She had to be rid of it.

Annie fought back a sob and gulped it down. One word pushed past the drumming and swelled in her mind. "Ben," she choked as a sob finally tore past her lips. "I'm sorry." Her hand reached inside her pocket and pulled out the note that he had written for her all those months ago. Her eyes read it, but her mind couldn't comprehend. It didn't matter, though. She had every word of that precious letter memorized. She clenched it tight in her hand and held it to her chest. Her eyes closed. Her finger went to pull the trigger.

"What are you doing?" Annie heard a voice call out in the blackness. It was a calming voice, it soothed her. Annie thought she had imagined it, but then it came again. "Please, don't do it." Annie felt an itching in the back of her mind. She _knew _that voice. It was so very familiar, but so very foreign at the same time.

Annie's eyes cautiously opened and she looked around. Finally, her eyes rested on a small figure standing behind a tree, his head was the only thing peeking out. Annie gasped and the gun fell from her hand and onto the jungle floor. "Ben?" She squeaked. "Is that you?"

"How do you know my name?" The boy asked, his face going pale.

Annie couldn't believe her eyes. Was he really there? It had been so long since she had seen Ben like this. To her, he looked exactly as he had when he had stepped off of that boat and onto the platform in Dharmaville. He was so young and so _innocent_. She could see the fear in his eyes, and she remembered that he had asked her a question. "Because..." for a moment she thought about telling him everything, for a split second, but even through her insanity-clouded mind, she knew that that was a terrible idea. "It doesn't matter," she said instead.

Ben's eyes fell on the gun at her side and she quickly kicked it out of her reach. "I'm not going to hurt you," she said in as soft a voice as she could muster. "Why don't you come over here?"

But he shook his head. "You could be one of them."

"One of who?"

"A hostile."

Annie shook her head. "I'm not a hostile. I promise."

"Then who are you?" Ben asked. Annie watched as he took a single step from out behind the tree. She could see the red striped shirt he was wearing and his pair of jeans. "What are you doing out here?"

"I live out here."

"Why?"

Annie offered him a sad smile and watched victoriously as he took a few more steps towards her. "I left my home and I couldn't get back inside. So I'm trapped out here."

"Did you used to live in Dharmaville?" Ben asked with curiosity.

She slowly nodded her head. "Yes." Ben smiled warmly at her.

"I'm from Dharmaville too," he announced and took the final few steps towards her and sat down across from her. "I know the code to get back inside the fence. I could take you back there, if you wanted."

Annie's eyes widened. She could go home. She could go back to Dharmaville. But she shook her head. "I can't. I haven't lived there in a long time. They wouldn't let me back in."

"Of course they would! Horace just allowed these new people to come in and live with us. You're no different."

"New people?" She asked.

"Yeah. They said they got stranded here and can't get off the Island."

"What do they look like?"

Ben tried to think. "One's a man with long blonde hair and he has a funny accent. Then, there's this woman. Her name is Juliet. And-"

Annie didn't hear anything else. Sawyer and Juliet had made it to Dharmaville. She could find them and – find them and do what, exactly?

"What year is it, Ben?" She interrupted him.

He looked at her strangely, and she didn't blame him. To him, she should most certainly know the date. But only God knew where that whole time traveling thingy had left her!

"1974. Why?"

"Just wondering," Annie lied. Of course, she had guessed it would be somewhere around there, considering how young Ben looked. But, she was still freaking out inwardly. **1973**. It was freaking 1973.

"You remind me of someone," Ben changed the subject.

Annie turned her attention back on him. "Who?"

"Her name is Annie. You have the same color hair. She's a friend."

She couldn't help but smile at the memories of her younger self and Ben. "We redheads make the best of friends," she said with a wink and Ben grinned at her.

"What's your name?"

She hesitated. She couldn't give him her real name, could she? Instead, Annie said the first name that popped into her head. "Alex. I'm Alex."

"It's nice to meet you, Alex," Ben said. "If you want I could take you home now."

Annie found herself unable to say no to the young boy who she loved with all of her heart, so she didn't. Instead, she said yes, and she let him lead her back home. She was going back home. And it was 1973.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

_"It is done," the heavily accented voice came through the phone that was pressed against Ben's ear. _

_ "Very good, Sayid. I'm impressed."_

_ There was a pause, and then the Iraqi spoke again. "Do you have a new assignment for me?"_

_ "Not as of right now, Sayid. Go home. Rest. I have someone else keeping an eye on our next hit. I will contact you in a month."_

_ The phone clicked without so much as a response and Ben pocketed it. He turned his head towards the cork board to his right. Taking a red marker in his hand, he put a giant 'X' through the picture of the man Sayid had just taken care of. In just seven months' time, Sayid had managed to take out about a third of the men on Ben's list. His eyes swept over the rest of the pictures of the faces pinned to the board. There were still so many to go, but Sayid was a diligent employee. Ben was certain that everything would go according to his plan. It might take a year or two more, but soon enough, all of those pictures would bear a giant, red 'X'. The feeling was almost satisfying. Almost._

_ Ben let out a sigh. He was tired, he couldn't lie. Two fingers pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ward off the headache that he knew was coming. An image of the Island flashed in his mind, and he groaned. He missed it so much, more than he had ever known was possible. He wanted nothing more than to get back and smell its special, unique air, and roam its beautiful landscape again, and see the lovely red-headed woman who had once again wormed her way into his heart. Perhaps she had never left it to begin with, but now it was even more painful than when he had abandoned her to die, because this was the second time that he had left her alone, this was the second time he had lied to her, he would never see her again, and it was torture to know that she was alive and he still couldn't see her. He couldn't even know how she was doing. He desperately wanted to know that she was safe and sound and that John was protecting her, just as he had promised. Aside from Ben's revenge agenda, that was the only thing he cared about. That, and getting back to her. But that was impossible, wasn't?_

_ His thoughts had left him fully depressed, and he let out a frustrated groan as he ran his fingers through his hair. This was hell. It was hell not being around her, but it was even worse knowing that there was absolutely no way of contacting her. No calling, no letters, nothing. They were both permanently separated. It just wasn't fair! But life wasn't ever fair, was it?_

_ There was nothing to be done, and Ben needed to calm down. He crossed over to his desk, sat down, and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He couldn't send it to her, but a letter would help to clear his thoughts. He sighed and then set the pen to paper. _

_ Dear Annie..._

**0o0o0o0o0o**

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**Hope you enjoyed this chappie! Look for the next update coming within the week!**


	32. Chapter 32

_ Dear Annie,_

_ If you were here right now, I don't know exactly what you would think of me. You wouldn't be proud of me; at the very least, I know that. In the last two years, I feel like I've reverted back to my old self. The self that I was before you came back into my life. You brought change into my life, and for some unknown reason, you were able to look past all of my faults and see the little boy that you befriended with an Apollo bar all those years ago. I did so many terrible things to you, but you could still forgive me. How does that work? And ever since I left the Island, I've realized that without you, I don't stand a chance of being like that little boy who you trusted with your friendship, your life, and even your heart. _

_ You made me a better person for the few months that you came back into my life, and for that I am incredibly grateful. I only wish I had one more chance to tell you just how grateful I am, and I wish I could see you again. I am the best part of me when I am around you, I am a part that I didn't even know existed before you came back to me. _

_ What kind of word could possible explain this? I've pondered this so many times in the last two years I have been without you. What kind of word could possibly define your ability to make me a better man? What kind of word could define the way that I feel about you? I know what I feel. It's the same thing I felt for you when we were young kids, and it's the same thing that I never told you about. I don't know why I never told you, but I didn't. I don't think I could._

_ Ben_

0o0o0o0o0o

_ Dear Annie,_

_ Against all odds, there may be a way for me to get back to the Island. It has been brought to my attention that there is a woman with the knowledge to bring us all back. By 'us', I mean the six who were able to get off of the Island: Jack Shephard, Kate Austin, Hugo Reyes, Sayid Jarrah, Sun Kwon._

_ I have scheduled to meet with this woman, Eloise Hawking, to find out what necessary means we must take to get back the Island. I imagine that it won't be simple. Nobody knows where the exact location of the Island is, and I don't intend on doing what Jack did – flying back and forth in the mere hopes that one of these times the plane will crash and land him back on the Island. But if there's any chance that I can come back to the Island, I will take it. And if I make it back, I'm going to find you. _

_ That's a promise._

_ Ben_

0o0o0o0o0o

_Dear Annie,_

_ I met with Eloise Hawking and discovered that the only way that I can get back to the Island is if all of us go back – every single person that crashed on the Island and managed to escape. It shouldn't be too difficult. I know that Jack already wants to go. I know where Sayid is. Kate will probably be the hardest to convince, and Sun has a daughter now. Hugo is easy enough to persuade. You would probably hate me for using these people to get back to the Island, but I can't stand it here. The Island is calling me. I need to come back. _

_ There is one other person that managed to escape the Island and come back to the States: John Locke. Yes, John Locke left the Island and came back to the States. Imagine my irritation when I discovered that he had left you alone – after I had explicitly asked him to look out for you and keep you safe. This makes me even more worried about you. Where the hell are you, and who are you with?_

_ Anyways, it shouldn't be too terrible to get him to come back to the Island since he's dead. The police ruled it a suicide. I know how fond you were of him. I'm going to really miss him too. _

_ But the positive to all of this is that his body should be easy enough to transfer. And I have an idea that Jack will be more than willing to help me._

_ Ben_

0o0o0o0o0o

_Dear Annie, _

_ Getting everyone together has been more difficult that I originally thought it would be. In fact, I'm beginning to think that it's downright impossible. I've practically been living with Jack for the last two weeks. He's in terrible shape. I flushed his drugs down the toilet the other day, but I don't know exactly what he thought about that. And I haven't seen him touch a drop of alcohol IN the last three days, but only time will tell how that all goes. _

_ Jack and I have been working hard to get the other four to join us. Eloise is absolutely sure that the only way we can go back is if we all leave together, but that proves impossible when they don't want to go back. But I'm trying, dear Annie. _

_ I do believe that's the first time I've ever called you by any kind of endearment. And considering you'll never read these letters, it's almost as if I'm writing to myself. So, now I just feel foolish, and I can assure you that I will never ever use such endearments in my letters ever again._

_ Ben_

0o0o0o0o0o

_ Dear Annie,_

_ Jack and I met with Kate, Sayid, and Sun on the docks last night. We tried to tell them our plans, but they all thought that we were insane and they refused to go with us. I was just beginning to think that we had failed when Sun threatened me at gunpoint. I made the mistake of revealing the survival of her husband to her. But, apparently, it wasn't a mistake because it was enough to convince her to come back to the Island to find her husband. _

_ Now, we have only Kate, Sayid, and Hurley to convince. We have John and Sun. But time is ticking. Eloise revealed the location of the Island, and she also told us the date that we must leave. It's very soon, I'm afraid, and this is our only chance. The Island calls to me so loudly now, I can barely stand it. I have to get back. I _must _get back._

_ Ben_

0o0o0o0o0o

_Dear Annie,_

_ We've done it! I'm writing this letter from my less-than-comfortable seat on the Ajira Airways Flight 316. I don't know how it happened, but everyone was at the airport at the exact time, and we all boarded the exact same flight. I'm finally on my way home!_

_ It's impossible to know when the Island will affect our flight and we'll crash, but I can wait patiently. Just knowing that within hours I will be home, on the Island, is enough of a comfort for me. And then I will look for you. I can't believe we will finally be reunited! How could fate be so kind to someone like me?_

"How can you write?" Jack asked from across the row to Ben.

The man didn't even look up from his piece of paper as he responded sarcastically, "My mother taught me." A lie, yes, but still. What kind of answer had Jack been expecting from such a stupid question?

"Aren't you the least bit nervous?"

Ben shrugged. "What do I have to be nervous about? I'm going home."

"Do you think anything's changed?"

"It's been three years," he replied in a monotone voice. "I'm sure some things have changed. But it's been my experience that the Island barely ever has any significant changes. And even if something's changed, at least we're going back."

Jack shook his head. "Why do you love it there so much?"

"I told you. It's my home."  
Jack squinted and saw the name written clearly across the top of Ben's sheet of paper. He smirked. "You sure you're not going back because of her?"

"I'm not sure I know who you're referring to."

Jack pushed himself up in his chair and rested his chin in his hand thoughtfully. "The insane woman you pulled out of the jungle."  
Ben shifted in his seat and frowned. "She's not insane." His voice was void of emotion, but Jack could tell he had struck a nerve.

"I knew you knew who I was talking about."

"Of course I knew," Ben replied quietly.

"Truthfully, I never ever thought you could fall in love with anyone. On the Island you were such a heartless bastard. You still are."

Ben scoffed. "Thanks for your kind words, Jack. I feel so much better now."

Jack chuckled. "Do you always do that?"  
"Do what?"  
"Resort to sarcasm when you're trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation?"

Ben looked away and shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come one, Ben." Jack chuckled again. "All I had to do was mention the phrase 'falling in love' and you were practically squirming with discomfort."

"So, your point is?"  
The man shrugged. "Doesn't matter. But you do realize that you love her, don't you? At least tell me that much."

"Excuse me, Jack, but this is none of your business."

Jack smiled. "Fine, Ben. Have it your own way."

Ben swallowed hard and bent over his sheet of paper again. Jack was right. He _was _uncomfortable.

"But," Jack interrupted his thoughts, "I hope that when we get back to the Island, you find this girl, and you tell her how much you love her. She deserves that at least."

Ben didn't so much as acknowledge the man. He just went back to writing, pretending that he was concentrating on the letter, while, in actuality, his thoughts were on Jack's troubling, but truthful, words. He really did need to tell her. Annie deserved to know. But, when the time came, would he have the courage to say those words that were three of the most powerful words in the entire universe? That was the real question. And it was a question that Ben couldn't answer.

His pen moved across his paper but he barely knew what he was writing.

_I hope that I find you well_,he resumed his letter,_ and I hope that you won't be angry at the way I abandoned you yet again. I hope that you know that I only did it for your good, and for every one else's. I hope that you're not angry with me, and I hope that when I find you again, you won't be insane, like you were the last time I found you._

_ Hopefully I will see you very soon._

_ Ben_

_ P.S. In the event that I never find you – I hate even the thought of that – I just wanted to tell you something. Something that Jack told me I should tell you, but I don't know if I will ever have the courage to say it, even if I do find you. So, I suppose I should tell you now. Annie, I lo– _

And in that moment, the most wonderful thing happened. The plane hit a terrible amount of turbulence. And it dropped right out of the sky.

The Island had finally claimed the Oceanic Six yet again. And Ben had managed to twist the rules – the rules that had said he could never return – and now he had come back home to the Island.

_Dear Annie,_

_ I'm back, and I'm coming to find you. I won't stop until I do. I promise._

_**Love**__, Ben_


End file.
